The Reason
by tlcinbflo
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple shakedown cruise. It was so much more. She was supposed to be his Commanding Officer. She became so much more. How could Kaidan Alenko know this one mission would change his life so completely? How could he know this one woman would alter the course of his future so fully? Shenko from the beginning; ME1-ME3
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Kaidan Alenko couldn't have been more surprised the week before when he'd received his classified assignment to the Systems Alliance Space Vessel Normandy Stealth Reconnaissance-1. The brand new ship was co-designed by Turians and Humans and there was some speculation on motives. Whether or not it was just a symbol from the Alliance to show they could move passed the events of the First Contact War didn't matter. The SSV Normandy SR-1 was a marvel of engineering and if the classified shakedown run to which he'd been assigned was a success it would prove to be the new standard for space frigates.

He had to admit he felt a sense of pride at being assigned to the SSV Normandy. The full crew list was still classified and according to his assignment would remain that way until they boarded. However, between the faces being seen around the station and the names being tossed around it seemed like the most skilled soldiers in the Alliance had been ordered to the ship. The most exciting rumor circulating the station was that Commander Shepard would be on board as the Executive Officer. She had an impressive record and her reputation demanded respect. If the rumor was true, and she had been assigned as second in command it would say a lot about the Brass's opinion of the Commander. The fact that they thought he would fit among this crew was humbling; he just hoped he could live up to it.

He was leaning against the rails at the docks where the Normandy sat, resting and gleaming in Alliance blue and grey, when he heard a soft ping and a light at his wrist caught his attention. He lifted it and activated his omni-tool. The orange glow of the holographic computer system lit his face as it came to life wrapping around his left hand and forearm as his right hand danced over the keys and he pulled up his inbox. The message indicated the Biotic Amps he had ordered immediately after receiving his assignment had arrived and were ready to be picked up. "Thank god," He muttered as he powered down the omni-tool and pushed away from the railing. He gave one last look towards the Normandy, and felt a rush of excitement for the next day. He was eager to find out which of the rumors were true.

He wondered absently, as he made his way towards the market to pick up and pay for his order, if there would be another Biotic on board. He hadn't worked with another person with biotic ability since training, and that hadn't ended well. Human, and alien, biotics had the ability to manipulate mass effect fields using dozens of element zero nodules within their nervous system. The eezo nodules react to electric stimuli from the brain allowing the Biotic to manipulate the dark energy. Human biotics had only been around for about twenty-five years, and there are some theories on how humans gained the ability. Some extremists felt humans were intentionally exposed to element zero, others stood by the official statement that it was all incidental. The more Kaidan thought about it, the more assured he was that it was a mix of both, though no one would admit to intentional exposures.

Kaidan's mother had been exposed to the volatile element while pregnant with Kaidan. He was in the first wave of human biotics to survive the exposure. Most children who had been exposed and born around the same time as him developed brain tumors and didn't survive long after birth. Others had bad reactions to the implants needed in order to allow them to harness the biotic abilities. Kaidan himself had one of the controversial L2 implants, which caused severe neurological damage to some users. Kaidan was lucky, in that he only suffered from intense migraines. Those that had served with him had been surprised to learn that he had never been retrofitted for the upgraded L3 implant that would allow him to live without the headaches. His concern was that it would change his abilities, as L3's tended to spike lower in power. Also, it was brain surgery and while medicine was advanced, the procedure would still require a doctor to cut into his brain.

It didn't take him long to get to the market and he walked up to the counter to pick up his order. He had ordered the upgraded amp and a few replacements just in case he would need them while on the mission and had feared they wouldn't arrive before he shipped out. He was greeted by the human shopkeeper. "Order for Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko," He asked and was handed a box with his order slip attached. He thanked the man and moved over to the register interface to make his purchase. A slender brunette moved up to the counter from behind him as he stepped away, he offered her a small smile which went unnoticed before he looked down to the order form. He scanned the box with his omni-tool and synced it to the register, his jaw dropping when he saw the price that came up. It was nearly three times what he expected.

He turned to go back to the shopkeeper to check the order when he heard a violent, "Fuck!" come from the brunette. The man tried in vain to calm her down, "No you don't fucking understand, I am leaving the station at 0600 and I need the goddamn amps before then. The amps I ordered cost three times this piece of shit you're trying to give me. I was told they were in, you need to find them," She demanded slamming her fist on the counter. A light blue energy field danced around her as her anger flared. The shopkeeper held up his hands palm out, as if he was facing a rabid animal and slowly backed away mumbling about checking the back.

As Kaidan checked the item in his hand he realized their boxes must have been switched and felt a soft embarrassment as he realized the "piece of shit" amps were his; they had cost a full months pay. He swallowed and moved towards her. "Ma'am?" He asked as he reached her. She turned towards him, eyes glowing blue like a gas flame as she glared at him. "I believe they may have mislabeled our boxes. I think I have yours and you have mine," He answered handing her the box after removing his order slip.

"What?" She snapped as she took the box from him and looked at the name of the amp inside. Immediately, her anger seemed to slide away and she bit her lip. He had handed her a box with the Savant VII amp and he reached for the box on the counter. Sure enough, it held his Prodigy V. The shopkeeper returned and started apologizing immediately, offering to have the amps shipped to her after she left free of charge. Kaidan watched as she looked to him and offered him a gentle smile. "No, that won't be necessary," She said and the shopkeepers face screwed up in confusion, he looked disoriented and Kaidan wasn't surprised. Her demeanor was a complete change from before, as if she were a new person. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. This gentleman figured out that the order slips had been switched and it's been settled now," The man nodded his thanks to Kaidan and the woman wished him a nice day as they moved away from the counter.

Kaidan was surprised at how quickly this woman went from flaring in anger to cool, calm and collected and offering a sincere apology. Her actions betrayed an extraordinary level of control over her abilities, and he wondered if she had flared intentionally for dramatics. Kaidan and the woman made their way over to the register to complete their orders. Ever the gentleman, he stepped aside to allow her to complete her transaction first. Maybe not so gentlemanly, it gave him a minute to appraise this woman. She was obviously military as she referenced a 24 hour clock instead of a 12 hour and truthfully, most biotics ended up enlisting. There wasn't much work for a Biotic in the private sector, unless they worked for one of the mercenary groups. He didn't recognize her from training which meant she was younger than him, and most likely an L3. She had long dark brown hair that fell with a gentle curl to the middle of her back, effectively hiding the implant at the base of her skull. She was a few inches shorter than him, and slender, but he wasn't misled by her frame. He could tell it hid a significant physical strength. He couldn't help but appreciate the way she filled out her jeans and the length of her legs. She turned and looked up at him nearly catching him in his appraisal, and that was when he recognized her. "Thank you, Soldier, I appreciate you stepping in."

She was dressed in civilian clothes, and her hair was down instead of pulled back in the regulation bun. Yet, he'd seen enough photos and news vids of her to know her when he saw her up close. The scar running from her right eyebrow, across the bridge of her nose and onto her left cheek was tell-tale enough. He was surprised he'd missed it before, but was sure it was because he'd been distracted at the way her eyes were glowing that intense cerulean blue. The photos and vids, however, did her no favors. She was much more attractive in person, scars and all. Her eyes sparkled a bright blue even without the flaring biotics. A soft smile graced her features, softening the lines of her face and he couldn't resist smiling back. "Not a problem at all," He answered, "Can I ask what gave it away?"

"You called me ma'am," She made a face mocking the formality and continued, "And your amp is about what I would expect an Alliance Marine to afford." Kaidan winced.

"Right, my 'piece of shit' amp," He spoke while looking down at his box, a self-conscious grimace on his features.

"Oh shit, you heard me," He noticed her cheeks flush in embarrassment and she quickly continued, "No! The Prodigy is a great amp, and truthfully it's what I have now. I just upgraded," She answered and Kaidan nodded. "Sorry, I'm Sloan Shepard," She said extending her hand. He reached out and accepted her hand with a firm shake, it was cool to his touch and he could feel the rifle hardened skin of her palm.

"Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko," He answered. He wondered absently if this meant the rumors were true and that she would be assigned to the Normandy as well. "It's an honor to meet you, Commander." Her face fell for a fraction of a second but she hid it behind a polite smile.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. Again, I apologize for the offense. I tend to shoot off at the mouth when I am angry," She answered as they dropped hands and he moved to complete his purchase.

"There was no offense, really. The Prodigy is a huge improvement on the Solaris I've been using so I'm anxious to try it out," He said and they made to leave the store falling into step next to each other.

"I'm surprised you're sacrificing the power bonus for the tech and cooldown boost," She admitted curiously and he noticed her glance at him out of the corner of his eye.

Now the door was open, and he would see if she held the same bias as others towards those with the L2 implant. He found himself hoping her own biotic ability would ease the prejudice. "Well, I'm an L2 so I tend to spike higher anyway and need the cooldown more than the boost to the power," He admitted with a sense of humility coloring his tone. She was silent for a few steps and they reached the console that would call the station transit.

"I've never worked with an L2 before," She admitted thoughtfully. "This may be a personal question and feel free to tell me if I'm overstepping but were you evaluated to be retrofitted for the L3?" She asked and turned to face him as she leaned against the railing supporting the console. "I've heard the side effects of the L2 can be severe."

"It is a personal question, but I don't mind," he explained his reservations and she nodded, understanding evident on her features. "I understand my abilities and know my limits. I'm comfortable with the L2."

"If it works for you, why change it?" She paused for a heartbeat. "You said you currently have the Solaris right?" She asked and he nodded. "You should consider hitting up the range here on the station to work out with the new amp. I remember being caught off guard at the difference. Hell, that's where I would be heading if I didn't still have work to do before the morning," She admitted as her omni-tool pinged, drawing her gaze from his face.

"That's not a bad idea," He agreed, grateful she'd already told him she wouldn't be able to go so he didn't have to try to work up the nerve to ask her.

"Excuse me," She offered making eye contact briefly before pulling up the interface, her face lit orange with the glow of the 'tool and Kaidan had to force himself to look away. He was tempted to ask her straight out if she was assigned to the Normandy, but thought better of it. It was classified for a reason, and if she was assigned it wouldn't make him look very good to be asking for information she wouldn't be able to give. "I have to be going," She said looking up to him and he could almost sense regret in her tone. "Good luck with the Prodigy," She offered with a gentle smile.

He returned the smile and held his hand out, "It was a pleasure meeting you, Commander." He noticed a flash of something – disappointment? – in her eyes for just a second.

"The pleasure was mine," She said shaking his hand and smiling up at him. "Godspeed, Lieutenant."

"Commander," He said with a slight nod as she dropped his hand and turned away from him. He watched her and his hand flexed open and squeezed closed. He hailed the transit cab to take him to the practice range on the station. As the cab pulled up, he wondered if he would see Commander Shepard sooner than she expected.

Kaidan's orders dictated his arrival time to the Normandy at 0500. He had been assigned as the head of Marine detail, so he would have to meet Captain and the XO before the rest of the crew arrived. He woke early and dressed in his Battle Dress Uniform before hooking up his new amp. Before leaving the barracks, he checked his appearance. His dark hair was combed back and appeared to fit the Alliance standard for the length of men's hair. He had to keep it a tad longer than allowed due to his hair standing higher than average in reaction to the biotic electricity constantly running through him. He had managed to sleep away the bags he'd had under his whiskey colored eyes since his last deployment and was not looking forward to seeing them again. He sighed and scratched at the freshly shaved skin of his square chin. With one last look over his uniform to ensure it was as it should be, he headed to the docking bay to officially check in and meet his Commanding Officers. He reached the airlock and was greeted by the ships Virtual Intelligence requesting his name and rank, "Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko requesting permission to come aboard," He stated firmly and awaited the ship's response.

A deep masculine voice he recognized as Captain David Anderson answered, "Permission granted, Lieutenant," The airlock opened and he entered. The ships scanning and decontamination systems ran over him and he waited patiently. The fact that this mission was simply to test out the new ship meant that it was considered low risk, a way to make sure the new technology worked as it should before it was used in anything more significant. He wasn't one to risk jinxing himself, but he felt comfortable believing this would be a short mission and he would be back at Arcturus Station within the month.

The scans finished and the ships door opened. He entered the bridge and was greeted by Captain Anderson. Kaidan saluted the Captain and waited for the return salute before standing at attention. "Relax, Lieutenant," Anderson ordered and Kaidan fell into a more comfortable stance, hands at his sides his bag still in his left. "Welcome to the Normandy," He offered.

"Thank you, Sir. It is an honor," Kaidan answered, keeping his eyes on the Captain.

"I'd like to introduce you to our XO, Commander Sloan Shepard," Anderson said stepping aside and Shepard stepped forward. If not for years of training and control, Kaidan may have grinned at the introduction. The rumors were true, and Kaidan found himself feeling excited for the opportunity to work with her. Kaidan moved back to attention and saluted his commanding officer.

After Shepard returned the salute, Kaidan fell back into his relaxed stance. "Did you get a chance to work out with the Prodigy last night?" She asked him, reaching out to shake his hand. He gripped hers firmly and felt the warm tingle of her biotics meeting his skin. He locked eyes with her for just a moment, her bottom lip pinched between her teeth, before releasing her hand. She must have been surprised by his appearance; her biotics hadn't reacted to his the night before.

"I did, thank you for recommending it. You were right, it is a great piece of equipment," He answered. "I'm glad they came in before we shipped out." He finished and she nodded in agreement. She was dressed in her BDU's and her hair was pulled up into a regulation bun. He noticed a gentle layer of make-up accentuating her delicate features and was drawn in again as he made eye contact with her. There were some female soldiers who didn't take pride in their femininity; they kept their hair short and wore nothing to soften their features. He always appreciated when a woman took the time to care about their appearance. He believed it showed a sense of confidence; that they didn't feel like they had to hide their girlishness in order to prove their abilities. It wasn't until the pink on her cheeks started to darken that he realized he'd been staring and had probably made her quite uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and looked away.

"I see you've met?" Anderson asked, a distracted tone to his voice. Shepard confirmed they had and Anderson seemed relieved. "Good. We'll start with a tour, then we'll review the rest of the staff coming aboard before the first briefing." Kaidan would be the ranking officer among the Marines assigned, which is why it was necessary for him to be aware of the crew and their training and histories so he could set their responsibilities. Anderson led them around the ship and as he hit the more important posts, he announced the name of the Soldier assigned.

Flight Lieutenant Jeff "Joker" Moreau would be the Normandy's pilot. He was widely regarded as the best pilot in the Alliance, and he would be the first to tell you. "When you meet him, ask him how he got the position. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't been there," Anderson said as the tour moved away from the bridge. They walked briskly through the command deck, which housed the Bridge, the Combat Information Center, and the Communication Room. They took the stairs down a flight to the Crew Deck. This floor held the mess in the center. The crew sleeper pods were near the main battery. The Captain's private cabin and office were behind a door on the port side of the ship, near the escape hatches. Kaidan's station was just outside the Captain's quarters and directly across from the medical room where Doctor Karin Chakwas would be found.

"Alenko, Dr. Chakwas has been previously briefed on your condition and assured me she will be well equipped to handle any complications that may arise from your implant," Anderson spoke as they moved towards the elevator. Kaidan stifled a sigh. Being an L2 was hardly a "condition," but Kaidan was aware the Captain meant no disrespect. It came from a lack of experience. Still, he felt his face flush when he noticed the sympathetic look he received from Shepard. He felt an unfamiliar need to prove himself to her – to them, to his superior officers.

"Thank you, Sir," Was his only response. He had been able to drop his bag off at his assigned sleeper pod before they completed their tour. They took the elevator down one level to the cargo bay and engineering which were located on the same level and were the last stops on the tour. Kaidan was in awe of the drive core they'd managed to fit on this ship. It was huge, and he could understand some of the politicians concern over spending the money on just one ship. This shakedown run would tell if the money had been well spent.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**: Just want to start by thanking those who followed. My goal with this was to tell My Shepard's story, since I didn't think she got a fair shake. I like the way Kaidan sees her, so I am going to stick with his point of view for the most part. Also, I wanted someone who had never played the games to be able to read it, and understand what was going on; namely my sister who proofs everything I write. So, bear with me through these first few chapters as I set up the different races and such.

I have to thank the Mass Effect Wiki for being an amazing source for information.

I hope you enjoy. Please feel free to comment, I'd love to know what you think so far. - TLC

* * *

Chapter Two

The crew had gathered in the mess later that morning. Kaidan had completed his paperwork and assignments had been made. They ship was headed to the human colony, Eden Prime, to test her stealth mode. Kaidan was in the process of finishing his lunch as he made small talk with the ship's Navigator, Charles Pressly. He was distracted from the Navigator when he heard Shepard's name come up in a conversation taking place over his shoulder. He glanced that way, and found the young Corporal Richard Jenkins speaking excitedly about their XO. "No! She's a colony kid! She was on Mindoir when the slavers hit. Most of the colony was taken or killed," He was arguing with another crewman, Emerson, Kaidan thought his name was.

"You sure? I thought she was born on Earth," Emerson answered back. This continued for a minute and Kaidan turned his attention back to the Navigator when the Corporal started listing her commendations. It was not unusual to appreciate another soldier's history, especially one as distinguished as Shepard's, but there was a time and a place – and a volume – at which it should happen. "And she's an N7. Girls don't usually complete the training!" It was hard to miss the tone in Jenkins' voice when he said "girls," like her gender was something she had to overcome. "Most men find it difficult," He said, an honest tone of wonder in his voice. He was green; inexperienced. He would learn that these honors were often hard earned and paid for in blood.

"Akuze!" The Corporal said loudly, drawing a few people's attention back to his conversation. Emerson had the decency to look abashed. Kaidan thought he heard something in the stairwell and looked around for Shepard, hoping she wasn't here to witness this. Jenkins was reaching the point of impropriety. He glared at the back of the Corporal's head as he continued. "She was the only one from her unit to survive the Thresher Maw attack! Thresher Maws! That's amazing! Can you imagine?" He gushed over her service record. "And she's a biotic. I've never worked with a Biotic before. I hope she doesn't have one of those L2 implants, they drive people nuts."

Kaidan excused himself quietly from Pressly and stood. There was no way for the Corporal to know there was an L2 sitting just behind him. Kaidan was well past the point in his life where an offhand comment would upset him. "I can't wait to see some action! Maybe I'll get a recommendation to the Ns," He said and Kaidan found himself unable to stay silent another second. His anger flared and he felt the hum of his biotics igniting. His jaw clenched and with just a simple release of the irritation he'd felt he sent the Corporal flying into the wall of lockers outside the med bay with a well-controlled biotic throw. He fell to the floor, and Doctor Chakwas came running out of the bay.

Corporal Jenkins popped up to his feet and threw his arms over his head shouting, "That was awesome!" The doctor retreated to the med bay, shaking her head, as Kaidan stalked over to Jenkins. When Jenkins saw him coming, a look of surprised fear spread over his face and he snapped to attention finally falling silent.

Kaidan stood directly in front of him, his brow creased and lips in a thin line. The blue biotic energy cloaked him like a second skin. He was close enough that the hair on Jenkins arms was standing on end as he started his reprimand. "You've got a lot to learn, Corporal," Kaidan said. Jenkins kept his eyes forward, staring past Kaidan as he should; his face flushed with embarrassment. "There is nothing amazing about a Thresher Maw attack, and you certainly wouldn't want to imagine it. Giant monsters, tangles of tentacles and teeth, crawling out of the ground at your feet to spit acid at you. You scream, but it's not going to help because the dirt fills your lungs as they pull you underground where, hopefully, you suffocate before they devour you," Kaidan let the image sink in while he took a breath. The Corporal's face blanched. "Your goal is a recommendation to the Ns? There is not one soldier with that honor who hasn't had to sacrifice themselves or their crew for the mission. This display over the last few minutes proves how far away from that you are. Learn some restraint, Corporal, some respect," Kaidan finished and turned on his heel heading towards the stairs.

"Yes, Sir," Corporal Jenkins answered, still at attention as he waited for Kaidan to dismiss him.

Kaidan took a deep breath as he headed towards the stairs. The mess hall smelled of eezo and his body thrummed with unspent energy. It was about time he went and checked in with Joker. He paused to look over his shoulder, "Oh, and Commander Shepard is an L3," He couldn't help but notice the sense of relief that washed over the whole room until he added, "I'm the only L2 you have to worry about on this ship."

He heard the soft hum of conversation fill the room behind him and felt the stare of more than one set of eyes on his back as he continued to the stairwell. Commander Shepard emerged around the corner as he neared it. There was a soft pause in his step as they made eye contact. With a barely perceptible lift at the corners of her mouth she simply nodded as she passed him. "Lieutenant," was the only greeting she offered.

He returned the nod as she moved out of his periphery, "Commander."

He took the stairs two at a time and reached the CIC. He nodded to the crew still at their stations as he made his way to the Bridge to speak with the Pilot. He'd been introduced at the preflight debriefing but still hadn't had the chance to ask him how he'd gotten the posting as Anderson had recommended. "Moreau," Kaidan greeted as he entered the cockpit.

"Do me a favor. I can't get that console to sync up with mine." Joker pointed at the station to his right. "Hop on over there and help me get the kinks out."

"Sure thing," Kaidan answered as he sat in the co-pilot's seat. "So, Joker, Anderson says you've got quite the story on how you scored this assignment." Kaidan prodded as he ran diagnostics on the monitor while glancing over at the pilot and watching him grin.

"I bet he did. Still can't believe it worked," He said with a chuckle. Kaidan stayed silent waiting for him to continue, "I was ordered to a different ship, but wanted this one. So, I stole it and refused to give it back until they changed my assignment," He answered as his hands flew over the displays.

"Now I know why they call you Joker," Kaidan said, "Seriously, what happened?" Joker looked at Kaidan from under the brim of his hat with a grin on his face. "Bull shit!" Kaidan exclaimed and Joker shrugged his eyebrows, still grinning, as he returned to the ship's controls.

"No, some ass of a Turian said he wouldn't give someone with my condition a posting on this ship. I wanted to show him, Vrolick syndrome or not, I was born to fly this girl. So, I locked the assigned pilot in a shuttle on the station and hijacked the ship. Risky? Sure. But I must have impressed the right people, cause I got the ship instead of a court martial," Joker answered. Kaidan had read his dossier and remembered the pilot's health issues. Vrolick Syndrome, or Brittle Bone Disease, meant that he was vulnerable and his bones would break easily and he had most likely been considered inferior his whole life. Kaidan could tell it hadn't made him weak-willed or lazy. Kaidan was impressed with the man, and glad for the opportunity to work with him.

"Joker," Anderson's voice rang out over the comm, halting any response Kaidan would have given.

"Yes, Captain?" He answered.

"We have to make a diversion; set a course for Omega," Anderson replied.

"Aye, aye, Captain," He answered and Kaidan and Joker exchanged a surprised look at the order as Anderson disconnected from the comm. "Omega? What could we possibly be doing at Omega?" Joker asked rhetorically.

"Picking up Nihlus Kryik," Commander Shepard answered startling both men, neither had heard her enter the cockpit.

"The spectre?" Kaidan asked, his voice raised in question.

"That's the request from the council," Shepard replied her tone gave away her annoyance at the pit-stop, "Joker where does that put our arrival at Eden Prime?" She asked, and nodded when Joker informed her it would be adding a full day to their travel time. Kaidan watched her out of the corner of his eye as she stared ahead at the passing stars for a full moment before continuing. "Carry on," She said as she left the cockpit. The only sound then was the low whistle Joker let out as he changed course. With the addition of a Spectre to the crew, Kaidan couldn't help but wonder if the mission had just changed course as well.

The Council, an executive committee composed of one representative each from the member species, has no official power over the governments of other species. However, their decisions carry considerable weight. No single Council race is strong enough to defy the others, and all have valid reasons to work together. The Council is the ultimate authority in Citadel space, setting laws and passing judgment for violations, settling disputes between governments, and maintaining law and order; often through the use of its own covert intelligence service: the Spectres.

Special Tactics and Reconnaissance agents are entrusted with extraordinary authority granted to them by the Council. This includes the power to decide life or death over galactic citizens. They are an elite group selected from a number of different species, and their main goal is to preserve galactic stability by whatever means necessary. They are generally considered as being above the law and have complete discretion as to the methods used to complete their mission; a fact that made many in the Alliance uncomfortable

Kaidan and Joker remained silent as they processed the new information. Kaidan spoke first, "You should be all set with this console," He offered as he powered down his omni-tool. Joker thanked him without moving his eyes from his own board. "I'm going to head down to the mess, do you need anything?" Kaidan offered.

"Nah, I'm good. Later," Joker responded absently and Kaidan headed towards the stairs.

Kaidan couldn't shake the tension that filled the CIC as he moved through it. It seemed like the addition of the Spectre, the Turian Spectre, had changed the attitude of the crew. He'd had his own history with Turians, and he had learned a long time ago that you couldn't judge a race, human or alien, by the actions of an individual.

When humanity first discovered that one of Pluto's moons was actually an ancient mass relay there was division on how to handle the new technology. Some thought it should be destroyed to protect the Sol system; to keep whatever was on the other side, on the other side. Others fought for exploration and the explorers won. When the humans started activating every mass relay they could find in their desperation to know, to learn, it was the Turians who first took notice of the activity coming from the once quiet area of space. Unknowingly, humanity had broken one of the Council's laws by activating the dormant relays and instead of attempting diplomacy, the Turians opened fire.

There were losses on both sides, and thankfully the Council intervened and brought about a tense peace. Unfortunately, after the war the humans were viewed as aggressors by the other Council races and twenty-six years later some of the animosity still held on. It wasn't one sided though, humanity never proved to be a forgiving race and there were still humans alive who had fought, or had family who had fought, in the First Contact War and they still felt uncomfortable around Turians. They believed the Turians couldn't be trusted. Yet, the Normandy herself was a product of Turian and Human design. Based on what Kaidan had seen so far, he was sure both races could learn from the other; if only they could set aside the past and look forward.

Kaidan wandered down to the mess and then hit the button for the elevator. He wanted to take some time to work with the weapons he'd been issued. As he stepped off the elevator, he noticed Jenkins there doing the same. He made his way over to his locker and pulled out the rifle and pistol before heading to the weapons station to check out the modifications available. When Jenkins noticed him he moved to stand and salute and Kaidan waved him off. He pulled up a stool and sat across from the Corporal as he start to disassemble his Avenger assault rifle.

"You're from Eden Prime, is that right?" Kaidan asked him without looking up from his weapon.

"That's right, Sir," Jenkins replied.

"What should we expect?" Kaidan asked as his hands moved over the pieces of his weapon that were now laid out in front of him.

"It's very peaceful. They've been real careful with development, so you don't have any city noise or pollution. My parents live on the outskirts of the colony. At night, I used to climb this big hill and stare across the fields back at the lights from the main settlement. It was gorgeous. But when I got older, I realized it was a little too calm and quiet for me. That's why I joined the Alliance. Even paradise gets boring after a while. I'm actually surprised we're headed that way, and with a Spectre." Jenkins finished and Kaidan gave him a questioning glance.

"It is just a shakedown, it's not like we're expecting any trouble," Kaidan reminded the young man as he snapped the rifle back together. He pulled out some of the available weapon modifications.

Jenkins was working with his rifle as well, and Kaidan was impressed with his dexterity. He was familiar with the weapon and Kaidan could tell he felt confident with it as he worked with the parts. "I don't know, Sir. Eden Prime's one of our most stable colonies. It is a good place to take the Normandy for her shakedown run, I guess. No real danger there, but there's got to be something else going on. It's not the type of place Spectres visit. It seems there's something the Captain isn't telling us about this mission. The whole crew feels it."

Kaidan thought on this for a moment. It was a valid point. This was supposed to be a test run for all intents and purposes. Yet, they had a full crew; Captain Anderson, an N7 agent, is one of the most highly decorated officers in the Alliance, Commander Shepard, also an N7 agent, as the XO, and now a Spectre? Kaidan didn't like being left in the dark, but he knew if there was something he needed to know, he would be filled in. It still left him with an uneasy feeling, but the Corporal didn't need to know that. "You're young Jenkins, you've got a long career ahead of you. Treat this like every other assignment you've had and you'll do fine."

"Yes, Sir. It's just, I've never been on an assignment like this before, not with a Spectre on board. It's why I'm still so wound up," Jenkins admitted as he set his rifle down. Kaidan felt a nostalgic smile pull at his face. He'd been where the Corporal was before, however, Kaidan was never quite as enthusiastic about enlisting – it was more of a convenience than a real desire.

"Just don't do anything stupid to screw this up," Kaidan answered him as he moved on to his pistol.

"Of course, Sir. Don't worry, I'm not going to screw this up. It's an honor to serve with this crew and I hope to learn all I can. Between Captain Anderson and Commander Shepard, I mean, if you melted down their medals you could make a life size statue of them!" Kaidan chuckled a little and Jenkins seemed to relax. "Plus, I've never worked with a biotic before. If I'm being honest, Sir, I've heard stories of your abilities as well. What you can do, it's impressive." Kaidan was surprised to know he had a reputation. Maybe he shouldn't have been so stunned by his assignment to this vessel. "Earlier, in the mess, the fact that you could throw me across the room with your mind is-"

"We don't use our minds, not really," Kaidan interrupted him. If Jenkins had never worked with someone with Biotics before he had quite a bit to learn. "Biotic ability in humans stems from an exposure to Element Zero while in utero. If it didn't cause cancer and kill you as a baby, you formed eezo nodules throughout your nervous system. These nodules allow us to…" He paused as he thought of the best way to describe it, "… effect the mass of things around us. We can control dark energy or gravity I guess you could say," Kaidan explained and the Corporal nodded. "So it's not like I'm using brain power," He finished.

"So you could move anything with mass. You can use the dark energy defensively as well, right?" Jenkins asked.

Kaidan nodded, "Exactly. I use my biotics more defensively with barriers and shields, whereas Commander Shepard uses hers more offensively."

"But you can use them offensively? You just choose to use them defensively?"

"Right," Kaidan answered. "I threw you across the room earlier, didn't I?" He asked him and Jenkins grinned.

"So, how does one protect themselves from that?"

"Increasing your mass; the more mass an object has the more energy and control it takes to have the desired effect. Heavy armor or certain mods add protection to hardsuits," Kaidan answered. "Most human biotics are not as powerful or controlled as other species, like the Asari or even the Krogan. Commander Shepard is the exception to that rule."

"Good thing she's on your side," Kaidan and Jenkins both jumped at the voice coming from the elevator. Commander Shepard offered them a crooked smirk as she headed towards the Mako; Kaidan's eyes followed her.

"Yes, ma'am," Jenkins answered as she passed their station. Kaidan returned his attention to the Corporal but not before watching Shepard climb into the infantry fighting vehicle. Jenkins's curiosity seemed sated for the moment, and conversation moved to his previous assignments and experience. Kaidan was glad for the down time to get to know the Corporal, maybe he wasn't a lost cause after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **Just wanted to take a moment to say thank you for the favorites and follows. It's very encouraging. If you have a minute, please leave a comment and let me know what you think. Enjoy...** - TLC**

* * *

Chapter Three

Kaidan had taken it upon himself to join Joker in the cockpit. The tense atmosphere of the ship was only amplified once Nihlus was actually on board. It made for a very uncomfortable environment, but Joker's sarcastic sense of humor kept the cockpit light. After promising Joker he wouldn't get in his way, Kaidan sat himself in the co-pilot's chair. Being at this console allowed him access to the ship's navigation computers and he was able to lose himself in the coding and ignore the tension on board. Kaidan had specialized Sentinel training, as well as first aid. Being trained as a Sentinel allowed him to use his biotics and his interest and talent in technology together as the defensive backbone of a ground team. The first aid training made him the team's field medic.

Kaidan felt the shift in the cockpit when Nihlus entered and stood behind the pair with his arms at his sides. They were headed towards the relay to get back on route to Eden Prime. Kaidan glanced at the Turian, quickly, before turning his attention back to his console. When humans first encountered the alien race, they didn't quite fit what alien lore had dictated. Turians looked almost avian, resembling humanoid birds. Kaidan could see how Captain Anderson would be reminded of the evolutionary link between birds and dinosaurs. They typically stand over six feet tall. Their most distinguishing feature is the metallic carapace, like the shell of a turtle, over their shoulders which contains trace amounts of thulium. This evolved as a defense against the greater levels of solar radiation that penetrate their homeworld Palaven's weak magnetic field. Their reflective plate-like skin makes them less susceptible to long-term, low-level radiation exposure, but unfortunately, does not act as any type of natural protection. A Turian's thick skin will not stop projectiles or directed energy bolts. Males and Females of the species do not differ greatly in physical appearance, except that the females lack the crest of horns that the males have.

They are an intimidating species, more predatory than prey. They have forward-facing alert eyes with outstanding eyesight. Their slender bodies betray their ability to move at high speeds. Their teeth and jaws mimic those of apex predators, like crocodiles or carnivorous dinosaurs. Their mouths are framed by a set of mandibles. They have two proportionately thick fingers and an opposable thumb on each hand. The talons on both their feet and hands are more than capable of ripping flesh. While their diet consists mostly of meat, they are part of a galactic minority as a dextro-protein reliant race. Foods consumed by humans, asari or salarians offer no nutrition and could cause a deadly allergic reaction.

"Get ready for the magic," Joker whispered bringing Kaidan out of the code and back into the cockpit to watch the jump. Kaidan watched as they headed towards the relay. He loved watching jumps up close like this. The way the blue energy swirled around the relay was beautiful, powerful. Joker spoke over the comm, his voice ringing throughout the CIC, "The Arcturus Prime relay is in range. Initiating transmission sequence. We are connected. Calculating transit mass and destination. The relay is hot. Acquiring approach vector. All stations secure for transit. The board is green. Approach run has begun," Kaidan caught a hint of a gentle floral scent, and looked and found that Shepard had also joined them to watch the jump, "Hitting the relay in 3 … 2 … 1…" They entered the energy of the relay and it felt like gravity was suspended for a brief second as their centers shifted and the ship was shot through the stars. Less than a minute later, the ship slowed, and Kaidan felt his stomach settle back up from his toes as he and Joker ran through the ship's systems. Joker continued to dictate, "Thrusters, check. Navigation, check. Internal emissions sync engaged. All systems online. Drift, just under 1500K."

"1500 is good. Your Captain will be pleased," Nihlus's two-toned, flanging voice rang out in the cockpit before he turned on his heel and headed out to the CIC.

"I hate that guy," Joker grunted as his hands continued to fly over his console. His annoyance evident in his posture.

"Nihlus gave you a compliment, so you hate him?" Kaidan asked glancing over his shoulder at Shepard. They made eye contact and exchanged an amused glance before Kaidan tore his eyes away and focused again on the console.

Joker's tone was still angry and harsh as he continued, "You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way out of the bathroom, that's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead. So that's incredible," His hands slowed on the console as the ship balanced out after the jump. His tone softened, "Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid."

Kaidan shook his head. It really was everyone on the ship who felt suspicious. "You're paranoid. The Council helped fund this project. They have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment." He only partially believed it was that simple, but would stick with what he had been told.

Joker let out a sarcastic chuckle, "Yeah, that is the official story, but only an idiot believes the official story."

"They don't send Spectres on shakedown runs," Shepard spoke under her breath. She sounded almost absent minded. Kaidan looked back at her and she shrugged.

"So, there is more going on here than the Captain's letting on," Joker said, like he'd been let in on a secret.

"Look, truthfully, I don't know any more than you do. Neither Anderson nor Nihlus have given me any information to indicate there's anything else going on. I'm suspicious, but I've got to agree with Alenko. At least until my CO tells me different," Shepard expanded on her thoughts as she looked to the back of Joker's head.

"Joker! Status report," Anderson's disembodied voice interrupted their conversation and Kaidan took the moment to look back at Shepard again. He was surprised she had shared her opinion with them. Her candor was contradictory to her reputation, but it was a pleasant contradiction.

"Just cleared the mass relay, Captain. Stealth systems engaged. Everything looks solid," Joker answered.

"Good. Find a comm buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance Brass before we reach Eden Prime," Anderson ordered.

"Aye, aye, Captain," Joker answered as he started his search for the buoy. His voice dropped to a softer tone when he continued, "Better brace yourself, Sir. I think Nihlus is headed your way."

The Captain's voice was annoyed when he responded, "He's already here, Lieutenant." Kaidan heard Shepard's soft laugh and turned to look at her. He noticed the brightness the humor brought to her eyes as they made eye contact again. He cleared his throat and looked away, reminding himself she was his CO, and he shouldn't be paying that much attention to the color of her eyes. The Captain continued, "Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm room for a debriefing." He heard her sigh.

"You get that, Commander?" Joker asked without looking at her.

"He sounds angry. Something must have affected the mission," She tapped the back of his chair and turned on her heel to make her way to the comm room.

"Captain always sounds like that when he's talking to me," Joker mumbled.

"Can't possibly imagine why," Kaidan responded and heard Shepard laugh loudly as she left the cockpit and crossed the CIC. She had a great laugh, breathy and rich.

"She's not what I expected," Joker said after a silent minute and Kaidan looked over to him. "I expected this bad ass super bitch who didn't give a damn about the means as long as the ends meet. She's not though. She talks to her crew, wants to get to know them," Joker looked over at Kaidan and nodded his head over his shoulder, back the way the Shepard had gone, "She laughs."

"She is certainly impressive," Kaidan agreed under his breath as he turned his attention back to the console. He missed the smirk Joker had sent his way. He was impressed by her. It wasn't too different from the way Jenkins spoke about her, Kaidan was just more disciplined and his appreciation was more subdued. The fact that she was so decorated yet still so down to earth surprised him. He knew it was just a case of hero worship and would pass, most likely after they fought together for the first time. Fighting side by side with someone, having their back and knowing they have yours, will always humanize them.

"Holy shit…" Joker said when the first images from Eden Prime came through the comm and were displayed on their consoles. It was an unclear image, but the sound of gunshots and explosions were clear. Immediately, Kaidan ran a program to fix the image. It was still choppy, but there was no doubt the colony was under attack. Neither Kaidan nor Joker could tear their eyes away from the feed. A woman's voice rang out an order to get down, followed quickly by more gunshots.

A male officer's face filled the screen. "We're under attack! Taking heavy casualties. I repeat: heavy casualties! We can't… argh! ... –eed evac! They came out of nowhere. We need…" The image panned away from the officer as more gunshots rang out. Then the screen went black. The cockpit was silent, and Kaidan and Joker looked to each other. Kaidan attempted to reach out to the colony again as Joker rang into the comm room.

"Captain, we've got a problem," He said simply, his voice panicked, as he brought the footage around to the beginning.

"What's wrong, Joker?" Anderson answered, alarm in his voice.

"Transmission from Eden Prime, sir. You better see this!" Joker was already putting the images through as Anderson told him to put it on their screen. Kaidan and Joker stopped and watched it through again. Kaidan felt his stomach drop and his heart race. What made it worse was that there was no clear shot of who was attacking the colony. They'd be going in blind. The feed ended again and Kaidan swallowed hard. "Everything cuts out after that. No comm traffic at all. Just goes dead. There's nothing." Anderson asked him to reverse the feed and hold it at a specific frame and ask for a status report. "Seventeen minutes out Captain. No other Alliance ships in the area."

"Take us in, Joker, fast and quiet. This mission just got a lot more complicated," The end of the order was spoken almost under his breath.

Joker had left the comm open and Kaidan could hear Nihlus's two-toned voice ring out, "A small strike team can move more quickly without drawing attention. It's our best chance to secure the beacon." Beacon? Kaidan was suddenly very uncomfortable with the Turian.

Anderson asked Nihlus to get his gear and to meet down in the cargo hold. "Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up, Commander. You're going in."

"Aye, aye, Captain," Shepard answered and Kaidan felt himself straighten in his seat. They heard the soft sigh of the comm room door open and close. "Alright, Alenko, I know you're still listening. Get Jenkins and meet me down in the cargo bay. I'll brief you as we gear up." Kaidan answered in the affirmative and logged off the console. He left the cockpit and made his way down to the cargo bay.

The ground team met up at their lockers. Shepard was waiting for them, already in her armor. Her light armor was black and thin. The protection was in the weaving. It allowed her to move more freely in battle and it wouldn't hinder her biotics. Kaidan's armor was very similar, the major difference was the white N7 on her chest and the red stripe that stretched from her shoulder guard, down her gauntlet to her covered hand. Her features lit by the omni-tool she was working on. Her face was hard, a deep crease between her sculpted eyebrows and her lips pressed into a thin line. The way her brows angled in concentration made her scar more prominent. She was shorter than him, and had a petite frame, but she exuded a confidence that made her more intimidating than Kaidan would have thought possible.

Kaidan and Jenkins opened their lockers and started to pull out their armor. Shepard pulled up the video again on her 'tool, her face unclear as she turned to Jenkins. "Listen, Corporal, this may be difficult to see considering you grew up here. You need to see it before we hit the ground. I need to know if I can trust you to focus on the goal regardless," Her voice was firm, leaving no room for question as he nodded buckling his greaves at the knee. Kaidan locked eyes with Shepard as she started the footage. She looked away and loaded her pistol before sliding it into position at her hip. Kaidan watched Jenkins's face as the images played. He watched the shock turn to horror and end at anger as the screen flickered off. "Can you do it, Jenkins?"

"Yes, Commander," He answered, his voice thick with emotion. Shepard stared at him unblinking as the seconds ticked by. Kaidan had the feeling she was still unsure of the young man, but she wasn't going to tell him to stay behind, she had to take him at his word.

She nodded before speaking, "Clearly, this mission is not what we were told it was." Kaidan's jaw clenched at the confirmation of their suspicions. She turned her attention to Kaidan as she continued; she offered the Captain's explanation to him. "The order for secrecy came from the top. It's strictly need to know. We were scheduled to make a covert pick up from Eden Prime, hence the stealth systems being operational. A research team unearthed some kind of beacon during an excavation. It was Prothean. Eden Prime doesn't have the facilities to handle something like this. We are taking the beacon back to the Citadel for proper study. This goes far beyond mere human interest and this discovery could affect every species in Council space. The last time humanity discovered something like this it jumped our technology forward 200 years."

"Why didn't we keep it for ourselves?" Jenkins asked, as he secured his chestplate. Shepard glared at him for a moment at the interruption.

Kaidan could feel her tension, in her tone and in the way she stood. Jenkins was oblivious. "Humans don't have the best reputation. Some species see us as selfish, unpredictable, too independent, and even dangerous. Keeping it would only validate that. By sharing the beacon we can improve relations with the Council. Plus, they know more about the Protheans than we do. We need their scientific expertise," Kaidan answered, as he secured his own armor.

He looked over at Shepard and she nodded at him before continuing, "The Protheans vanished 50,000 years ago. Yet, their legacy remains. The mass relays, the Citadel, our ship drives, it's all based on Prothean technology. Alenko, you seem to have a firm grasp on what this means for the Alliance's position in the galactic community. Jenkins, what do you know about the Protheans?" She asked, leaning against the lockers. Her helmet on the bench in front of her and she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Just what they taught in school," He said and looked at Shepard. She raised an eyebrow as a way to tell him to continue. "Uh, they were a technologically-advanced species that ruled the galaxy 50,000 years ago. Then they vanished, nobody really knows how or why, though, there are plenty of theories. Everyone agrees galactic civilization wouldn't exist without them. It is their Citadel that is very center of society out here. It's their mass relays that make interstellar travel possible. We all owe the Protheans a great debt. If humanity hadn't discovered the Prothean ruins on Mars, we'd still be stuck on Earth," Jenkins answered and Shepard nodded.

"The Mars ruins were just a small data cache. Who knows what we can learn from this beacon?" Kaidan contemplated.

"What if it's a weapons archive?" Jenkins added, almost sounding giddy in his attempt to put thoughts of his family aside.

"I don't deal in what ifs," Shepard snapped, Jenkins's gaze dropped down away from her and Kaidan moved his eyes to hers as she continued. "Regardless, whatever it is, we can't let it fall into the wrong hands," Shepard stated. Kaidan clamped his mouth shut at the annoyed tone in her voice. Jenkins piped up and asked what she meant by wrong hands. "The Attican Traverse isn't the most stable sector of Citadel space. There are plenty of raiders and criminal groups active in the region. They might figure a Prothean beacon is worth the risk of attacking an Alliance ship. Plus, Eden Prime itself is on the edge of Citadel space. It's right on the border of the Terminus Systems."

"But the Attican Traverse is under Citadel protection, if the Terminus Systems attack it's an act of war!" Jenkins exclaimed, his eyes wide.

"Technically, yes. The concern is that some of the species in the Terminus might be willing to start a war over this," Shepard replied.

"I'm sure the last thing the Council wants is to be dragged into a major conflict with the Terminus System," Kaidan added and Shepard nodded with a raised eyebrow.

"That's why we have to keep this low key," Shepard finished and the three looked to each other in silence for a minute. Shepard asked if there were any questions, and neither Kaidan nor Jenkins spoke up. "We're about two minutes out," She added. "Get ready to drop." She gave the order and moved towards the door at the back of the bay. Kaidan gestured for Jenkins to stand and he ran over the clasps of his armor, ensuring they were sealed properly. He gave Jenkins the all clear and looked over his shoulder at Shepard. She seemed off. She had been laughing the last time he'd seen her. Was this simply the mission? Was this where her unforgiving reputation came from or was there something she still wasn't sharing?

Kaidan went to stand with Shepard near the drop door. He noticed a loose latch at the top of her shoulder guard. "Excuse me, Commander?"

"Yeah, L.T.?" She answered turning to face him, and abbreviating his title. He told her of the missed latch and she cursed, "Thanks, Alenko." She went to make the adjustment but Kaidan's hand was already there, securing it. She made eye contact with him, and slowly lowered her hand to her side without looking away. He urged her to turn so he could check the rest of the closures. Her eyes narrowed at him, and he didn't look away. Almost reluctantly, she turned and let him double check her armor. "Watch your hands, Lieutenant," She cracked quietly as his hands followed the seams of the armor along her sides.

"Of course, Commander. You're all set," He said before tapping her shoulder with the all clear. She turned to look at him, and motioned for him to turn around. He obliged and she ran her hands over the seals on his armor performing her own check. When she finished, she told him he was clear and he turned towards her. Captain Anderson called for their attention. As they gathered around the Captain, they put on their helmets. "Alright, Shepard's in charge of the ground team. Secure the beacon and get it to the ship ASAP. That is your main objective. Survivors are a secondary concern. Nihlus will accompany you to observe the mission," Anderson ordered. Nihlus dropped first, stating he moved faster on his own.

"Approaching drop zone two," Joker's disembodied voice announced. The ground team prepared for the jump. Anderson watched as they dropped from the Normandy to the red dirt ground of Eden Prime.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Thank you again to those who followed or favorited. I hope you enjoy how I handled Eden Prime. This chapter is slightly shorter than the previous chapters, but the next one has some actual Shepard/Alenko interaction ... so ... there is that, just bear with me a little bit longer. If you have a moment, please, drop me a note and let me know what you think. There is no such thing as a negative comment, so if it's something you don't like, let me know that as well. I always appreciate any feedback. Enjoy. **- TLC**

* * *

Chapter Four

Kaidan let out a deep, shaky sigh as he pulled Jenkins's magnetic name plate off the locker and dropped it into the box with the rest of the young man's belongings. He made his way to the elevator. Captain Anderson had asked him to clear out the Corporal's locker and bring him his personal effects. The mission had gone to hell moments after they'd hit the ground. The images the Normandy had received had shaken Jenkins more than he'd let on. Shepard's reservations had been well founded. His family was still on Eden Prime. Maybe that was why he had rushed to take point without waiting for Shepard's order. It had all happened so fast. He dashed out ahead of both Shepard and Kaidan before Kaidan had the opportunity to scan the area for hostiles.

The assault drones rose into the air from nowhere and Jenkins was down with a strangled cry before Kaidan or Shepard had a second to throw up a barrier. They made quick work of the drones and hurried to the fallen soldier. Kaidan dropped to a knee to check for a pulse. He was gone. Shepard had let out a string of curses looking up at the blue sky. Kaidan reached down and closed Jenkins's eyes. He was too young to go out like this. "Son of a bitch," Shepard sighed. "Alright, Alenko. We'll see he gets a proper burial after the mission. Right now, we need to focus," She said as she reloaded her rifle, it was hard to tell if she was saying it for his benefit or her own.

"Yes, ma'am," He answered as he stood and pulled up his omni-tool to check for hostiles in the surrounding area. "Area's clear," He informed her. "I've got your six." She stopped and looked back at him. Her eyes were bright when they met his, and she gave him a quick nod. He was impressed and encouraged by the Commander's ability to compartmentalize. She lost a crew member, and the anger she'd expressed while cursing the sky betrayed her true emotions. She took that human moment and then turned her focus back to the mission. He was able to concentrate on the mission, and not Jenkins's cold, empty stare because she was able to. He could see where her reputation came from, the one that said she was heartless and cared only about results. He had a feeling that she would take the time to grieve later, when there was time. He wondered what else public opinion had wrong about her.

"Let's go," She said. "And Lieutenant?" He waited for her to continue. "Don't die on me." There was no question in her tone, it was an order. It was an order he had no intention of disobeying. He answered in the affirmative and she kept her eyes on him a second longer before turning around, and leading them out.

Kaidan stepped off the elevator and set the box down on the table in the mess and pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He'd felt the beginnings of the migraine as he had carried Shepard onto the ship, but he hadn't had a chance to seek treatment yet. Besides, Dr. Chakwas had her hands full. He opened his eyes and looked through the window of the med bay and saw the Doctor standing over Shepard with her omni-tool up. His heart sunk when he realized Shepard was still unconscious. Grabbing the box, he walked over to Anderson's cabin and lifted his omni-tool to request access. He pinged the Captain and the response came a full moment later when the lock turned green.

"Captain," Kaidan greeted, and Anderson stood from the terminal at his desk and scrubbed a hand over his face. Kaidan set the box down on the table and Anderson gestured for him to sit.

"What the hell happened down there, Alenko?" Anderson answered and Kaidan sighed.

"Geth," was Kaidan's simple answer and the look of disbelief on Anderson's face was understandable. The Geth were a race of artificial intelligences who live beyond the Perseus Veil. They had been created by the Quarians as laborers and soldiers. However, they evolved and when the geth became sentient and began to question their masters, the Quarians attempted to exterminate them. The geth proved to be superior in battle and won the resulting war. The Quarians lost their homeworld to the geth and are now a race of nomads. The lesson the Quarians learned is viewed as a warning to the rest of the galaxy of the dangers of artificial intelligence. It is the reason the suppression of artificial intelligences throughout galactic society is legally enforced.

"Have you spoken with Chief Williams?" Kaidan asked and Anderson answered that he had but only briefly. "She would know what happened to the colony, specifically. We were dropped into a mess. Jenkins, he was from Eden Prime, Sir. I think, when we saw the devastation up close, I think he was hoping to find his family. It's hard enough to see civilian fatalities in a battle zone, but when the civilians are people you grew up with?" He let out a long breath, and Anderson stayed silent waiting for him to finish. Kaidan continued. "He rushed ahead before the order was given to move out. The Geth drones came out of nowhere and ripped through his shields before Shepard or I had a chance to react," He shook his head gently and momentarily pressed his fingers into his eyes before scrubbing his hands over his face. "After Jenkins, we came across Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. She watched her whole unit die and was fighting the invasion alone when we picked her up. She's a skilled soldier," He paused for a second, swallowing hard and trying to force the pain away. He was glad for the soft blue lighting of the Captain's Quarters, it made it easier to keep his eyes open as his mind betrayed him.

"There were these giant motorized spikes that, well, they started as a base which was about 3 feet high. Then the spike would shoot out from the center and raise up to maybe, twelve feet into the air. The geth were impaling the colonists on them while they were still alive. At first, I assumed it was psychological warfare. An attempt to rattle us by displaying our dead. As we moved further into the colony we saw the spikes lower back into the bases and the colonists had changed. They were not dead, but not alive either. Mindless. Like zombies, or husks, and they would rush you and try to maul you. There was one point I had been surrounded and if it hadn't been for the combination of the Commander and my biotics, I don't think I would have made it out," Kaidan admitted and tried to swallow the guilt when he remembered she was still out cold thanks to his stupidity.

"By the time we reached the dig site, the beacon was gone. We were heading towards the cargo train and we heard a single gunshot," He could still smell the unique mixture of blood and gun powder that came from this type of battle. He could hear the distant screaming of the colonists slowly ending. He pinched the bridge of his nose and attempted to bring himself back into the conversation with Anderson and away from Eden Prime to finish giving his report. "We took out some more geth and husks in the area and that was when we found Nihlus's body. He'd been shot point blank, execution style. There was no way it was the geth. That was when we found the dock worker who witnessed it. He said there was another Turian there that Nihlus was familiar with and that Nihlus had called him Saren," Kaidan looked at the Captain when he said the name, and he noticed the recognition pass over his features.

"Saren's a spectre," Anderson stated absently. "One of the most decorated, you're sure he said it was Saren?" Anderson had pulled up his omni-tool and was navigating through some systems as he spoke to Kaidan. Kaidan nearly winced at the bright light. He looked down as he answered that he was sure, and Anderson urged him to continue.

"The dock worker took off, heading over to where the survivors were gathering. We hit the cargo train still looking for the beacon. The geth were everywhere. We reached the other end of the base and the geth had set up four bombs to blow what was left of the settlement. While Shepard and Williams handled the geth, I disarmed the bombs," Kaidan cleared his throat, he was coming up to the more embarrassing part of the report. "Saren was long gone by the time we took care of the bombs, and all that was left was the beacon. I…" He stopped and scrubbed a hand over his face. Mentally scolding himself for not knowing better. It was getting harder to keep his thoughts straight through the pain of his migraine and he could feel his stomach start to roll. "Shepard called for the Normandy to come pick us and the beacon up. I was so… I was curious; Actual working Prothean technology. All I did was walk towards it, I swear, I didn't touch it but suddenly," He knew he was making excuses. Anderson's face remained passive. Kaidan cleared his throat before he continued, "I was caught in some kind of pull, and my vision went… wrong. Everything was distorted. It hurt," Kaidan stopped and swallowed the bile rising in his throat.

"Next thing I knew I was being pulled away from the force and tossed aside. When I sat up, Shepard had been caught in the beacons energy field. It lifted her off the ground and held her there. I wanted to go to her, like she had for me, but Williams stopped me," He remembered feeling the power in Shepard's arms as she pulled him out of the way. For such a small woman, he was surprised by her strength. He left out how guilty and scared he'd been at the sight of her elevated, her arms stretched out to the sides and her head thrown back in a silent scream. "It held her for maybe a minute; it felt longer. Then the beacon exploded and sent the Commander hard to the ground. I went to her, and she was unconscious. I made quick work of checking her vitals while Williams called Joker for an ETA," Kaidan finished his summary. He looked away from the Captain and placed pressure at his temples.

"Well, I am not anxious to see what the Council will do with Shepard's bid for Spectre now," Anderson sighed, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. That explained Shepard's anxiety before they dropped down to the colony. She would be the first human Spectre. Which means Nihlus would have been sent to observe her and to help the Council make the decision on whether or not to install her. This would not bode well for her. Kaidan said nothing, not wanting to overstep. "I have to call Jenkins's next of kin. You said Chief Williams impressed you?" He asked and Kaidan answered in the affirmative. "I'll be requesting her reassignment to the Normandy, then, if you agree?" Kaidan was momentarily surprised the Captain was asking his opinion. Then again, with the Commander out of commission he was the only one who had seen her in action.

"I do. I think she'll be an asset to the crew," Kaidan answered and stood when the Captain did. "Maybe a little green, but she showed some serious skill in simply surviving until help arrived."

Anderson nodded, "Alright Alenko. Why don't you head over to the med bay and get checked out. I'll need your written report on the mission before cycle's end," Kaidan saluted the Captain, and decided to write up his report before heading to see the Doctor. He had a suspicion the drugs she'd give him would make him groggy at the least, if not knock him out. He stopped at his station and forced himself to focus on the terminal in front of him as he typed up his report. His gaze drifted more than once towards the windows of the med bay, hoping to see Shepard up and about. He scolded himself and rushed through the rest of the paperwork, skimming it briefly before submitting it to Anderson's inbox and powering down the terminal.

He entered the med-bay and Dr. Chakwas spoke without looking up from her 'tool, "I was wondering when you would be stopping in," She said in her soft British accent. She stood, closing her 'tool and gestured for Kaidan to take the bed next to Shepard. He asked how she knew he would be coming. "Chief Williams informed me you may have been affected by the beacon as well. Considering the Commander's abnormal beta waves, I assumed you would have a migraine before the end of the day. Where are we on the pain scale?"

"About an eight, but I know it's still building, it's going to get worse before it gets better," Kaidan admitted, his voice quiet. She nodded, her face grim as she went to the medicine cabinet.

"Well, get comfortable then," She stated simply as she pulled some vials out of her cabinet. "The meds will make you sleep, and hopefully, when you wake it will be manageable again. I've done some research and spoke with some colleagues who specialize in L2 implants," She was whispering and had already dimmed the lights. He toed off his boots and set them under the cot before sitting. The cool air of the med-bay, combined with the soft lighting made it easier for him to open his eyes, which instantly fell on Shepard's sleeping face.

She really was a remarkable soldier. It was one thing to hear about Commander Shepard, it was something else completely to see her work in person. Aside from her career achievements, watching her on the battlefield was like watching a master painter at a canvas. She was fearless and bold. Some called her irresponsible, though you couldn't argue with her results. She would plow into the center of the opposition without seeking cover. Methodically, and alternating between powerful biotic throws or warp fields and her deadly accurate aim with her assault rifle, she would take out a group barely sustaining damage. It was as if she could anticipate their next move, or where the next bullet would be coming from. He wondered absently if that was the N training. He was struck with the urge to impress her, to make her see that he was worthy of this posting. That he was worthy to serve under her.

Dr. Chakwas was standing in front of him now, and he looked to her. Her gentle face was framed by softly graying blond hair. Her green eyes were dim with concern, and the worry creases at the corners indicated years of stressful situations. He rolled his sleeve up higher on his arm and she slid the needle in, injecting the narcotics. "This will treat the tension, and the inflammation. There is also a powerful pain killer, and a sedative," She informed him, looking up at his face. She reached out a hand and ran it across his forehead. Kaidan instantly thought of his mother and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "You should be sleeping soon, and should sleep for at least a few hours. I will alert the Captain of your status," She stated and Kaidan winced. First groundside mission and the headaches already had him sidelined. She opened her omni-tool and ran a scan over his form.

He laid back on the cot bringing his feet up. She told him to rest, and he chuckled as she shook out a blanket and laid it over him. "It gets chilly in here," She explained. He thanked her and she smiled at him patting his shin. He watched as she went to Shepard, she placed her fingers at her pulse point and opened her omni-tool to run a scan over her again. There was a small frown on her face as she deactivated the tool. She sighed, and reached out to run her hand over Shepard's face like she had Kaidan's. He felt a little sad at that. When was the last time a maternal hand had graced her features while she was sick or injured? She would have been sixteen when Mindoir was attacked. He sighed and draped his arm over his eyes, trying to keep out the little bit of light in the room. If he felt this bad after seconds in the beacon's beam, he could only imagine what Shepard would feel like when she woke; if she woke. He felt like an idiot.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **Since the last chapter was not a favorite of mine, I figured I would add this one now instead of waiting until next week. I hope you enjoy. **- TLC**

* * *

Chapter Five

Kaidan was awake well before he opened his eyes. He lay, listening to the sounds of the med-bay as he assessed his remaining migraine; a dull throbbing. He heard Dr. Chakwas on the other side of the room, quietly humming to herself. The soft of the monitors next to him told him Shepard was still there. He let his eyes open slowly and was grateful the migraine remained at bay. As he sat up, he looked over Shepard. She seemed unchanged for the most part. Though, her face appeared tense. As he adjusted to being upright he decided his migraine, while not gone, was manageable just like the Doctor promised it would be. He cleared his throat gently, "Ah, Lieutenant Alenko," Dr. Chakwas greeted in a soft voice as she turned to look at him. "How are you feeling?" She asked and he gave her an update as she walked over to him. She ran a quick scan, checking his vitals while nodding. "Very good. Day cycle has ended so your sleep schedule will be off," She walked over to a closet towards the back of the bay and returned with a box of tea bags. "If you're feeling too wound up to sleep right now try some of this tea. It should help you relax and fall into a natural sleep, instead of a drug induced one."

"Thank you, Dr. Chakwas. I appreciate all the extra steps you've taken to be able to handle my uh… 'condition,'" Kaidan offered her a smile, and she shook her head.

"Nonsense. It is not a condition. It is a side effect. A side effect of the very ability that allows you to be the type of Soldier the Alliance needs you to be. Don't ever apologize for it, just make sure you ask me for help when you need it and we'll be just fine," She admonished him like a mother would a small child, and it warmed him.

"Yes, Ma'am," He couldn't help the smile that pulled at his lips. It was rare to find a doctor who saw the migraines for what they are. He was grateful for her presence on this mission. She tapped his knee and returned the smile before going over to her desk. Kaidan's gaze fell back to Shepard. He wished he'd still had an excuse to sit in the med bay and wait for her to awaken. The guilt gnawing at his core. "May I ask how the Commander is doing?" He inquired as he slid his boots back on.

"Based on her brain activity, I believe she is no longer comatose, just resting. I expect she should wake up soon," Dr. Chakwas answered. Kaidan looked again to her face, which still seemed restless. He started towards the door when he heard a soft moan leave her. He stopped and looked to her, her brow was creased and she was wincing.

"Dr. Chakwas, I think she's waking up," Kaidan called to her and she walked over as Shepard's eyes opened. In one fluid motion she sat, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Her hand went to her forehead and she held it. Dr. Chakwas opened her omni-tool to run a scan. Shepard's eyes were pinched closed and her jaw was clenched.

"You had us worried there, Commander. How are you feeling?" Dr. Chakwas asked as Kaidan moved to stand behind the doctor and give her room. Shepard was pale still, with dark circles under her eyes.

It took her a minute to answer, as if she were assessing herself. She lowered her hand, and slowly opened her eyes. She took a few deep breaths. Her voice was soft and quiet when she spoke, "I'm alright, just a minor throbbing. No worse than the day after shore leave," She attempted a joke, but winced with her chuckle. The doctor smirked as she finished her scan. "How long was I out?"

"About fifteen hours. I guess something happened down there with the beacon," The Doctor answered as she stepped away from Shepard. Shepard's eyes widened when she'd been told how much time she'd lost. Shepard stood, wavering slightly, and Kaidan had to restrain himself from reaching out to steady her. She caught herself and leaned against the bed for support.

"It's my fault," Kaidan spoke up before she could ask what happened. When her warm blue gaze moved from the Doctor to him he instinctively adjusted his stance to a relaxed attention. She seemed momentarily surprised he was there. "I must have triggered some kind of security field when I approached it. You had to push me out of the way," He added, and her gaze softened.

"Have you dealt with many active Prothean beacons?" Shepard asked, her tone thick with sincerity. Chakwas was smirking as she directed her attention to her 'tool.

"No, Ma'am," He answered, his face screwed up in confusion.

"Then stop it, Lieutenant," She scolded gently, while maintaining eye contact. "There was no way any of us could have known what would happen," She reassured him and as the weight of the guilt lifted from his shoulders he felt a relieved smile tug at the corners of his mouth. He could see the disappointment in her eyes. Though, he was not sure if it was disappointment in him or in herself and the failed mission. Either way, he didn't like it.

"Actually, we don't even know if that's what set it off. Unfortunately, we'll never get the chance to find out," Dr. Chakwas added absently drawing the Commander's attention. She seemed disoriented still, and possibly frustrated with getting pieces of information instead of a full briefing.

"Why? What happened to the beacon?" Shepard asked looking back to Kaidan. Her eyes were dark with anxiety, her lips a tight line and her brow was creased. He cleared his throat before he answered.

"The beacon exploded. A system overload, maybe," Kaidan started and was interrupted by Shepard.

"Goddamn it!" Shepard slammed her fist on the bed next to her and dropped her head, as a wave of blue energy whispered over her. The Doctor and Kaidan exchanged an apprehensive glance. There was a heavy silence in the room that lingered. Instantly, the guilt hit him again like a wave and he swallowed hard.

After a few long, tense moments Kaidan continued, "The blast knocked you cold. Williams and I had to carry you back here to the ship."

Shepard's shoulders lifted and fell with a deep sigh. "Well, thanks for the assist, L.T., I owe you one," Her tone was resigned, and dissatisfied. She didn't even look up. It was another moment before she lifted her eyes and met Dr. Chakwas's. Her color had returned. Her cheeks were flushed with disappointment, or embarrassment, that the mission had gone so wrong. "What's the damage, Doctor?" She asked.

"Physically, you're fine," Chakwas said and Shepard nodded, looking relieved. "Yet, I detected some unusual brain activity, abnormal beta waves. I also noticed an increase in your rapid eye movement, signs typically associated with intense dreaming," Dr. Chakwas was watching her closely, and Kaidan wasn't sure if he should stay or if the point of his presence being appropriate had passed. Shepard turned her attention and found his eyes for a moment, and there was a flash of fear before they hardened, and dropped from his. He decided to stay.

She spoke with a soft yet firm voice, "I saw… I'm not sure what I saw. Death. Destruction. Nothing's really clear. There were synthetics, the geth maybe. Slaughtering people, butchering them. It was, awful." Her eyes had drifted closed, and her arms crossed over her chest in a defensive pose.

The doctor made a soft noise acknowledging her statement, "I'd better add this to my report." Shepard's eyes snapped open and she glared at the Doctor. Kaidan shifted uncomfortably.

"What? That I had a nightmare? That's hardly relevant," Shepard's tone was dismissive, and annoyed. "I highly doubt either the Council or Alliance Brass will care that I had a bad dream. Especially after the mission went FUBAR. Of course I'd have nightmares about synthetics after seeing the geth destroy a human colony."

"Commander, we don't know what will be relevant right now," Dr. Chakwas argued as the door to the med-bay opened.

"How's our XO holding up, Doctor?" Captain Anderson's firm, baritone voice rang out from the entry as both Kaidan and Shepard moved to stand at attention. Kaidan couldn't be sure about the Doctor but he felt grateful for the Captain's appearance.

"All the readings look normal. I'd say the Commander's going to be fine," Dr. Chakwas announced closing her omni-tool and looking to the Captain.

"Glad to hear it. Shepard, I need to speak with you, in private," Anderson announced with a pointed glance at the Doctor and Kaidan.

"Aye, aye, Captain," He answered before turning his gaze to the Commander. "I'll be in the mess if you need me." Kaidan felt Shepard's gaze follow him and the Doctor out of the room. The door closed behind him and he sighed still feeling wound up. He knew he wouldn't be able to close himself in his sleeper pod and fall asleep right away so he took Dr. Chakwas's advice and headed over to the food counter to make himself some of her tea. He hoped it would do what she promised and help him fall asleep within a reasonable time. He was surprised at how relieved he felt when Shepard woke, and the fact that she'd absolved him of any responsibility. He still felt liable for losing the beacon, and he doubted anything she could have said would have made him feel better about it.

Once his tea had steeped he took it to the table in the mess. He heard the med-bay doors open and glanced over his shoulder. Captain Anderson went to his cabin and Shepard stopped for a second and looked around before finding him. She headed towards him and he stood to greet her. "Commander," He started and she waved him off.

"Please, just Shepard," She insisted, shaking her head.

"Alright, Shepard," He corrected himself before continuing. "I'm glad to see you're okay," He offered with a nod and she gave him a thankful smile. She seemed a little more relaxed after her conversation with Anderson, and Kaidan was glad to see it. She shouldn't blame herself entirely for the mission when Intel dropped the ball.

"How are you holding up? Things were pretty rough down there," She inquired pulling out a chair from the table and gesturing for him to join her.

He pulled out his own chair and sat while answering, "Yeah, you never get used to seeing dead civilians. Doesn't seem right, somehow, you know?" They were sitting side by side at the table. She dropped her eyes to her hands where she was worrying a torn cuticle. She remained silent, and he wondered where she was at that moment, because she certainly didn't seem like she was on the Normandy. "But at least you stopped Saren from wiping out the whole colony," He reminded her, trying to reel her in.

She didn't answer for almost a full minute. "We," She corrected, her head tilted to the side and she looked up at him. He cocked his head at her not sure what she meant. She explained, "_We_ stopped Saren from wiping out the whole colony. I couldn't have done it without you."

"We're marines, we stick together," He reminded her, simply. "I'm just… I'm sorry we lost Jenkins." He looked away from her this time. It was still hard for him to believe it had been just the day before that he had tossed the young man into the wall. It was never easy to lose a squad mate, but to lose someone so fresh and full of ambition was simply tragic. At least veteran soldiers knew the score going in. Jenkins had still held on to his youthful ignorance. He'd been secure in the knowledge that he was invincible – until he wasn't. Shepard and Kaidan's histories had already shown them that wasn't the case.

"Yeah, I … fuck I wish I could have done something to save him," She stated, her voice gentle. "I hate losing soldiers under my command." A deep sigh lifted her shoulders and she roughly rubbed her hands over her face. Her skin was flushed when she dropped her hands back to the table.

"I was there, you did… everything right. It was just… I don't know bad luck," He offered looking back to her. She made a face, like she appreciated the sentiment, even if she didn't agree with him. He sipped his tea and tried not to study her expressions as she thought. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

After a minute she looked up at him, "I hear Anderson had Williams reassigned. He said you vouched for her?" She asked, and he nodded. "Good. I'm glad we both saw her potential. With the right leadership, and some experience under her belt she'll make an excellent officer candidate."

"She survived. Sometimes that's the hardest thing to do," He said and she nodded looking back down to her hands. He sipped his tea, giving her a moment before continuing. "It's been a hell of a shakedown cruise. Our first mission ends with one Spectre killing another. The Citadel Council's not going to be happy about that. Probably use it to lever more concessions out of the Alliance."

She seemed surprised when she looked up at him. "You've got a good grasp on the situation. You a career man?" She asked, avoiding the topic of her own recommendation to the elite group. She seemed glad to speak of something aside from the mission.

"Yeah, I'm sure you know, a lot of biotics are. I mean, we're not restricted, but we sure don't go undocumented," She nodded with a shrug of her eyebrows as he spoke and he liked that she was actually listening to him. A lot of his COs in the past would make conversation, and then let themselves get distracted with something more pressing. Joker was right. She did want to know her crew. He continued, "May as well get a paycheck for it. Besides, my father served. When I finally enlisted, he said it made him proud," He paused. "Is that why you're here? Your family?"

"Nah, we were farmers on Mindoir. My younger brother had wanted to enlist when he was of age. He hated the colony life, felt trapped. I imagine he would have been a lot like Jenkins," A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth when she spoke of her family. She let the silence stretch for a minute and took a deep breath as the smile disappeared and she continued, "I'm the only one left now but, that's… I've moved passed that."

"Oh, right," He paused, feeling unsure how to keep the conversation going after touching on such a personal, obviously sensitive subject. He finished his tea, "Scuttlebutt says we're heading for the Citadel, Ma'am. Can you tell me why?"

"Ma'am? Didn't we cover this on Arcturus?" She said with a slight smile, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

He laughed softly, and her smile widened. "Right, sorry, Ma-" He stopped himself and let his breath escape before correcting himself, "Shepard."

She chuckled quietly, "Well, I don't know why the crew can't steer scuttlebutt topics away from the mission and focus on the juicy personal dramatics that keep the worlds turning," She sighed, and looked up at him. She was quiet again, clearly deciding whether or not to divulge the information. Her eyes were so clear and open in their scrutiny. It was unnerving. "Captain wants to brief the Council. He's hoping the Ambassador can get an audience with them, so we can tell them what Saren's been up to."

He was glad she'd felt she could trust him, and hoped he would continue to prove worthy of it. "Well, that makes sense. I mean, I'm sure they'd like to know he's not working for them anymore,'' He acknowledged, hoping she knew it would remain between the two of them. He assumed she did, or perhaps she was testing him to see if this would end up in the rumors circling the ship. He stifled a yawn. The Doctor's tea was doing its job. He was glad she didn't notice as she continued talking.

"So," She started almost sounding timid, which seemed oddly out of character for her, "Got any advice on how to act in front of an Ambassador, or the Council? I don't meet many politicians." She reached behind her head and with the tug of a few pins her hair fell from its bun, which had been messed by the events of the day. She ran her fingers through it. Kaidan caught a familiar scent in the air as she did. It was soft, floral, and almost sweet and there was a note in it that reminded him of something. He just couldn't place it. He cleared his throat when she made eye contact again.

"An Ambassador?" He contemplated for a second. "Honestly, I just follow standard operational procedure: Salute anything you can eat or kill," He offered and smiled when she laughed.

"Good advice," She said the smile lingering. "Well, when we get done with business, you and I should review the liberty rotation. Get the crew's schedules all straightened out," She suggested as she slid her chair back from the table.

"Sounds like a good idea. I know some of the crew could use it," He agreed. He'd worked on the schedule before Eden Prime but they were still awaiting her approval.

A comfortable silence fell over the pair, and Kaidan couldn't stop the yawn this time. With a soft smile she glanced at her 'tool. "It's getting late, L.T., or early, really," She sighed and bit her lip. "You should get a couple hours shut eye. It'll be awhile until we dock and I want you fresh when he hit the Citadel."

"Aye, aye, Ma'am," He said, and shot him an exasperated glance. He chuckled as he spoke. "Sorry, Shepard. It's going to take a little getting used to," He admitted, sheepishly. He was a creature of habit and not one to ignore propriety.

"I suppose there are worse things you could call me," She smiled and wished him a good night before heading towards the stairs that would take her to the Bridge. As she went, she pinned her hair back up. He noticed her gait change just before she hit the stairs. She was officially back in work mode. He was glad she'd allowed herself the time to unwind before getting back to work. He wanted to believe that she had chosen him to spend that time with, but the truth is he was the only one awake, aside from Joker.

He sighed as he stood and disposed of the mug from his tea. He went to his personals locker outside the med bay and stored the rest of the tea as he grabbed his bag for the showers. A quick shower, wash off the day and he'd get some rest for the morning cycle. He sincerely hoped the Council would see that Eden Prime wasn't Shepard's fault and give them the support they needed to stop Saren and the geth. He promised himself he wouldn't make another stupid mistake. He promised himself he wouldn't let her down again. Now that he knew how much this mission would affect her, specifically, he felt the urge to make sure it was a success even more than before. He told himself it was because she was a respected soldier, a Spectre candidate and the brightest example humanity had to show the rest of galactic society what an Alliance Soldier could achieve; and not the fact that he was attracted to her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** Thank you to those who followed the story, or added it to their favorites. Not much to say on this one, it is a bit longer than the first five. I hope you all enjoy. I would really **love** to hear what you're thinking so far, so, please leave me a **review** and let me know. Enjoy. **- TLC**

* * *

Chapter Six

Early the next morning, Kaidan found Ashley in the mess staring down at her plate of food. He hadn't spoken to her since they'd returned to the ship with Shepard's unconscious form. He made himself a quick breakfast before joining her at the table. "Morning, LT," She offered, sitting up straighter in her seat and resuming her meal.

"Morning, Chief," He answered simply and watched her out of his periphery as they ate in a comfortable silence. She was an attractive woman. She was tall and slim with broad shoulders and well-rounded hips. She had a model's figure, but a soldier's strength. Her dark brown eyes, much darker than Kaidan's own, hid an intelligent wit, an easy humor. Her full lips seemed to smile effortlessly and Kaidan had to wonder just what she could hide behind it. She'd been slightly reserved and quiet since joining the crew. He had no idea what it was like to lose an entire unit, and even less an idea what he could say to her to ease the pain. "How are you liking the Normandy?" He asked simply trying to start a -conversation, get a sense of the Chief.

"I have to admit, I was a little nervous about the assignment; especially considering the circumstances. Everyone has been very welcoming though, which is nice," She admitted as she pushed her food around her plate. "I'm glad the Commander pulled through. I bet the crew could use some good news after … Jenkins," Her voice was soft, withdrawn. He opened his mouth to respond but she sighed and dropped her fork before he could. "Truthfully, I feel guilty being here and I hate feeling that way. I mean, if Jenkins were still alive, I wouldn't be here." He was surprised at her candor, but only momentarily. He had the impression she didn't have a problem speaking her mind.

"Listen, Williams, Jenkins was a valuable part of this crew, but there is not one person assigned to this ship who isn't valuable. Of course, Jenkins will be missed but don't let that take away from the fact that you earned your spot here. The Commander and I wouldn't have made it back to the Normandy without your help. If anyone in the Alliance knows the kind of strength and will it takes to survive what you did, it's Commander Shepard." He finished as he resumed his meal. She was staring at him, and then she sighed.

"Thanks, LT," She offered with a smile as she took a bite of her military grade eggs and sausage. It was quiet for a moment as they tried to enjoy their rations. She commented on the amount of food his rations provided him. He explained simply that a biotic's metabolism was faster than average and they tended to eat more. "So, have you known the Commander long?" She asked casually as she finished up her breakfast.

"No, this is our first assignment together," Kaidan answered and Ashley nodded. They spoke a little more of their histories, past assignments and experience. Kaidan had taken the time this morning to review her file. It was clean; a few commendations and relatively high test scores, with postings that may have been considered beneath her. "You know, with your record, I'm surprised you haven't advanced further, if you don't mind my saying so."

"I appreciate that," Ashley answered, averting her eyes without elaborating. Kaidan took the hint. It seemed everyone on this ship was valuable, and everyone had their own demons. They finished their meal in amicable silence that was only interrupted when Joker's voice rang out over the comm that they were just a few minutes out from the Citadel. "You going to come check out the view?" Ashley asked as they cleared the table. With a nod, Kaidan and Ashley fell into step together and made their way to the Bridge.

Kaidan was not surprised to see Commander Shepard already in the cockpit standing over Joker's shoulder as they approached the station. They made eye contact briefly before Joker spoke, "You're just in time." Kaidan moved to the co-pilot's chair and Shepard kept her spot behind Joker while Ashley moved to look out the port side.

The Citadel was as large as it was beautiful. It gleamed silver against the sky. The station is shaped almost like a five-petaled flower, consisting of a central ring with five protruding arms. For protection, the arms can close on itself transforming the station into a long, invulnerable cylinder. This only happens in times of emergency; typically, the station stays open. The central ring is home to the Presidium, and the Wards can be found on each of the five arms. The Citadel is the capital of the Council space, the center of galactic government and is constantly protected by the Citadel fleet.

"That ship is enormous!" Ashley exclaimed as they circled the station, allowing the crew to get a good view.

"That's the Ascension. It's the head of the fleet," Kaidan stated, awe tinting his voice at the sight of the Asari dreadnaught. The Citadel Fleet was charged with protecting the Council itself in the case of an emergency. Kaidan hazarded a glance towards Shepard. The lights of the holographic, artificial sky danced across her features and the blue of her eyes sparkled as she watched in wonder. He was reminded of the first time he left Earth. The hope he had for what he would see, and how quickly that hope was crushed once he got there.

"Well, size isn't everything," Joker commented under his breath as he pulled the ship around and made his way towards the center ring and the docking bay.

"Why so touchy Joker?" Ashley teased, twisting her body to look at the pilot who was grinning. Kaidan smirked as he glanced up at Shepard again. She had chuckled softly but didn't take her eyes off the station.

"I'm not touchy, I'm just saying, you need fire power, too," Joker answered matter-of-factly, letting the innuendo roll off his back.

"I'm sorry, have you seen its main gun? It could rip through the barriers of any ship in the Alliance fleet," Ashley defended her enthusiasm as she moved to stand next to Shepard behind Joker. Kaidan had to agree with her.

"Not my ship, I mean, not the Normandy," Joker answered defensively, "It would have to catch her first." Ashely conceded that point to Joker before he reached out over the comm, "Citadel control, this is SSV Normandy. Requesting permission to land."

"Alright, Williams, Alenko, get down and get your gear. The Captain wants us to go with him to see the Ambassador. Meet me at the airlock in 10," She ordered and Ashley and Kaidan were quick to salute and head down towards their lockers.

It hadn't taken them long to find the office of the human ambassador, Donnel Udina. Captain Anderson was already there and Shepard took her spot behind him and to his right as Kaidan and Ashley moved to take in the view of the Presidium while eavesdropping on the Ambassador's call to the Council.

"This is an outrage!" Ambassador Udina roared at the Council, and Kaidan couldn't help but think he was handling this the wrong way. You catch more flies with honey. "The Council would step in if the geth attached a Turian colony!"

"The Turians don't found colonies on the borders of the Terminus Systems, Ambassador," The Salarian Councilor, Valern, replied. His tone betraying his annoyance with the Ambassador. Even though the conversation was happening over the comm, and Udina was only speaking to holograms of the Council, the Salarian's eyes still reminded him of the old sci-fi vids he'd enjoyed as a kid. Before getting out here, when humans thought of aliens, they pictured something more like a Salarian than an Asari.

The Asari's are almost human-looking; female human as the Asari are mono-gendered. Their skin tone runs from blue to purple, and sometimes, though rarely, teal. Instead of hair crowning their heads they have semi-flexible, cartilage based, scalp crests that grow back off their heads. Asari are considered attractive by most species in the galaxy and, though Kaidan didn't understand how, they can mate and reproduce with any species. Though the offspring will always be Asari.

The Salarians are amphibians and bipedal. Their frames are tall and their elongated bodies are well-suited for their high metabolism. Salarian heads are long and thin with a pair of horns at the top of their skulls. Their skin varies in color but they are commonly blue or grey. Their eyes are large and oval with thin membranes in lieu of eyelids. The pupils are a wide horizontal slit, and they blink upwards, rather than downwards as humans do. They have no nose, and no lips; their mouths are a long horizontal slit, and every Salarian Kaidan has ever seen, always looks like they are frowning.

The Asari and the Salarians were the first two species to find the Citadel, and they joined with the Turians to form the Council. The Asari have extensive life spans, most will live over one thousand human years. The Turian's life span is about the same as a human, while the Salarians mature much faster due to their metabolisms and to find a Salarian older than forty human years is rare.

"That's right. Humanity was well aware of the risks when you went into the Traverse," The Asari Councilor, Tevos, added in, her tone soft, like a mother gently scolding a child who had burned their hand on a hot stove. It was as if she was sorry you were hurt but, damn it, she told you so. Kaidan could feel the tension rolling off of Shepard and he looked over his shoulder at her. Her hands were balled at her sides, and her biotics were reacting to her anger. He was surprised that she was so affected, but impressed that she could contain it. The power he felt from her was substantial. Anderson placed a hand on her shoulder, and she seemed to calm down. The gesture intrigued him. It seemed more intimate than it should have been, and Kaidan found himself wondering about their history.

"What about Saren?" Udina asked, his tone resigned. "You can't just ignore a rogue Spectre," as if a light bulb went on over his head, his voice raised again, "I demand action!" Kaidan clenched his jaw, he could see why the Council had such a poor opinion of humans. Politicians had never been the most positive example of humanity.

The Turian Councilor, Sparatus, answered him, his two toned voice condescending at best, "You don't get to make demands of the Council, Ambassador."

Tevos broke in to avoid an escalated argument, "Citadel Security is investigating your charges against Saren. We will discuss the C-Sec findings at the hearing, not before." Her tone was matter of fact and dismissive. She ended the call immediately. Their holographic images fading away, and Ambassador Udina turned to address Anderson and his crew for the first time since they entered the room. Ashley and Kaidan turned to join in the conversation now that the call had ended.

Ambassador Udina had the unfortunate luck of resembling a rodent. His facial features were pinched close, nose long and almost hooked. He had deep set, dark eyes full of determination and entitlement. His hair was graying, and receding. His lips were thin and pressed together as if relaxing would cause his face to fall apart. He was just about as tall as Kaidan but had a smaller frame. It was clear this man had never worn armor or held a weapon in his delicate, small hand. He reached out and shook the Captain's large, calloused hand as he greeted him, "Captain Anderson, I see you brought half your crew with you."

"Just the ground team from Eden Prime, in case you had any questions," Anderson responded gesturing to the trio as they took a step forward together.

"I have the mission reports," Udina responded, his voice was nasally and grated on Kaidan's nerves. "I assume they're accurate."

"They are," Anderson nodded, "Sounds like you convinced the Council to give us an audience."

"They were not happy about it," Udina snapped turning away from them for a moment, and pinching the bridge of his nose. He turned back and his brow was creased and he looked almost as if he had a bad taste in his mouth. Kaidan had to be honest, this whole conversation was leaving a bitter taste in his own mouth. "Saren's their top agent. They don't like him being accused of treason."

Kaidan jumped a little when Shepard spoke, her voice was harder than he'd ever heard it, and pure anger laced every word. "This is just like Mindoir."

"Excuse me, Commander?" Udina snapped and Anderson turned to her. He held his hand up, telling her to hold her tongue, but it was as if she couldn't keep the words in.

"I said, this is just like Mindoir. A human colony is attacked and the Council blames the victims instead of working to protect us. Saren is a threat to every human colony and he needs to be stopped," She stated firmly. He knew, in that instant, that it was intentional when she let her biotics flare and ripple over her form. He bit back a smile at the fear that flashed in Udina's eyes before he spoke.

"Settle down, Commander. You've already done more than enough to jeopardize your candidacy for the Spectres. The mission on Eden Prime was a chance to prove you could get the job done. Instead, Nihlus ended up dead-"

"I know what happened on Eden Prime," She interrupted him, her tone deep and menacing. Kaidan saw, now, where her reputation came from and he was glad he was on this side of her. In the span of a few seconds, she had somehow grown taller and larger, filling the room with her presence.

"- and the beacon was destroyed!" Udina finished, his own anger bubbling near the surface.

"That's Saren's fault! Not hers!" Anderson shouted moving to stand between the two. "We're on the same side here. We need to work together to ensure the Council believes us about Saren and guarantee Shepard is made a Spectre."

"Screw being a Spectre! I don't want to be the right hand to those assholes! This is fuckin ridiculous! If they won't stand behind humanity when we are being attacked outright why should we want to work with them?" Shepard shouted and Kaidan took an involuntary step back. The energy from her was igniting his own biotics, and he could feel the energy running through him. If it wasn't for the extreme control he had over his abilities, he might have flared in response to her.

"How do you think we're going to get that respect?" It was Anderson's turn to shout at both of them. "We're not going to get anywhere butting heads with each other or making asinine demands of the council. We wouldn't denounce one of our own agents based on someone's word without proof. How can we expect them to?" Kaidan was suddenly very glad for Anderson's presence and cool, even temper in the room. He was surprised at how quickly Shepard stepped back and bit her tongue. He exchanged an unamused glance with Ashley.

As Udina spoke, Shepard turned her back to him and brought a hand to her brow, "Then we better hope the C-Sec investigation turns up some evidence to support our accusations. Otherwise, the Council might use this as an excuse to keep you out of the Spectres." She dropped her hand and her anger flared, but before she could turn around, her heated gaze locked on Kaidan's. He wasn't sure what she saw there, but she kept his gaze and took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He watched her calm down, her anger ebbed away and she slowly turned around to face the Ambassador, staying brilliantly silent. Udina asked Anderson to stay behind to speak with him privately, and Kaidan could tell they were being dismissed. They were directed to meet them at the Citadel Tower.

"That's why I hate politicians," Ashley muttered as they left his office, just loud enough for Udina to overhear but quiet enough that she could deny having said anything. As they left the office, Shepard looked over at Ashley and smiled. Shepard rolled her shoulders, and stretched her neck from side to side. They were walking for a minute before Ashley spoke again, "You alright, Ma'am? It got a little… tense in there."

She didn't answer right away, just kept her eyes forward as they made their way around to the Citadel Tower. "Yeah, I'm fine," She answered shortly. "I get a little sensitive when colonies are involved. Anderson's right. I've got to keep my head clear." She was speaking to them, in answer to Ashley's question, but it was clear she was reprimanding herself. She let out a deep breath as they reached the elevator at the base of the tower. Kaidan noticed a slight tremble in her hand as she pushed the call button. Immediately, her hands balled and she dropped them to her sides. He looked up to her face, and saw the tension in her features.

"You weren't wrong, Ma'am," Ashley offered as they waited. Shepard closed her eyes and bit her lip without turning to look at them.

"Maybe not, but I handled it wrong," She sighed. "I just want to get this over with and get back to work. Saren is out there getting a larger head start the longer we sit here and pander to the politicians," The elevator arrived and they stepped on and rode it to the top level. The elevator was quiet, and Kaidan could feel the anxiety level rise as they did. They stepped off the elevator and found the top floor of the Tower to be the most luxurious space they'd seen yet. It was a large open area, dimly lit, with flowing fountains and cherry trees. The scent of the cherry blossoms filled the area as they made their way around. They came upon two Turians in a heated discussion and at the mention of Saren's name, Shepard gave the signal to stop and Ashley and Kaidan did, with no question.

When the conversation they had eavesdropped on ended, one Turian turned towards them, "Commander Shepard. I'm Garrus Vakarian with C-Sec," He introduced himself and Shepard nodded at him. They spoke briefly about Garrus's investigation into Saren and how he had not had enough time to get the evidence needed. Garrus wished them luck after Kaidan reminded her the Council hearing would be starting. She nodded at Kaidan, and then at Garrus before making her way towards the Council. Ashley commented on the number of stairs that had to climb to reach the council, then noted it was probably to make it more defensible than anything else. They met Anderson near the top.

"The hearing has already started, come on," He nodded over his shoulder and turned to lead them up the stairs. A look passed between Anderson and Shepard that Kaidan couldn't help but notice and his curiosity piqued again. As they reached the top of the stairs, the Council members came into view, in corporeal form this time. Kaidan noticed the hatred flash in Shepard's eyes when her gaze moved to the holographic form of Saren who was smiling arrogantly down at them. Her jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed as she bit her tongue and watched the hearing unfold.

"The geth attack is a matter of _some_ concern, but there is nothing to indicate Saren was involved in anyway," Tevos spoke softly, attempting to maintain the false calm over the occupants of the room. Sparatus confirmed what Garrus had already told them, that the C-Sec investigation turned up no evidence.

"An eyewitness saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood!" Udina shouted back at them, and Kaidan winced. Apparently, they were going to bang their heads against the Council's walls until they bled. They'd failed; they hadn't obtained the necessary evidence.

Valern responded simply, his tone cool and words quick as he turned his large, black eyes towards the Ambassador, "We've read the Eden Prime reports, Ambassador. The testimony of one traumatized dockworker is hardly compelling proof."

"I resent these accusations. Nihlus was a fellow Spectre, and a friend," Saren's voice was deep, and saccharine. Kaidan cringed when he spoke.

"That just let you catch him off guard!" Anderson shouted back, surprising Kaidan and Ashley made a flinching noise under her breath.

"Ah, Captain Anderson," His voice was smug, and Kaidan's jaw clenched in response. "It's been awhile. Suddenly, it's all makes sense. Of course you're here. You're always involved when humanity makes false charges against me. This must be your protégé, Commander Shepard," Her name was a sneer, and Kaidan involuntarily balled his fists at his sides with the effort to remain quiet. "The one who let the beacon get destroyed."

Shepard's voice was low and threatening, "You destroyed the beacon, and then tried to cover it up." He could feel the restraint she used to keep from shouting as she glared at him.

Saren chuckled, "I see Captain Anderson taught you well. Shifting the blame to cover your own failures. Typical. I would expect nothing else from a human. Your species needs to learn its place, Shepard. You're not ready to join the Council. You're not even ready to join the Spectres!"

The condescension in tone was more than Udina could handle. He turned his attention back to the Council, "He has no right to say that! That is not his decision!" Kaidan shook his head gently, and looked to Ashley who rolled her eyes.

Tevos broke in, ever the mediator, "Shepard's admission into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting," She reminded them and Shepard's shoulders rose and fell with a sigh.

"This meeting has no purpose," Saren muttered, his mandibles flaring, "The humans are wasting your time, Councilors, and mine."

Shepard turned her icy gaze to the Spectre, "You can't hide behind the council forever." There was no doubt it was a threat, or a promise. Kaidan felt his confidence rise with her tone. She wouldn't stop, no matter what the Council decided. She turned her attention back to the Councilors, as Saren huffed. "You need to open your eyes."

"What we need," Valern snapped, "is evidence. So far, we have seen nothing."

Anderson spoke up and Shepard groaned quietly, Kaidan had a feeling he knew what was coming, and he could understand Shepard's hesitation at mentioning this. Anderson shot her a look before continuing, "There is still one outstanding issue: Commander Shepard's vision. It may have been triggered by the beacon."

Saren scoffed, "Are we allowing dreams into evidence now? How can I defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?"

Sparatus spoke up, "I agree. Our judgment must be based on facts and evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculation."

Valern turned his attention to Shepard, and asked if she had anything to add. She scowled at Saren, knowing this had been a colossal waste, "You've made your decision. I wouldn't want to waste any more of your time, or my breath." She snapped, disgust tainting every word.

Tevos looked to both Valern and Sparatus before speaking, "The Council has found no evidence of any connection between Saren and the geth. Ambassador, your petition to have him disbarred from the Spectres is denied." Her word was final.

"I'm glad to see justice was served," Saren stated, and for the first time turned his attention to Ashley, his mandibles flared again before his hologram winked out. It almost sounded like Ashley growled, and Kaidan reached out and took her wrist to bring her attention back where it needed to be. She looked to him, her eyes blazing. If Saren had read the Eden Prime reports, he would have known they'd picked up a survivor. He was a Spectre, he had to have known Ashley was it. Thankfully, Tevos spoke adjourning the meeting. The humans left behind turned towards each other after walking down a flight of stairs.

"It was a mistake bringing you into that hearing, Captain. You and Saren have too much history. It made the Council question our motives," Udina sighed scrubbing a hand over his face. Shepard started to speak on behalf of her mentor, when Anderson held up a hand.

"I know Saren. He's working with the geth for one reason: to exterminate the entire human race. Every colony we have is at risk. Every world we control is in danger. Earth isn't safe!" Anderson argued. Ashley asked about his history with Saren, and Shepard's cold gaze moved to her before telling her now was not the time.

"We need to deal with Saren ourselves," Shepard declared shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She was clearly anxious to stop standing around. They took a few minutes to discuss their options, which were limited due to his Spectre status. It was decided they would search out Garrus, to see what he knew. Though, they wouldn't be able to go through standard channels. Anderson directed Shepard to meet with a disgraced C-Sec contact who would be found drowning his sorrows at Chora's Den, a seedy bar in the lower wards.

It was also decided that Shepard would handle the investigation. Udina wanted Anderson's hands and history off any evidence they found. Captain Anderson looked to Shepard who had concern written on her features, "Go get the evidence we need. You don't need me to get this done. You've got this. Bring whatever you can find to the Ambassador's office. That's where I'll be." She nodded, snapped to attention and saluted him. He let a proud smile pull at the corners of his mouth and returned the salute. He turned on his heel then, and walked away.

Shepard turned to her crew. "You heard the Captain. Move out."

"I can't believe they sidelined him," Ashley commented to Kaidan as they followed Shepard through the Wards towards Chora's Den. They had certainly entered the poorer section of the Citadel, and Kaidan realized it was more than just a space station. It had an economy and a social structure of its own. Kaidan glanced to Shepard's back as she led them, but he didn't respond to the Chief's comment. "I mean, there must have been a reason. He didn't even put up a fight."

"He has a history with Saren," Shepard said around a sigh as she slowed her step, allowing Kaidan and Ashley to flank her as they continued walking. She paused in her words without breaking her stride. "That's all I'm going to say about it. It's a private matter and if the Captain wants to share it with you, he will. It's his story," Shepard dictated and Ashley's questions fell silent. Kaidan was more curious than ever as to the Commander's relationship with their Captain. Like she said, however, it was private and not his place to ask.

They reached Chora's Den and, as they turned the corner, a shot rang out. The three marines dropped into cover. They waited for a break in the gunfire, eyes on Shepard. An eerie silence filled the area seconds before Shepard stood from behind the low concrete wall and hit one of the assassins with a biotic throw tossing them against the opposite wall. Kaidan activated his omni-tool and, remaining in cover, sabotaged the other's rifle allowing Ashley to take him out with a clean shot to the center of his chest. Shepard was glowing blue as Kaidan checked his 'tool for other hostiles in the area. "All clear," He announced as he stood, without looking up from his 'tool.

Shepard continued to glow as she calmed down from the surprise attack. She opened her omni'tool as she directed her team, "Williams, notify C-Sec. Alenko, check the bodies. I need to know if this was random or…" Her voice trailed off as her attention turned to the call she had placed, and she turned her back to them. Kaidan moved over to their fallen attackers. It didn't take him long to hack the simple security on the thugs omni'tools, and even less time to find the information he was looking for. He moved over to Shepard, and Ashley met him at her side. He noticed Anderson was on the other end of her 'tool's comm. "What did you find?" She asked him as the first C-Sec agents arrived on the scene.

"Mercenaries, someone put out a hit on you," Kaidan answered, his voice grim as her eyes darkened angrily.

She turned her attention back to Anderson when he spoke from her wrist, "My guess would be Saren. Watch yourself, Shepard," He ordered before promising her he would handle the paperwork with C-Sec and told her to keep looking. She acknowledged his order and ended the call.

"Well, Dad always said, if no one's shooting at you, you're not doing it right," Ashley commented. Shepard turned her eyes towards the entrance to the club and motioned for them to follow. If she found Ashley's aside humorous, she didn't show it. They stowed their weapons and made their way inside the club.

Kaidan was instantly assaulted by the fluorescent lighting and pounding beat of the music. If they spent too much time here, he was sure to end up with a migraine. It was the reason he avoided places like these. He looked around, there was a bar in the center of the club and tables scattered around the perimeter. At each table, there were a few chairs and an asari dancer, scantily clad and moving slowly and seductively to the music. He cleared his throat as his eyes drifted over the dancers. "I can see why this place is so popular, it's got quite the uh, view," Kaidan commented absently as they made their way around the bar, checking for Harkin.

Shepard's brow creased and she looked at him out of the corner of her eye for a brief second before Ashley spoke, "Hey, LT, pick your tongue up off the floor before you trip over it," She paused for a second, "Figures, we're a million light years away from Earth and we can still walk into a night club where men ogle over women shaking their asses on stage. I can't tell if that's funny or sad."

"What? You don't think they're here for the food?" Kaidan asked, his tone teasing.

"Enough," Shepard snapped, and Kaidan's gaze shot to her. She was still in front of them, and her head was turned slightly so he was looking at her profile. She seemed annoyed at their conversation, and Ashley and Kaidan both offered apologies before falling in line behind her. She gave the signal to stop, and turned towards them making it appear they were in a group and having a discussion as she listened to two Krogan arguing near the back offices. Apparently, the owner of the club had gotten himself into trouble with some mercenaries. It wasn't until after the Krogan conversation was over that they continued their search for Harkin.

They found him sitting at a back table surrounded by half a dozen empty bottles and another in his hand. Kaidan watched as Harkin's dark, drunken gaze traveled from Shepard's toes, and ended on her face. He licked his lips, and his grin was predatory when he spoke, "Hey, sweetheart, why don't you pull up a chair and sit that perfect little ass next to old Harkin here, and we'll see what kind of fun we can have tonight," His voice was slurred and sleazy. She placed her hand on her hip and shifted so her hip was cocked to her right. She looked confident and in control, and never sexier.

"Not a chance, Harkin. I'm here for information not fun, and I hear you might have the information I need," She stated, her voice firm, but not cold. Kaidan felt the disgust curdle in his core at the way Harkin was staring at her, his eyes trailing openly over her form and lingering at her curves.

"I think we can work out an… arrangement," He said leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looking up at her. He reached his hand out towards her hip and without thinking Kaidan flared his biotics, his entire frame sheathed in blue at the same instant Ashley pulled out and cocked her pistol. Harkin raised his hands and sat back in his seat.

"Me too, you give me the information and you get to leave with your balls attached," She threatened and Harkin scrubbed a hand over his face and passed his receding hairline to scratch his head.

"What do you want?" He asked, lifting his drink to his lips.

"Where can I find Garrus Vakarian?" Shepard asked and Kaidan discharged the energy while Ashley stowed her pistol.

"Vakarian, huh? You must be part of Anderson's crew. Crazy bastard's still trying to bring Saren down. Alright, Princess, I know where Garrus is but first you have to tell me. Did the Captain let you in on his little secret?" Harkin sneered. Kaidan and Ashley exchanged a glance.

"Call me Princess again, and you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor. Stop jerkin me around, Harkin," Shepard demanded again, her eyes narrowing.

"Fine, fine. You crazy bitch, I'll tell you where Garrus is, but before I do you should know, they were going to make Anderson a Spectre about twenty years ago. He says Saren fucked it up for him and has had a personal vendetta…"

Shepard interrupted him with her pistol against his forehead, "Vakarian?" Harkin glared at her, clearly not appreciating the threat. He swallowed hard.

"He was sniffing around Dr. Michel's office. She runs the med clinic on the other side of the wards. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to finish my drink in peace," He snarled and Shepard stowed her weapon and turned on her heel to head back out the exit with Kaidan and Ashley following. Shepard hadn't seemed as surprised by Harkin's claim as he had been. Anderson was to be a Spectre? He could understand now why the Council would find it hard to believe them about Saren with Anderson involved, if Harkin was telling the truth.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** I try to post at least once a week, but I am on vacation this week and was able to get more writing done than I had expected, so here's an extra chapter. Please leave me a review and let me know what you're thinking so far. I would love to hear it. Thanks, and enjoy. **- TLC**

* * *

Chapter Seven

"Excuse me, Ma'am," Ashley spoke up once they had left the club. "About what Harkin said… about Anderson," They walked towards the transit station to call for a taxi to take them to Dr. Michel's Med Clinic, and Kaidan could sense Shepard's tension at Ashley's questions. Part of him wanted Ashley to drop it, a larger part of him was just as curious as she was.

"Captain," Shepard snapped her correction before sighing. "It's _Captain_ Anderson…" She sighed and turned to face the pair. "Listen, it was close to twenty years ago, when Ambassador Goyle was our representative here on the Citadel. Like Udina, she wanted a human in the Spectres and she chose Anderson. The Council sent Saren to keep an eye on him and to evaluate him, just like they sent Nihlus to keep tabs on me," She paused and her gaze bounced between Ashley and Kaidan. She was conflicted, not sure if she should tell them. She sighed and locked eyes with Kaidan. Her voice was soft when she continued, "It's not something he's proud of. He was in my place and Saren made sure he failed."

"I think, with everything going on, maybe we should hear the whole story. It might help us understand why the Council is so reluctant to trust us," Kaidan urged gently. He meant that, but he was selfishly hoping this would shed some light on their relationship which he was having so much trouble getting a read on.

"I agree," Shepard nodded and reached a hand up to rub the back of her neck. "The Alliance had intel on a rogue scientist being funded by Batarians. The scientist was trying to set up a facility to develop illegal AI technology out in the Verge. Now, Alliance Intel had done all the work, but the Council wanted a Spectre involved. So they compromised and Anderson was assigned to help Saren in his investigation. They tracked the scientist to a refining facility on Camala. He was hidden inside, protected by an army of Batarian mercenaries. All they had to do was sneak into the plant, capture the scientist and sneak back out; quick, quiet with minimal bloodshed. They split up to cover more ground. About halfway through the mission, there was a massive explosion in the refinery core. Officially, it was ruled an accident, but Anderson believes Saren detonated it on purpose to draw off the enemy guards," Shepard dictated as if she'd been reading it from a report.

"How many casualties?" Ashley asked, her arms crossed over her chest as she listened to Anderson's story.

"The explosion tore the refinery to shreds. The whole place burned and chemical clouds poured into the atmosphere. Nobody inside survived. On top of that, there was a camp for the workers and their families nearby. Between the fires and the toxic fumes, the final death count was over five hundred," Shepard paused at Ashley's low whistle, "Mostly civilians and Saren didn't care. The target was eliminated. Mission accomplished. Anderson ended up taking the blame, and that ended all talk of him joining the Spectres." Shepard's face was grim as she went over the details.

"How did Anderson get blamed?" Kaidan asked softly, and her eyes met his before she continued. He still couldn't tell what their relationship was, but it was clearly very important to her.

"In his report, Saren accused Anderson of blowing his cover. He said it was Anderson's fault the guards were ready; claimed that's why it turned into the massacre it was. Saren's report was all the proof the Council needed," Shepard shrugged.

"Why'd Anderson let him get away with it?" Ashley asked, her tone incredulous. Shepard's stare was cold and frustrated when she turned to Ashley.

"Who do you think the Council was going to listen to? Anderson? Or their best agent? It's just like earlier today: no proof. Saren likes the violence and has no qualms with blowing an entire colony to get the job done and destroy any evidence. Don't get me wrong, either, I know sometimes you have to make sacrifices. Sometimes, it's better that 500 people die here so 50,000 can survive other there, but that should always be a last resort. Saren never bothered to look for another option," Shepard said, and Kaidan was reminded of Eden Prime and the charges that had been set before Saren left. He thought of his debriefing with Anderson afterwards, and the recognition that had flashed when he'd told him Saren was there. It was starting to make sense.

"Commander, if you don't mind my asking, how do you know this?" Kaidan asked, unable to control his curiosity any longer. Shepard turned her eyes back to him, and bit her lip. He felt his heart race under her scrutiny. Maybe he shouldn't have asked.

"I have known Captain Anderson for a very long time," She answered, simply. She looked like there was more she wanted to say, but she stopped herself when the taxi pulled up to take them to the Clinic. There were plenty of superiors Kaidan had known for most of his career, he still couldn't imagine them sharing information like that with him. It _was_ personal, _and_ embarrassing, and Kaidan felt a little guilty that he had pressed Shepard to share the story with them.

As the skycar made its way through the wards, he watched the haunted look play on her features and wondered where she went when she looked like that. He knew he should be focusing on the mission but instead he was watching the artificial lights play over her face, lighting up her scars. It didn't take long for the taxi to pull up to the Med Clinic and as they made their way towards the entrance they came to an open spot looking out over the station. It was more like looking at a city scape on Earth, with sky scrapers, a midnight blue sky and the bright lights of windows and sky cars lighting up the streets. It was massive, and breathtaking and all three stopped to take it in. "This place is huge," Kaidan said as he let out a deep breath.

"That your professional opinion, Sir?" Ashley mocked with a chuckle and a smirk as she looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. Shepard came to his rescue before he could reply.

"He's right, Chief. This isn't a station, it's a city," She stated as she followed his gaze, repeating his thoughts from moments before.

"There must be… millions here. It can't be possible to track everyone coming and going," Kaidan commented as he calculated the force necessary to create the gravity needed to keep the station together.

"This makes Jump Zero look like a porta-john and it's the largest deep space station the Alliance has," Ashley commented as she looked back over the view.

"Jump Zero is big, but this is a whole other scale. Look at the ward arms! How do they keep all the mass from flying apart?" Kaidan voiced his thoughts from moments before, sounding a bit like an enthusiastic tech nerd but if Shepard had looked over his test scores, she would know that's exactly what he was. The sheer scale of the station was mind-blowing. They had been on the station all day, but only now did it sink in how grandiose it was.

"The Council represents more races than I thought. No wonder they're careful with newcomers," Shepard noted, absently. Her voice sounding oddly detached from her thoughts.

"They probably just want to keep everything running. It has to be hard keeping all these cultures working together," Kaidan suggested, momentarily coming to the defense of the Council.

"Or maybe they just don't like humans," Ashley accused gravely. Kaidan wondered, not for the first time, where Ashley's distrust of aliens came from. It seemed pretty deep-rooted.

"Why not?" Shepard asked incredulously. Kaidan looked over to her and watched her speak. "We've got oceans, beautiful women, and this emotion called love. According to the old vids, we have everything they want," Shepard stated. Her eyes were bright, and there was a smile playing on her lips for the first time since they met with the Council and Kaidan was struck again by how beautiful she was.

"When you put it that way, there's no reason they wouldn't like you," Kaidan said, and it wasn't until she turned her gaze towards him, the smile still on her face, one sculpted eyebrow raised and a slight blush on her cheeks that he realized just what he had said. He looked away from her, noticed Ashley's shocked expression, and stuttered, "I mean… us - humans, Ma'am."

"You don't take much shore leave, do you, LT?" Ashley teased through her smirk. Kaidan dropped his gaze to his hands on the railing and cursed silently. He was a grown man not some love struck teenager. He choked on the embarrassment as he tried to bury it.

"Alright, laugh it up, Chief," There was a slight chuckle in her voice when she spoke to Ashley before turning her attention back to Kaidan. He could hear the sincerity in her voice and the smile on her face when she gently chided him, "I appreciate the thought, Alenko," He looked to her, and her eyes were warm when they met his, "but we're on duty here."

"Uh… Aye, aye, Ma'am," He answered, and returned the small smile.

"I'll walk drag, Ma'am," Ashley interrupted the moment with a chuckle and Shepard nodded breaking their eye contact and moving to lead them to the clinic. She was a few steps ahead of them when Ashley teased, "Smooth, L.T.," quietly near his ear and turned to glare at her.

"That'll be enough, Chief," He stated reminding her of her rank and she laughed quietly while raising her hands in surrender as they reached the clinic.

The door opened, and the first thing Kaidan noticed was Garrus, crouched low and out of view of the Doctor and the man who held a gun on her. Shepard instantly lifted her pistol as Ashley and Kaidan flanked her. Ashley also had her pistol ready as Kaidan activated his omni-tool and readied a tech attack. The man grabbed the doctor and pointed his gun at Shepard, Kaidan already had the overload ready to go but he waited, "Let her go." Shepard ordered stepping further into the room.

"Who are you?" The man hollered. It was just enough distraction to allow Garrus to stand up and take the headshot, dropping the man easily. Ashley and Shepard turned their guns on the other thugs in the room, making quick work of them before going to check on the Doctor.

"Thanks, Shepard. You gave me the perfect opportunity to take him out," Garrus said as they moved over to the Doctor.

"It was a clean kill," Shepard nodded. Shepard asked Ashley to inform C-Sec and sent off a message to Anderson as Garrus turned his attention to the Doctor and asked if she was alright. She was okay, if shaken. Apparently, there had been a Quarian poking her nose around. She had information on Saren and the owner of Chora's Den, Fist, had been trying to keep the Doctor from telling Garrus about her. "I think it's time we paid Fist a visit," Shepard stated.

"I know this is your show, Shepard, but I want to bring Saren down. I'm coming with you," Garrus stated boldly, and Kaidan was surprised when Shepard let him tag along. Ashley reminded Shepard about the Krogans they'd overheard at Chora's Den. "Wrex, he's a mercenary who was hired by the Shadow Broker to take out Fist. Fist was an agent who abandoned him and went to work for Saren."

"What's a Shadow Broker?" Ashley asked curiously as they made their way to the transit call terminal.

"An information broker, the Shadow Broker is the most powerful, well connected broker. You can't sneeze without him knowing. Not the kind of person you want to betray," Kaidan responded and Garrus nodded adding in that no one has ever seen him in person. "Might be useful to have a Krogan around," Kaidan suggested and Shepard agreed. She decided they would stop at C-Sec to check in with Wrex.

"So, Vakarian," Shepard started as they made their way down the stairs, "This is the second time I've had to draw my weapon since I set foot on the Citadel. That normal?"

"It may look clean and shiny, but it's as dark and dirty as a big city on any planet," Vakarian answered and Shepard nodded, though his answer only seemed to sharpen the edge she was on. They rounded the corner, and entered the vestibule of C-Sec to find Wrex in a heated argument with one of Garrus's fellow officers.

The Krogan are a race of large reptile bipeds, and Kaidan always thought their faces looked a bit like turtles. They have large shoulder humps that store water and nutrients, allowing them to go without sustenance for long periods of time. Their eyes are wide set, giving them an excellent field of vision to allow them to see incoming attackers. They have thick hides which are nearly impervious to cuts, scrapes or bruises. They are also resistant to toxins, radiation and weather extremes. They can stand over seven feet tall and when fully armored can weigh roughly one ton. They have backups of major organs; for example: two hearts, four lungs, four testicles. Hence the Krogan slang term "quad." Their near indestructibility allows Krogan to live for centuries.

Shepard knew if she could find an ally in a Krogan, it could prove to be invaluable. The arguent ended with Wrex telling the officer he was going to kill Fist, and that he would like to see the officer try to arrest him. As Wrex moved to leave, Shepard stepped in his way. "Yes, human? Do I know you?" His voice was deep, and gravely.

"Name is Shepard. I'm going after Fist and thought you might want to come along," Her tone was matter of fact and she added a shrug.

"Shepard, _Commander_ Shepard. I've heard a lot about you. We're both warriors Shepard, out of respect I'm giving you fair warning. I'm going to kill Fist," Wrex rumbled, turning his head slightly to allow a bright red eye appraise the human before him. It was then Kaidan noticed the impressive stretch of scars running from just under his eye, over his mouth and down his neck. He'd been deeply cut by something, or someone, at some point.

"Fist knows you're coming, you'll have a better chance if we work together," Garrus interjected, adding incentive for Wrex to come with them instead of going off alone.

"My people have a saying: Seek the enemy of your enemy and you'll find a friend," Wrex stated, holding his hand out to Shepard. Shepard welcomed him to the team and shook his hand. "Let's go, I don't want to keep Fist waiting," Wrex said with a chuckle. Kaidan was a little stunned at Shepard's willingness to work with aliens. Then again, if she was going to accept the Spectre position she would have to get used to unorthodox crews. Ashley, on the other hand, was not as accepting and as they made to leave C-Sec and head back to Chora's Den she muttered something Kaidan couldn't quite hear under her breath. Shepard did.

"Excuse me, Chief?" Shepard asked as she stopped and turned to glare at the younger woman.

"Ma'am, it's just that this is an Alliance mission, and an Alliance vessel. It seems inappropriate to invite aliens along," Ashley's stare was cold, her tone hard and she stood at attention while questioning the Commander's decisions.

Shepard's eyes were narrowed at her, and she was frowning slightly. The rest of the crew had stopped and were staring. "Get back to the ship," She said, pointing towards the elevator that would take her down to the docking bay.

"Commander!" Ashley started to argue, her tone surprised and slightly desperate.

"Now," Shepard barked the order. Ashley saluted and turned on her heel. Shepard watched her go before turning, "Let's move."

They weren't far from the club and as they made their way over, they heard someone shouting Shepard's name. She stopped, looked around, and spotted a blond man waving excitedly. Kaidan trailed slightly behind her as she cautiously made her way over to him, as if she was trying to see if she recognized him. Before she could speak, he started, "You're Commander Shepard, the hero of Eden Prime! I am so honored to meet you! My name is Conrad. Conrad Verner. They say you killed more than a hundred geth on Eden Prime!"

"I wasn't exactly counting. Is there a reason you were shouting my name across the station?" She asked, trying not to sound as annoyed as she was but failing, and Kaidan looked to Garrus whose mandibles flared as Kaidan suppressed a chuckle.

"Well, I know, I mean, I know you're probably busy, but do you have time for a quick autograph?" He asked, star struck. Kaidan couldn't hold it in any longer and chuckled softly, and Shepard turned and glared at him. She agreed. "Thanks! My wife is going to be so impressed!"

"Right, I've got to get back to work," She said dismissively.

"Of course," He sounded disappointed. "Hey! Next time you're on Earth, I'd love to buy you a drink!" He said, and Shepard offered him an awkward smile and a small wave before turning and heading towards Chora's Den. She was shaking her head as they walked, Kaidan took a few extra steps to walk beside her.

"Seems like you've got fans, now, Shepard," Kaidan teased with a smile.

"Can it, Alenko," She answered with a chuckle of her own, and a sidelong glance from the corner of her eye. Kaidan was grateful for the lighthearted moment, and the fact that she'd smiled, in the middle of all of this drama.

The atmosphere was much different when they reached Chora's Den this time. Shepard motioned for them to flank the door before going in. She waited for them to be in position before opening the door. Bullets started flying immediately, and Kaidan threw up a biotic barrier and went in first taking cover as he overloaded the nearest merc's gun and used his rifle on the merc to the opposite side, allowing Shepard, Wrex and Garrus time to enter safely.

The club was overrun with thugs, and they made their way slowly around the bar taking them out with a mix of biotics and weapons that Kaidan was growing used to. Shepard rushed out from behind cover to take out a Krogan bouncer when the Krogan suddenly charged at her. Kaidan knew there was no way for her to avoid him, he charged up and with a violent flick of his wrist sent the Krogan flying into the wall. He didn't hold back this time, like he had with Jenkins. The release of the energy gave him a rush he felt down to his toes and the Krogan hit the wall with a sickening crunch. Shepard stalked over and was able to finish him off with a quick rap from her rifle. His breathing was heavy as he scanned the area for hostiles, "Area's clear." He announced. He looked up to see Shepard staring at him as if she were looking at him for the first time. He cleared his throat and moved passed her towards the back office, where Fist would be.

They moved together through the stock area, and Shepard ordered the warehouse workers to leave and they did, allowing them to save a little bloodshed. The door to Fist's office was locked, and Shepard signaled for Kaidan to hack it. He stood next to her as he opened his 'tool and worked through the code. "We're going to talk about that later," She promised him quietly.

"I don't doubt it," He answered as the lock turned green, "Ah, I mean, aye, aye," He corrected and he turned so his back was to the wall opposite Shepard as she opened the door.

They moved in and found Fist bookended by two defensive turrets that activated instantly. Garrus and Kaidan each sabotaged a turret and Wrex placed Fist in a biotic stasis, effectively freezing him in place allowing Shepard to close in on him. She aimed her pistol before Wrex released the stasis and Fist fell to the floor. As soon as Fist was down, his arms were up blocking his head as he begged for his life and surrendered. Kaidan lowered his weapon, noticing Wrex hadn't. "Where's the Quarian?" Shepard asked, as she cocked the gun. They were so close to getting the evidence they needed. He insisted he didn't know where she was as he curled up into a tighter ball on the floor.

"Can I kill him now?" Wrex asked sounding bored. His weapon pointed at the man.

"Wait!" He peeked out from behind his arms and looked to Shepard, fear etched in his features. I don't know where she is but I know where you can find her! She said she'd only deal with the Shadow Broker himself," Fist pleaded for time, pleaded for his life.

"Face to face? Impossible! Even I was hired through an agent!" Wrex insisted. Shepard lowered her weapon and Fist rose to his feet.

"Nobody meets the Shadow Broker. Ever. Even I don't know his true identity. But she didn't know that. I told her I'd set up a meeting. But when she shows up, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her," Fist admitted. Shepard grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled his face close to hers. She demanded to know where the meeting was as her pistol rested just under his chin. "Here on the wards. The back alley by the markets. She's supposed to meet them right now. You can make it if you hurry." As soon as Shepard released him, Wrex fired his shotgun into Fist's belly sending him hard to the wall. Shepard jumped and Kaidan cursed loudly.

"The Shadow Broker paid me to kill him. I don't leave jobs half done," Wrex answered simply, as he stowed his shotgun. Kaidan glared at Wrex for a second before shooting a glance at Shepard. Fist had surrendered, he didn't have to die. Kaidan turned his attention to Fist's desk. Garrus was already on his comm reporting the shooting at the club.

Shepard stared at Wrex for a moment before speaking, "You did warn me, and I get it, Wrex, but your contract is done now. If you're staying with us, we don't kill captives." He grunted his assent. "Now, let's find the Quarian." Shepard let Garrus lead them to the alley as he was more familiar with the station having worked in C-Sec. They got there quickly and found the Quarian facing down Saren's men who attacked when she refused to supply the data.

From their position at the top of the stairs in the alley, they were able to make quick work of the thugs between Garrus's sniper rifle and the combined biotics of the rest of the group. Once they were down, and the Quarian was safe, they moved towards her.

When she spoke, her soft voice had a pleasant trill to it. "Fist set me up! I knew I couldn't trust him!" Quarians are a race of nomads, driven off their homeworld by the geth. Over the course of the centuries that passed while living on their ships, their immune systems weakened to the point that they have to wear suits that cover them from the tops of their heads to their feet. No one outside the Quarians themselves, know what they look like under their suits. Even their faces are covered by an opaque, domed mask. The shape of their eyes are barely discernable beneath the mask and their filtered, circular mouth pieces light up when they speak.

"Fist won't be a problem anymore," Shepard reassured her. "We're you hurt in the fight?"

"I can take care of myself," She sounded defensive, and Shepard raised an eyebrow at her tone. "Not that I don't appreciate the help. Who… who are you?" She asked suddenly sounding nervous.

"My name is Shepard. I'm looking for evidence to prove Saren's a traitor," Shepard answered.

"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, I may have a chance to repay you for saving my life. Just, not here. We need to go somewhere safe," The Quarian introduced herself, and said the words they had been waiting to hear. Kaidan suggested they take it to the Ambassador's office.

Shepard nodded before turning to Garrus, "This makes four, Vakarian. Still think it's just like any city planet side?" She asked dryly.

"No, Shepard, now I think it might be you," He answered, humor lacing his tone and Shepard chuckled as she sent a message to Anderson as Garrus, once again, alerted station security.

"Wrex, Garrus, Why don't you two meet us down at the Normandy? I expect Captain Anderson will want to speak with both of you before we leave the station," She suggested. "I'll send you a message when we're heading down that way. If that's okay?" The aliens consented, and Shepard turned to Tali. "You'd better come with us."


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** I had hoped the Citadel would only have taken two chapters. It took three. Enjoy, and please leave a review and let me know what you think. **- TLC**

* * *

Chapter Eight

"You're not making my life easy, Shepard. Firefights in the wards? An all-out assault on Chora's Den?" Udina was sneering as he scolded the Commander without turning around. Shepard sighed loudly and rubbed the back of her neck as she stretched. "Do you know how many – Who is this?" Udina asked when he finally turned around and Anderson walked over from the balcony. "A Quarian? What are you up to, Shepard?"

"My job, Ambassador. I'm making your day. Meet Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, she has information linking Saren to the geth," Shepard said placing a comforting hand at the top of Tali's back as she introduced her. Anderson's face lit up, as did Udina's. Kaidan stood slightly behind Shepard to her right, letting his COs discuss the data.

"Really?" Udina asked. "Well, in that case, maybe you'd better start at the beginning, Miss…?" Udina was clearly unsure what to call her and Kaidan enjoyed his discomfort.

"Tali is fine," She confirmed, Udina apologized, stating he doesn't have the opportunity to meet many Quarians, and asking why she had left the flotilla. "I was on my Pilgrimage. My right of passage into adulthood. It is a tradition among my people. When we reach maturity, we leave the ships of our parents and our people behind. Alone, we search the stars, only returning to the flotilla once we have discovered something of value. In this way, we prove ourselves worthy of adulthood. It could be resources like food or fuel. Or some type of useful technology. Or even knowledge that will make life easier on the flotilla. Through our pilgrimage, we prove that we will contribute to the community, rather than being a burden on our limited resources," She was rambling nervously, her hands twisting in front of her. Shepard turned to her, and got her attention by looking in the general area of her eyes.

"Tali, tell us what you found," She entreated, her tone soothing and gentle. Tali nodded. Kaidan watched as just that gentle prodding from Shepard, and the way she spoke to the skittish young Quarian, gave her the courage she needed.

"Right, sorry," She nodded gently towards Shepard, and steeled herself as she stood straight and turned her attention back to Udina and Anderson. "During my travels I began hearing reports of geth. Since they drove my people into exile, the geth have never ventured beyond the Veil. I was curious. I tracked a patrol of geth to an uncharted world. I waited for one to become separated from its unit. Then I disabled it and removed its memory core," She stated this like it was an every day occurrence, a simple task. After Eden Prime, Kaidan knew otherwise. Between what they had witnessed in the alley, and the ease with which she spoke of disabling geth convinced Kaidan she really could handle herself.

"I thought the geth fried their memory cores when they died, as a defense?" Anderson asked, honestly intrigued.

She spoke, her tone firm and knowledgeable, and if not for her youthful innocence and eagerness to impress, her tone could have been considered condescending, but it wasn't, "My people created the geth. If you're quick, careful and lucky, small caches of data can sometimes be saved." She activated her omni'tool as she spoke, "Most of the core was wiped clean, but I was able to salvage something from its audio banks.

She played the recording, and Kaidan watched as Shepard and Anderson locked eyes, their gaze intense and angry, while in contrast, Udina's eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning, "Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit." It was definitely Saren's voice.

"And one step closer to the return of the Reapers," A second voice added before Tali closed her 'tool. Kaidan couldn't see her face, but her stance betrayed her pride, and Kaidan was glad they'd given her the opportunity to contribute.

"That's Saren's voice. The Council has to accept this as proof he was involved in the attack," Anderson stated, finally turning his gaze from Shepard and looking to Udina. Udina admitted he didn't recognize the other voice on the recording, but that wasn't the point. They had Saren.

"He said Eden Prime brought him one step closer to the Conduit. What could that be?" Shepard asked, her voice sounded distant, and her brow creased. She looked to Anderson.

"I bet it has something to do with the beacon," Anderson replied, watching Shepard work through it. "Some kind of Prothean technology."

Shepard turned back to Tali, "Did the geth have anything on the Reapers?"

"According to the memory core, the Reapers were a hyper advanced machine race that existed fifty thousand years ago. The Reapers hunted the Protheans to total extinction, and then they vanished. At least, that's what the geth believe," Tali answered with a slight shrug.

"Sounds a little far-fetched," Udina commented snidely, but Kaidan was watching Shepard react. Her face blanched, and her eyes closed. She slowly turned away from Anderson, Udina and Tali, and was facing Kaidan with her hands up on her forehead. He took a small step forward, and when she opened her eyes and looked to his, for the first time since he'd met her, and for only an instant, she looked scared.

"I understand it now," She whispered and Anderson placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at him. "The vision from the beacon. I _saw_ the Protheans being wiped out by the Reapers."

"The Council is just going to love this," Udina stated, rolling his eyes and scrubbing a hand over his face.

"The geth revere the Reapers as gods, the pinnacle of non-organic life. They believe Saren knows how to bring them back. That's why they're following him," Tali added and Kaidan noticed Shepard's hands tremble before she fisted them at her sides. He wondered just how affected she was by the beacon, and he swallowed the guilt, again.

"The Reapers are a threat to every species in Council space. We have to tell them," Shepard insisted, her voice firm and demanding.

"Well, no matter what they think about the rest of this. We have the proof we needed. Well done, Commander," Anderson said, clapping her on the shoulder again. Udina and Anderson left to arrange the meeting with the Council, and Shepard turned to Kaidan. Any trace of fear or doubt was gone from her.

"We should follow, be there when they're ready for us," Shepard said to Kaidan as Tali stood off to the side of the room.

"What about her?" Kaidan asked gesturing to the Quarian.

"My name is Tali!" She snapped, and Kaidan immediately offered his apologies. "Commander, you saw me in the alley. You know what I can do, let me come with you," She suggested, her vibrating voice pleaded.

"It's not up to me," Shepard insisted, "It's Captain Anderson's ship, but I'll certainly vouch for you, if you're sure." Tali took her hand and insisted she was. "Let's get to the Tower." While they made their way over to the Citadel Tower for their next meeting with the Council, Shepard turned to Tali, "What about your pilgrimage?"

"The Pilgrimage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good. What does it say about me if I turn my back on this? Saren is a danger to the entire galaxy. My Pilgrimage can wait," She answered, and Kaidan realized he would vouch for her, too. Shepard seemed to have a magnetism about her, a way to attract the best people – or maybe she just brought the best out of the people she met.

They reached the Tower a bit quicker this time since they had been there before. They met Anderson in the same place as before, and he led them back up to the Council. They were just finishing listening to Tali's recording of Saren, and Kaidan couldn't help but feel smug as he watched Shepard stare down all the Councilors as Udina threw the evidence at them.

"This evidence is irrefutable, Ambassador," Sparatus stated went the recording had finished, "Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes." The Turian Councilor punched a few buttons on the console in front of him.

Tevos spoke then, "I recognize the other voice, the one speaking with Saren: Matriarch Benezia." Her tone betrayed her surprise, and Shepard asked her to elaborate. "Matriarch Benezia is a powerful biotic, and she had many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren." She was assured yet anxious in her statement.

"I am more interested in the Reapers. What do you know about them?" Valern asked, bringing their attention to him for the first time in this meeting.

Anderson answered, "Only what was extracted from the geth's memory core," He repeated what Tali had informed them before. "We think the Conduit is the key to bringing them back. Saren is searching for it. That's why he attacked Eden Prime."

Valern asked if they had any clues as to what the Conduit was, and Shepard's hands clenched and flexed open at her sides, her anxiety and frustration mounting, "Saren thinks it can bring back the Reapers. Regardless, of what it is, that's bad enough."

Sparatus shouted, "Listen to what you're saying! Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Impossible. It has to be. Where did the Reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we've found no trace of their existence? If they were real, we'd have found something!"

Shepard spoke low in response, "The geth believe the Reapers are gods, and Saren is the prophet for their return. I tried to warn you about Saren, and you refused to face the truth. Don't make the same mistake again."

Tevos spoke up, "This is different. You proved Saren betrayed the Council. We all agree he's using the geth to search for the Conduit, but we don't really know why. The Reapers are obviously a myth, Commander. A convenient lie to cover Saren's true purpose. A legend he is using to bend the geth to his will."

Shepard's voice was hard when she spoke again, "Fifty thousand years ago, the Reapers wiped out all galactic civilization. If Saren finds the Conduit, it will happen again."

Sparatus spoke this time, "Saren is a rogue agent on the run for his life. He no longer has the rights or the resources of a Spectre. The Council has stripped him of his position."

"That's not good enough!" Udina shouted, his outrage making him shake, "You know he's hiding in the Traverse! Send your fleet in!"

Valern snapped back, his voice cool in stark contrast to Udina's, "A fleet cannot track down one man."

"The Citadel Fleet could secure the entire region, keep the geth from attacking any more of our colonies," Udina was insistent.

"Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus Systems! We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies!" Sparatus replied, his anger matching Udina's.

Shepard was barely audible when she spoke, it forced everyone to be silent in order to hear her, "Every time humanity asks for help, you ignore us," The Councilors exchanged looks between themselves while she spoke, "It's just like Mindoir, silly humans… setting up colonies on the edges of Citadel space… we hadn't been out here that long then, I get that. You couldn't know if we would last. But now? We're either a part of the galactic community, or we're not. You have to make that decision, and goddamn it, its decision time. With or without your approval, with or without your help, I am going after Saren," Shepard declared, fire in her eyes.

Tevos stared at Shepard, openly appraising the human before her before. "There is another solution," Tevos started after a silent moment, "A way to stop Saren that does not require fleets, or armies." She looked at Sparatus as she finished speaking.

"No! It's too soon! Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres," Sparatus insisted, his voice outraged.

Shepard's voice was surprisingly resigned when she spoke again. She shrugged, "You don't have to send a fleet into the Traverse and the Ambassador gets his human Spectre," A soft chuckle accompanied her words, "Everybody's happy." Kaidan had the suspicion not everyone was happy with this development, and he found himself once again wishing he could read her mind.

The Councilors looked to each other before Tevos spoke, "Commander Sloan Shepard, step forward." She looked to Anderson, who let a small, proud smile spread on his face, and she mirrored it, though it lost some of its confidence, before stepping up to the end of the walkway. "It is the decision of this Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance of the Citadel."

"Spectres are not trained but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle, those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file," Valern added, his tone firm and commanding ringing out through the large open space.

"Spectres are an idea, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will," Tevos continued, her voice softer but no less authoritative.

"Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold," Sparatus finished, he sounded proud of the words he was speaking, but still unsure of Shepard.

"You are the first human Spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species," Tevos reminded her, as if that was necessary.

"I'm honored, Councilor," She answered with a gracious nod, though Kaidan didn't believe her words, and he watched Anderson watch her. He hoped Anderson wasn't pushing her into this as a way to live vicariously through her. Shepard deserved better than that.

"We're sending you into the Traverse after Saren. He's a fugitive from justice, so you are authorized to use any means necessary to apprehend or eliminate him," Valern commanded, ensuring she understood the scope and the tools available to her to ensure success.

"I'll find him," She promised, and those three words were the most convincing words she'd spoken since they'd decided to make her a Spectre.

"This meeting of the Council is adjourned," Tevos stated, and the Councilors descended their positions and disappeared into rooms behind their raised platform.

Shepard looked a little shell shocked when she turned to face them again. She took a step closer and Anderson reached out and shook her hand, the grin had grown, "Congratulations, Commander." She nodded staying silent.

"We've got a lot of work to do, Shepard. You're going to need a ship, a crew, supplies… Anderson, come with me. I'll need your help to set all this up," Udina stated before walking away from the group, Anderson turned on his heel and followed Udina.

Kaidan thought about offering her his congratulations, but when he saw her expression, he decided not to, "Not even a thank you from Udina." Kaidan commented, and she looked to him when he spoke, like she'd been woken up.

"What did you expect from a politician?" She asked with a shrug before pulling up her 'tool and he assumed she was sending a message to Garrus and Wrex to meet at the Normandy if they still wanted to come along. It struck Kaidan again, then, she had no family to contact and share this news with. It was such a blunt contrast to his own life, it was hard to imagine. Shepard advised Tali to go gather her things and to meet them at the Normandy's docking bay.

This left Shepard and Kaidan alone as they made their way to the docking bay. It was a comfortable silence as they made their way through the Presidium. "Are you ready for this, Alenko?" She asked without looking at him.

He had to admit he was caught off guard by her question. He looked at her, and her eyes were bright as they locked on his. He knew he could tell her he was ready, but when he looked at her, his answer suddenly wasn't that easy, "Is anyone ever ready for something like this?" He asked and she laughed softly looking down to their feet as they walked.

"Good, I was afraid I was the only one with doubts," She answered, her hands were folded behind her back. "Think they bought it?" Her words surprised him; he'd certainly bought it, and he told her as much. She graced him with her rich, full laugh and placed her hand on his arm as they reached the elevator that would take them to the docking bay. He couldn't help but smile back. The stepped onto the elevator, and Kaidan looked to her.

"Commander," She cocked her head and looked up at him sideways, "If there's one thing I believe, after these last few days, it's that if there is anyone who can do this. It's you. I'm just glad I get to watch, and maybe help," He said simply and was pleased when she gave him a full smile.

"Thanks, Alenko. We'll get it done. I'm just glad Anderson is still Captain," She said as the doors opened and they stepped off the elevator. Garrus, Tali and Wrex were standing near the Normandy's airlock, where Udina and Anderson were waiting for them.

"I've got big news for you, Shepard!" Udina shouted as Shepard and Kaidan made their way over. Kaidan stopped short, and let Shepard move forward as he took, what he was feeling more comfortable considering, his spot slightly behind her and to the right. "Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer of the Normandy. The ship is yours now," Udina announced, and his heart dropped for her after her confession in the elevator. He watched as her shoulders fell, like the wind had been let out of her sails, for just an instant before she stood ramrod straight.

Her eyes went to Anderson when he spoke, his voice thick, "She's quick and quiet and you know the crew. Perfect ship for a Spectre," Anderson couldn't hide the naked pride in Shepard's new title. "Treat her well, Commander."

"I'll take good care of her, Sir," She promised softly.

"I know you will," Anderson replied, and held her gaze. Kaidan felt like he was intruding on a private moment. It wasn't sexual that's for sure, there was none of that tension. It was almost familial. He wondered just what role Anderson had played in Shepard's life.

"Well, Commander, I'll forward the leads we have to the ship," Udina stated and Anderson reminded her she was a Spectre now, and didn't answer to Udina or the Alliance, not directly. The anger in Udina's eyes was not easily hidden, "Right but your actions still reflect on humanity as a whole. You make a mess, and I get stuck cleaning it up."

She turned her heated stare to the Ambassador, "I'll do my job, Udina, and you do yours."

"Just remember, you were a human long before you were a Spectre, I have a meeting to get to. Godspeed, Commander," Udina turned and stalked off the docking bay.

Kaidan watched on as Shepard turned back to Anderson, "I want the truth, Captain. Why are you stepping down?" She asked, and Kaidan turned his back to the conversation, allowing them a modicum of privacy.

"You needed your own ship. A Spectre can't answer to anyone but the Council, and it's time for me to step down," Anderson insisted. "Saren's gone. Don't even try to find him. We know what he's after: the Conduit. He's got his geth scouring the Traverse looking for clues."

"David," Shepard scolded, and the use of the Captain's first name made Kaidan pause. He was stunned. "I asked you for the truth. You've never lied to me. You've never hid behind the company lines with me. Don't start now."

He sighed audibly, "Honestly? No, this isn't how I pictured my career coming to an end. Pushing papers really isn't my thing. But you're the one who can stop Saren. I believe in you, Sloan. If that means I have to step aside, so be it."

"I don't have to like it," She whispered, and Anderson chuckled, and pulled her in for a hug. "I won't let you down, Sir," She said before pulling away from him. She stood at attention and saluted him. He returned the salute. "I should go," She said and he nodded. She called out to the aliens at the end of the bay, "This ship is leaving in five with or with out you," She walked away from Anderson and as she passed Kaidan she added, "Let's do this, Alenko."

As Kaidan and Shepard waited for the decontamination scans to complete, he watched her in his periphery. She stood stone still, eyes on the floor with her back straight and her hands fisted at her sides. Her jaw was clenched and he almost thought he saw tears in her eyes. The scan completed before he'd worked up the nerve to break the silence. Once on board, she turned left and went to the cockpit and Kaidan went right to his station to try to process everything that had happened today as he prepped his terminal for launch. He knew it would take longer than a couple hours for everything that had happened to sink in. He was distracted when Shepard's voice rang out over the comm.

"This is Commander Shepard speaking. We have our orders: find Saren before he finds the Conduit. I won't lie to you. This mission isn't going to be easy. This began with an attack on a human colony in the Traverse. We know Saren won't stop there. His geth armies aren't going to stay on the far fringes of Citadel space. Our enemy knows were coming. Where ever he searches for the Conduit, we'll be there. We will hunt him to the very ends of the galaxy and bring him down. Humanity needs to do this, not just for our own sake but for the sake of every species in the galaxy. We will stop him."


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** I want to thank those who added my story to their favorites or their follow lists. I am always pleasantly surprised, and grateful that you have taken your time out to read my writing. Here is another chapter, I hope you enjoy it and would **_love_ **to hear your thoughts on what you've read. Enjoy... **- TLC**

* * *

Chapter Nine

The ship was heading to the Artemis Tau cluster to look for Liara T'Soni, Matriarch Benezia's daughter. Ironically, Dr. T'Soni was an archaeologist who studied the Protheans. Shepard wanted to reach her to see if she could give them any information on her mother, or the Protheans, that might help them in their search for the Conduit. Kaidan was glad when he'd finished his shift and had nothing left to do. He was tense, his thoughts wouldn't stop turning. Saren. Geth. Shepard. "David." He needed to do something physical to work out the frustration and let his mind rest. He changed quickly before heading down to the cargo bay and the small workout area. There was a punching bag, a weight bench and a pull up bar; he figured he could take some of his frustration out on the bag.

He stepped off the elevator and as he reached the area he heard soft grunting and the sound of fists hitting the bag; apparently he wasn't the only one looking for some stress relief. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Shepard working the bag. She was dressed in a gray Alliance tank top and shorts with running shoes. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail, which rocked back and forth with each hit to the bag. The clothing she wore to workout was snug enough for him to see the muscles shifting as she moved. She hadn't noticed him yet, so he took this moment to take her in as his eyes trailed over her sculpted arms, toned abdomen and shapely legs. Her skin glistened from the exertion. Some of her hair had fallen loose and stuck to the side of her damp face and neck. Her lips were pressed together, and her brow creased with effort. He jumped when she let out a yell, and he felt her biotics ignite seconds before a blue sheathed fist hit the bag knocking it to the floor as it broke open spilling the sand inside. She was breathing heavy as she reached for her water.

"This is why we can't have nice things," Kaidan said stepping into the area and she jumped a little, the water trickled down her chin to her chest and was camouflaged by the sweat there as it disappeared beneath her top. He cleared his throat softly and smirked as she laughed and wiped at her mouth. She noticed his clothes, and the towel and water he'd brought with him.

"Sorry," She offered him as she picked up her own towel and gently pressed her face into it, drying it. "I'll be sure to requisition a new one." She promised and Kaidan shrugged as she walked closer to him.

"What did the bag do to you anyway?" He asked. He'd been pleasantly surprised to find her here, and wanted to continue their interaction instead of allowing her to leave him alone with his workout. Her eyes were alight from the activity, but still seemed sad.

"It doesn't hit back," She answered as she tossed the towel over her shoulder and sipped some of her water without moving her gaze from his eyes.

Kaidan spoke without thinking, "Well, I do," He offered. She grinned, immediately dropping the bottle from her mouth. Her eyes sparkled with excitement. He was suddenly nervous, did he really just challenge an N7 agent to spar?

"You sure?" She asked him as her grin took on a predatory edge.

"No," He said with a chuckle as he set his towel and water down on the bench and moved to the center of the area.

"Alright," She started, still grinning, as she followed him, "but I'm not holding back," She warned him as they circled each other.

"Me neither," He answered as he lifted his hands to a defensive position, fists up and forearms out. She mimicked his pose as they continued to move around each other without turning their backs to the other. It went on for a minute before Kaidan spoke again, "Ladies first, Commander," He offered her the opening offensive.

She chuckled, "I know. I'm waiting, Lieutenant," She teased back and he shook his head as he moved in and took the first shot, a quick jab she had no problem blocking before he threw in a cross that she simply wasn't there to receive. She used his momentum to her advantage and scored a quick kidney shot as she moved behind him. If it had been anyone else, he would have been surprised at the power behind it, but this was Shepard and he had no idea what to expect. "Maybe I am holding back a little," She offered and he chuckled as he turned towards her again. "I don't want to have to answer to Dr. Chakwas," She admitted.

"Fair enough," He answered and she came at him again. She was fast, but he was still able to block two shots before she scored on his side with a left hook. He winced and knew he would feel that later. "So, everything squared away with Williams?" He asked her as he moved in. He feinted with his left and was able to make contact with a right cross that she rolled off of, so the impact was minimal. She moved with almost a feline agility, light on her feet and vigilant. It wasn't the first time he'd thought she had some kind of sixth sense that allowed her to see where the next attack was coming from.

"Yeah, did you know her Grandfather is _that_ General Williams, from Shanxi?" Shepard asked him as she moved in with another combo, but this time he was able to block all three hits. She offered him an appreciative nod at his acclimation to her attack style. Kaidan admitted he hadn't known that, but that explained her distrust of aliens, and her lackluster assignments despite her record and test scores. General Williams went down in history as the first, and only, human to surrender to aliens. This happened back during the First Contact War, but clearly her family name was still tarnished. "Yeah, it does. It doesn't really matter though. I don't always trust aliens, either. Not since Mindoir anyway, but we're soldiers first. This mission is not a typical Alliance mission. It affects more than humanity. She promises to be more open-minded. I just hope she can, she's talented, but if she can't work with the crew I pick up, she'll have to be reassigned."

"That would be unfortunate," He said as he tossed out another jab, followed by a cross and a hook that scored on her side. She turned towards him, grinning. He chuckled, "You shouldn't be laughing." He said with a smirk of his own. She promised she would feel it later, and they lost themselves for a few moments in the back and forth of the faux fight. He watched as her silence allowed her to dive into herself and the muscle memory of the fighting took over. Her eyes were dark and distant as she came at him. "So, why'd you really break the bag?" He asked her through a groan, after she connected with his kidney again, and his back arched from the impact.

"Today did not go the way I thought it would," She admitted after a moment as they continued their slow dance. "I was looking forward to serving with Anderson and I never actually wanted to be a goddamn Spectre," She admitted quietly. Her eyes gleamed as she moved in again and he found it harder to block her as the speed of her fists increased. With the speed came power. "Anderson was the first human face I saw on Mindoir after the attack," She was speaking quietly, and Kaidan found it hard to focus on what she was saying as he concentrated on her movements attempting to anticipate where her punches would land so he could block them. "He's the reason I joined the Alliance. Shit, he's the reason I was ready for N School when I got the recommendation. He's the reason… I'm… and I ended his career today. All because they made me a mother fuckin Spectre." She said as she pulled back and her fist connected with his ribs, and he bit back a yell. "All I wanted was to serve the Alliance, make David proud, protect the colonies in ways my colony wasn't. Try to honor my family's memory. Now, I'm the goddamn right hand for the very fuckin people who did nothing for me when my family was taken from me," She was coming at him again, fists flying and at full power.

She was intimidating when she really let loose. He could feel her biotics reacting to the energy she was expelling as she remained on the offensive. Their friendly volley was over, though not intentionally. It was like she needed the physical exertion to really let herself get out the emotional strain. Kaidan wasn't afraid of her, but she would hurt him if she let loose biotically. He watched as she disappeared into herself again. She connected with his jaw and he saw stars for a second before he let his own nodes ignite and caught her in a mild stasis. The energy field was just enough to stop her attack, as he stood straight and wiped at his mouth. He released the stasis and she dropped down and swung a leg around, kicking his feet out from under him. He fell and landed hard on his tailbone with a yelp, before letting himself lie back. After tripping him, she'd fallen onto her back and was staring at the ceiling as they nearly panted from the workout.

"Sorry, Alenko, I didn't mean to unload on you like that, but a stasis? Chicken shit," She teased as an apology as she sat and brought her knees up in front of her, looking at him. He was still on his back and he let out a chuckle. She reached out a hand to him and pulled him so he was sitting facing her. He tasted copper, and he lifted his hand to his lip and watched her wince. "Oh fuck, I must have… I didn't realize … I didn't mean to hit your face. I guess, I deserved the stasis," She reached out to touch the cut and his breath caught in his throat as he felt her biotics tingle against the sensitive skin of his lip. "A little medi-gel will clear that right up. I've got some in my bag."

She pulled her hand away and made to stand when he spoke, "Don't worry, it'll heal," She let herself sit back down on the floor in front of him and he continued, "Commander…"

"Shepard," She corrected as she rested her chin on her knees and looked up at him.

"Shepard, may I ask you something, about what you said? Feel free to tell me if it's out of line," She nodded. "Do you think you won't be able to make Anderson proud as a Spectre?"

She held his gaze for a long moment before answering. He was about to let her off the hook and apologize for the breach of protocol when she finally spoke. "No. I know he's already proud of me," She said with a chuckle that lacked the required humor, as her eyes dropped from his. "I was 16 when I met David. He became something like a big brother to me," She paused and looked down to her hands, where she picked at a torn cuticle. Her voice was soft and sad when she spoke again, "It's a crazy profession we've chosen. You want to do well, and be recognized but you have no control over who does the recognizing. My goal was never to be involved with Council politics. I wanted to advance as far as I could in the Alliance and retire before my name was a weapon feared more than my pistol. With the addition to Spectre to my title, I think it's too late for that," She admitted, and her eyes moved up to his and it seemed as if, for a second, she'd forgotten who she was talking to but she didn't seem to regret the admission.

"That makes sense," Kaidan nodded, "You don't think the reputation would make your pistol more effective?" He knew what she was talking about, he had seen it happen to other's throughout his career. They go from front line heroes to working back room politics until they retire from boredom more than anything else.

"For now," She said, effectively closing the topic. "So," She said as she stood and reached out a hand to him. He took it, allowing her to pull him to his feet. They moved to the bench to grab their water and towels. "Why are you so against offensive biotics?" She asked him and he sighed. She lifted her water to her lips and drank, her eyebrow arched as she looked up at him. "I'm serious. Alenko, you threw a fully armored Krogan across the room with enough force to knock him out cold," She said it as if he was unaware of what he had done.

"I have worked very hard to reach the level of control I have," He said as he straddled the bench. He didn't like talking about this, but she had opened up to him, so it was only fair he returned the gesture. She mirrored him on the bench, her towel around her neck. "When the biotics manifested, I was terrified. My parents were at a loss. One day, after school, these men showed up. My parents had packed a bag for me and I was sent to Brain Camp," He saw the confusion play on her face, "Biotic Acclimation and Temperance training, but to the kids it was known as Brian Camp. Listen, let me know if I get too informal, protocol wasn't a big focus at BAaT," Kaidan said and Shepard shook her head.

"This is certainly not a formal debriefing," She urged him on, "besides I asked."

He paused for a minute. She had asked, but it had only been to take the focus off herself. "It's kind of funny," He said simply, and Shepard asked what he meant, "We finally get out here, and the final frontier is already settled and the residents don't even seem impressed by the view, or the dangers." He felt a gentle twist in his core when she smiled at him. It was soft and friendly, and it warmed her features pleasantly.

"I knew it," She said quietly and he gave her a questioning look, "You're a romantic! Did you sign on for the dream, Alenko? Secure man's future in space?"

He found himself grinning easily, "Yeah, well, I did read a lot of those books as a kid. You know, where the hero goes to space to prove himself to the woman he loves, or, you know … for justice," She was smiling still, and he found he appreciated the way her smile lit her eyes. "Maybe, I was a romantic," He conceded, "in the beginning. But, after BAaT, I realized 'the dream' doesn't exist. My goal now, is simply to do something good and, you know, see what's out here," She asked about BAaT then and he hesitated. There was something about the way she looked at him, that gave him the courage to tell her about it. He let out a deep sigh, "Well, Biotic Acclimation and Temperance didn't last past the airlock, we all called it Brain Camp. It was a place for us to 'commit to an evaluation of our abilities, so an understanding of biotics could be compiled.' It wasn't the best situation for a group of kids, but it beat the brain tumors some kids got from the 'accidental' exposures." He filled her in on how his mother had been exposed, and his opinion on whether or not the exposures remained accidental. He was glad to hear she agreed with his assessment.

"At least there were other kids there, you weren't alone," She offered as she clasped her hands in front of her and lifted them over her head stretching her torso. Kaidan heard the joints in her shoulders pop as he forced his eyes away from stretch of taut abdomen exposed as her shirt rode up.

"There was that. We were all in the same position, pulled from our families and stuck together on the fringes of space. There was a group of us who would get together every night before lights out, you know play cards or network games," Kaidan admitted and Shepard made a face at him. "What?"

"You were all teenagers at the time, right?" She asked and he nodded. "You expect me to believe you played cards and network games every night? Come on, I'm sure you found more exciting ways to pass the time." Her tone as accusatory, and lightly teasing, yet Kaidan couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him.

"No, well, not me anyway. I'm not the sort of guy who does that kind of thing lightly, Shepard," He confessed and she raised a skeptical brow at him. "There was one girl I spent a lot of time with…"

"Uh huh, I knew it," She teased.

He continued, through a smile, "…but we kept our clothes on. She was from Turkey, and her family came from money. They were so embarrassed by her biotics, they couldn't wait to ship her off when she'd manifested. She was smart, though, and charming as hell. She was beautiful, but not stuck up about it. A lot like you, actually," He said and couldn't help but notice her blush, though she tried to hide it as she drank from her water.

"Sounds like she meant a lot to you," She offered, letting his flirtatious comment go without response.

"She did, once upon a time," Kaidan admitted. "Maybe she felt the same, but… you know life happens," He said, desperate to change the subject.

"Sounds like there's a story there, Alenko," She pried gently, and he could feel her eyes searching his face. For the first time since he was 17, he thought he might want to talk about it. He just, wasn't ready. It was an event that fundamentally changed him, and he didn't want to admit what had happened when he'd lost control.

"There is," He admitted, "and it's the reason I tend to work defensively," He allowed himself a teasing grin before he continued, "Unfortunately, it's classified."

His grin spread wide when she threw her head back and laughed her rich, throaty laugh, "I outrank you, Lieutenant, you know I can find out," She reminded him after a moment.

"Not this you can't," He challenged, and her arched eyebrow told him the challenge had been accepted.

"I'm just going to say this on the topic then, as your CO," She said, and his felt a pang of regret at the reminder of rank, "I am surprised you haven't advanced further. You have the commendations, test scores and experience to back up a promotion. I think your aversion to the offensive is holding you back. I've been serving with you for less than a week, and I'm already impressed, between the Krogan at Chora's Den and that stasis you had me in a moment ago. That wasn't even full strength for you, was it?" She asked him, and he confirmed her suspicion. "It was remarkable and if you would allow yourself to stand out the way I think you can, you could be fast tracked to a command of your own."

He felt like he was glowing at her praise, "Thank you, Shepard. I will consider your advice. This is certainly shaping up to be an unparalleled mission."

"Fuck yeah it is, we're going to need every edge we can get," She agreed as she stood, his eyes moved with her. "Thanks for the spar, maybe I won't replace the bag." She was grinning and he chuckled.

"Thanks for listening to me whine about my childhood," He laughed, a little disappointed she was heading back to work.

"I asked," She reminded him. "I wanted to get to know you better, that's all." Her words stunned him for a second, "I mean it, though, thanks for this," She said as she took two backwards steps towards the elevator.

His brow creased, "Do you, uh, make it a habit of getting this personal with your crew?" She'd stopped walking when he'd started speaking. When he'd finished his question, her lip was pinched between her teeth. She didn't answer immediately, just kept her eyes on him. She took a breath, and paused before letting it slip out. She didn't answer his question, just turned on her heel and went to the elevator. She kept her back to him as she waited for the doors to open. His eyes remained on her the whole time. She entered the elevator, and turned to push the button.

Her only response was a question Kaidan had no idea of the answer to, given just as the door to the elevator closed, "What do you think?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: **Thank you to those who added my story to their follow and favorites list. It is appreciated and motivating. Please enjoy, and leave me a message and let me know what you thought. **- TLC**

* * *

Chapter Ten

"I thought Palaven was hot," Garrus mumbled over the helmet comms as they followed Shepard towards the dig site on Therum. The planet's sun was bearing down on them and their dark armor only made it worse.

"At least it's a dry heat," Kaidan responded with a light chuckle. He could feel the sweat beading on his back and forehead inside his suit. Therum was roughly 140º Fahrenheit with no foliage just large rock formations scattered over the relatively flat landscape. Unfortunately, because of the obstructions, they had to abandon the Mako and head the rest of the way on foot.

"Use your suits to stay hydrated and let's make this quick. I want off this fuckin rock," Shepard answered before signaling them to stop and dropping to cover. There were geth ahead who had yet to see them coming. With a mix of Garrus's sniper rifle, Kaidan's tech and Shepard's biotics they took out the grouping quickly and were able to move forward.

The geth dropship had passed overhead mere moments before while they were still in the Mako putting them on high alert. They didn't know just how many more had been dropped. Apparently, they weren't the only ones looking for Dr. T'Soni. They rounded the corner and spotted the entrance to the dig. There was a rumbling like thunder over head. Above them, the geth ship passed again dropping rocket troopers and snipers, along with a larger machine they hadn't come across before.

"What the fuck is that?" Shepard shouted as the dove behind crates as the larger machine unfolded and stood on four legs. Kaidan was on the opposite side of the path from Shepard and Garrus. He stayed in cover and looked over to Shepard. The missiles the geth shot barely missed and exploded as they hit the ground behind them. Kaidan watched as Shepard leaned out to survey the opposition. "Garrus! Get up high!" She shouted and pointed to the top of some scaffolding nearby, the vantage point would make it easy for him to pick off targets with his sniper rifle. Garrus gave a nod and moved to climb the scaffolding.

The large machine was powering up as Kaidan leaned out with his pistol and took out a rocket trooper with a few shots in quick succession. It dropped just as the four-legged machine released a pulse of blue energy. It missed but Kaidan's suit alerted him that his shields had been depleted. "Watch that pulse! Just killed my shields!" He gave the warning over the comm as he waited for his shields to power up again. They could hear the crack of Garrus's sniper rifle, and the clashing of the collapsing geth.

"Just that big guy left," Garrus's voice announced over the helmet comms. Kaidan and Shepard looked to each other as another shot of energy hit the crate Shepard was behind.

"Alenko, can you Lift it?" Shepard challenged him, and his jaw clenched. "If you Lift it, Garrus and I can hit it while it's immobile," She explained and he hesitated for just a second.

"Aye, aye, Commander. On your order," He confirmed his obedience. They waited while the geth powered up again. Garrus gave the word when he had his shot lined up. Just as soon as Kaidan and Shepard's shields failed, she gave the order for them to move. With a quick hand gesture, Kaidan enveloped the geth with his cerulean biotic energy and it lifted as he felt the nodes respond to him. His entire body thrummed with the energy. It was exhilarating. Garrus and Shepard opened fire, and rendered the machine useless within moments. When Kaidan released the lift, it fell with a satisfying thud.

They stayed at the ready and moved towards it. Kaidan dropped to a squat and pulled up his omni'tool running a scan to gather as much information on this type of machine as he could while they waited for Garrus to climb down. "These things are enough to make my fuckin skin crawl. Let's find this doctor A-SAP and get the hell out of here," Shepard ordered as Garrus reached them. They made their way up the ramp to descend into the dig.

The ruins were littered with geth as they delved deeper into the planet. They reached an elevator that appeared operational and entered cautiously. Shepard activated it and it descended. "This is first Prothean ruin I've ever visited," Garrus commented casually, "Well, aside from the Citadel that is." Shepard snorted as the elevator stopped and the door opened. A bullet struck the wall just in front of her and she cursed and dropped to cover while they took out a few more geth.

"Goddamn it," Shepard muttered as she led them down further. "Why does there always have to be so many?" They entered another elevator, this one looked more decrepit than the last. The elevator descended, but as it reached the bottom it started to spark and Shepard kicked open the door and the trio jumped down the rest of the way, allowing the elevator to continue without them to avoid a collapse.

"Hello?" They heard a gentle voice call out, "Is someone there? I need help!" They followed the voice to find the Asari doctor enclosed in a blue energy field. She was being held off the ground and was quite helpless. Shepard sighed as she stepped forward, Garrus and Kaidan kept watch for more geth while the Commander and the Asari spoke. Dr. T'Soni explained that while exploring the ruins she had encountered the geth, so she activated the towers defenses to keep the geth out effectively trapping herself in the Prothean barrier.

"Alright, we'll get you out of there just..." Shepard started. Kaidan watched as her eyes moved over the Asari as she was suspended in air, she smirked, "Stay put." Dr. T'Soni let out an inelegant splutter as they moved to find a way around the barrier.

The Doctor had already told them the controls were on the other side, with her. Kaidan moved a little further into the room. He found a large laser and called out to Shepard over the comm. "There's a mining laser," Kaidan suggested, and Shepard turned towards him. She moved to stand next to him as he spoke, "I bet I could hack the controls and we could get around it that way." Shepard looked at him, then at the laser and back over where Dr. T'Soni was as she assessed the risk.

"Do it," She said before cursing as a bullet bounced off her shields. She turned around and took out the geth with a biotic throw. She and Garrus kept Kaidan under cover while he hacked into the controls and set off the laser. "Nice work, Alenko." She offered as they turned to head over to retrieve the Doctor. Once they released her, she warned them that there was a Krogan with the geth trying to get to her. The whole complex trembled. "Well, let's get out of here," She said and they activated the elevator to lift them out of the ruins. She reached out to Joker over the comm, ordering him to bring the Normandy around. When the reached the top they were stopped by the Krogan who demanded they turn over the Asari. The whole complex shuddered again as they drew their weapons.

"The laser must have weakened the structure," Garrus stated, anxiety tinting his voice.

"I don't have time for this," She muttered. Kaidan could feel her gathering her biotic energy and he did the same. They released at the same time and Dr. T'Soni dropped and hid behind some nearby crates. Kaidan knocked back the Krogan with a throw while Shepard hit the nearby geth with a lift and Garrus turned his rifle on the geth to the opposite side of them. The whole confrontation took less than three minutes, but the building support was failing. Shepard shouted an order to evacuate. Kaidan went over to Dr. T'Soni who was still crouched behind the crates. He placed his hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him as the floor shook again.

"Let's go!" He shouted and she stood slowly. He ushered her towards the exit, maybe a little rougher than he needed to be. He couldn't understand why she was moving so slow as the walls crumbled around them. They passed Shepard who was waiting to make sure they all made it out. They just cleared the exit when it collapsed behind them. Thankfully, Joker was there with the Normandy waiting and the airlock open. They made the jump easily and as soon as the door sealed the decontamination cycle started. Dr. T'Soni offered her thanks.

"Listen, your mother is working with Saren, a rogue Spectre, I need to know if I can trust you. I need to know whose side you are on." Shepard asked after removing her helmet.

"I am not on anyone's side! I have not spoken to Benezia in years. I may be her daughter but I am nothing like her," She promised. Shepard stared at Liara and Kaidan could sense the tension building. The decontamination cycle ended and Shepard sighed, looking over to Kaidan.

"Alright, everyone. Get cleaned up and meet in the comm room. You've got fifteen minutes," She ordered and thundered out of the airlock.

Kaidan looked to the doctor. "Right this way, Dr. T'Soni. I'll show you where you can wait," Kaidan offered and she gave him a timid smile. "Garrus, would you mind asking Joker to get on the comm and ask Williams, Wrex and Tali to join us for the debriefing?" Kaidan was under the impression Shepard would want the Alliance officers and the crew she picked up as a Spectre to be kept informed. Garrus agreed and they left the airlock.

"I appreciate your assistance…" Dr. T'Soni paused, "I'm sorry I didn't catch your name." Kaidan introduced himself. "Lt. Alenko, thank you for your kindness."

"It's not a problem, Doctor. Wait here, we'll be back shortly," He said after depositing the Asari in the comm room and heading down to the cargo bay to clean up and change out of his armor.

It was fifteen minutes later when they were gathered in the comm room. All were seated, except Shepard who was standing near the communication controls. She looked to each individual in the room, her eyes finally landing on the Asari. "Commander?" Dr. T'Soni spoke softly. "None of this makes sense to me. Why would the geth be after me? Why do you believe Benezia is involved?" She asked, her eyes pleading for Shepard to put her at ease. Shepard let out a breath and asked Tali to play the recording she had for Dr. T'Soni. "That… that is certainly Benezia," She confirmed. "But I am sorry I do not know what the Conduit is."

"Too close Commander!" Joker's annoyed, disembodied voice interrupted them. "Ten more seconds and we would have been swimming in molten sulfur! The Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes! They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull! Just, you know, for future reference." Shepard gave no response.

"We almost died out there and your pilot is making jokes?" Dr. T'Soni questioned her allowance of Joker's tone.

"Joker pulled our asses out of there. I think he's earned the right to a few bad jokes," She cocked an eyebrow at the alien and explained herself unnecessarily.

"I see," T'Soni responded, "I am sorry, I do not have a lot of experience working with humans. I do appreciate what you did for me, however. You saved my life back there. Not just from the explosion, either. Those geth would have killed me or surrendered me to Saren."

"Doctor, you really know nothing about the Conduit?" Kaidan spoke up, anxious to see if picking her up and risking their lives had really been worth it. Shepard looked to him as he spoke, seemingly thankful for his steering of the conversation.

"Please, call me Liara. All I know about the Conduit is that it is somehow connected to the extinction of the Protheans. That is my true area of expertise. I have spent the last fifty years searching for clues as to their true fate. There is surprisingly little left," Liara spoke, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"Fifty years?" Shepard asked, her tone disbelieving, "Just how old are you?"

"I am embarrassed to admit, I am only 106," Liara responded, a deep purple blush accentuating her high cheekbones.

"Damn!" Ashley reacted, "I hope I look that good when I'm your age." Shepard was unamused as she looked back to Liara who continued.

"Unfortunately, I am considered barely more than a child among the Asari. I fear this is why my research has not received the attention it deserves. Elder scholars tend to dismiss my theories regarding the Protheans," Kaidan thought she seemed genuine in her distaste towards the ageist discrimination she suffered.

"Lucky for us, I have my own theory on what happened to the Protheans," Shepard stated simply, locking eyes momentarily with Kaidan while Liara spoke up again.

"All due respect, Commander, I have heard every theory out there. As I said there was very little left. It was almost as if someone came through afterwards and cleaned up after them, in order to keep the mystery from being solved. Here is the remarkable part: according to my findings, the Protheans were not the first to mysteriously vanish. This cycle began long before them," Liara declared and with the declaration an uneasy feeling settled in Kaidan's core. He shifted in his seat, his eyes moving to each person in the room already privy to Shepard's theory on the Reapers. They all seemed to share in his general unease.

"Sorry, Doc, I thought you said there was no evidence?" Ashley spoke up, and then looked to Shepard who didn't seem annoyed that she had spoken out of turn. Kaidan was surprised at her laidback running of the debrief. This seemed more like a conversation among peers than superiors and subordinates. He appreciated the freedom she was allowing them.

"I have spent the last half century scouring the galaxy for every shred of information. Subtle patterns emerge, patterns that hint at the truth. There is no one piece of evidence that proves my claim. I have been submerged in this information for fifty years. It is a feeling I get, it is something I know to be true though I fail to be able to explain how I came to this conclusion to anyone else," Liara spoke sounding frustrated. Kaidan wasn't surprised her research wasn't taken seriously. Thankfully, Liara's theory fit into Shepard's vision from the beacon. The Reapers could have been around long before the Protheans. There was, apparently, no way to know for certain. Liara continued, "Hopefully, someday I will be able to prove it. There were other species before the Protheans. The galaxy is built on a cycle of extinction. Each civilization rising up on the foundation of the ones that came before. Whenever a species rises up, it is suddenly and violently cast down leaving behind only ruins. Their technology that we use today, the mass relays and the Citadel, are based on the technology of those that came before them. Then, like all the other forgotten civilizations throughout galactic history, they disappeared. I will not rest until I figure out why," Liara declared, the conviction in her voice was palpable.

"Take a rest, Liara," Shepard said, her tone dripping with irony.

"What do you mean?" Liara asked, her eyes and the inflection in her voice betraying her confusion.

"The Protheans, and if you are right every species before them, were wiped out by a race of sentient machines: The Reapers," Shepard spoke, the confidence firm and undeniable in her voice.

"The … Reapers? I have never heard – how do you know this?" Liara demanded. Kaidan felt a rush of sympathy for the Asari. She may be older than all the humans in the room combined but she still seemed so naïve. Her naivety most likely a result of her work forcing her to be alone most of the time, still she seemed so young, almost childlike. "What evidence do you have?"

"There was a damaged Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It burned a vision into my brain," She dropped her eyes to the floor and her hands went to her forehead. Her voice was low when she continued, "I am still trying to sort out what it all means."

"Then I can see why the geth would have attacked Eden Prime. The chance to obtain a working Prothean beacon, even a badly damaged one, would be worth any price. The beacons worked by broadcasting information directly into the mind of the user, but they were only programmed to interact with Prothean physiology. Any information you received would have been confused, unclear," She paused, and her voice was softer and wonder seemed to color her words when she continued, couple that with the way her eyes were following the Commander as she paced the front of the room, and Kaidan felt a sudden rush of annoyed anger, "I am amazed you were able to make sense of it at all. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process," Kaidan noticed Shepard's eyes flicker to him before falling back to the floor, he sighed as Liara continued, "You must be remarkably strong-willed Commander," Liara finished without removing her gaze from Shepard.

Kaidan's guilt and his eagerness to remind Liara there were more people in the room caused him to speak up, "This isn't helping us find Saren, or the Conduit." He had felt the need to get the conversation back on the topic at hand instead of how amazing the Commander was. He ignored the smirk on Ashley's face, and kept his eyes away from Shepard though he could feel her looking at him.

"You are right, I am sorry. My scientific curiosity got the better of me. Unfortunately, I do not have any information that may help you find the Conduit or Saren," Liara declined, her tone defeated.

The room was silent for a moment as they let that declaration sink in and Shepard processed it with the rest of the events of the day, "Well, I don't know what Saren wanted with you but it's making me think we may be better off bringing you along."

"Thank you, Commander. I fear Saren may come after me again, and I cannot think of any place safer than here on your ship. Plus, my knowledge of the Protheans may be useful later in your investigation," Liara stood and moved to stand in front of Shepard. Kaidan cleared his throat and sat slightly straighter in his seat. Shepard welcomed Liara to the team, and Liara thanked her before swaying slightly on her feet. "Whoa, my apologies. I am feeling a bit lightheaded."

Ever the medic, Kaidan spoke up, "When was the last time you ate? Or slept? Dr. Chakwas should take a look at you," He declared and Shepard nodded in agreement.

"It is probably mental exhaustion," Liara insisted, "Though I suppose it would not hurt to be examined by a medical professional." Shepard nodded and dismissed them. Kaidan stood and took Liara's arm gently to lead her down to the med bay. "Thank you again, Lieutenant." Liara offered him as he helped her down the stairs. He promised it was not a problem. "Commander Shepard is quite surprising for a human female," Liara declared.

"What do you mean?" He asked as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Liara paused in her steps for a moment and Kaidan turned to look at her.

"Well, she appears so delicate but she is quite formidable in battle. She speaks to her subordinates as if they are equals and not beneath her. She allows them to offer insight into her command. I may not have a lot of experience with humans, but I know no Asari Commander who would allow such a relaxed atmosphere when speaking with their crew. Also, she is quite attractive. At least, I think so, I am not sure if she is considered attractive by human standards," Liara spoke gently as they continued towards the med bay. Kaidan's jaw was clenched tight.

Kaidan didn't respond as, thankfully, they had reached the med bay. "Dr. Chakwas, meet Liara T'Soni," He introduced Liara to the Doctor. "She will be joining us for the duration."

"Thank you, Lieutenant. I'll run a full work up," Dr. Chakwas promised ushering Liara into the room and to one of the cots as Kaidan turned on a heel and left the med bay. He went to his station to write up his report and to download the information on the new geth they had encountered. Hopefully, there would be information available in the Alliance database. If not, he figured he could take it to Tali. She might have information not previously available to the Alliance.

Shepard rounded the corner from the level above and for a moment, Kaidan hoped she would stop over to speak with him about the events of the day. He bit back the disappointment as she went straight to her quarters, the door sighing closed behind her. It was just as well. He had plenty of work to do to keep himself occupied for the rest of his shift.

It had been a long day, and surprisingly enough, it wasn't over yet. He grabbed some energy bars from beneath his station and bit into one. It would have to be enough to hold off his biotic appetite until chow, at least it wasn't that far off.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I struggled with this chapter and with the other chapters with the actual missions. Eden Prime was an admitted cop-out. I am very curious to know what you thought, please take a moment and let me know - good or bad. Thanks! **- TLC**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** I hope you enjoy, please feel free to leave me a review. I would love some feedback. **- TLC**

* * *

Chapter Eleven

Kaidan was disappointed when he made it to the mess after his shift. The room was busy, and noisy. He had been hoping for a quick, quiet meal as the tension of the mission was slowly creeping up his shoulders and seemed eager to find a home behind his eyes. He would not be so lucky today. After getting the meal his rations allowed, Ashley called him over so he joined her and Joker. As he started his meal, the table slowly filled with Alliance crew and aliens alike. Liara came out of the med bay and filled her own tray. She stopped a few paces away from the table, seeming unsure where to sit. Kaidan noticed, and called her over to the empty seat next to him. She offered him a grateful smile and took the seat.

"You're looking much better," He complimented her between bites.

"I am feeling better, thank you. I must also admit I am quite impressed with Dr. Chakwas's knowledge of Asari physiology," Liara offered, her tone still gentle and timid.

"Dr. Chakwas is the best, rest assured you'll be in good hands with her on board," Kaidan complimented the doctor as his eyes trailed after Shepard who had chosen this moment to leave her quarters for her own meal.

"Hey Skipper!" Ashley called out, and Kaidan watched as Shepard froze and turned slowly. "Get over here, there's room for one more!" She offered and Shepard walked over. She gave them a smile before setting her tray down on the table and pulling a chair over from against the wall. "No reason you should have to hide in your fancy quarters all the time."

"I wasn't hiding, I was working," Shepard defended herself and then insisted she was just another soldier as she started her meal.

"Sorry, Shepard, that changed the moment you became a Spectre," Joker shook his head, and Kaidan noticed the minute fall of her shoulders and her eyes lifted to his, though she maintained a courteous smile. "That reminds me! I prefer gold to silver."

"For?" Shepard asked as she sipped her beverage and looked to Joker.

"My medal. You know, for pulling your asses out of the fire, literally," Joker explained, his tone held a mock exasperation.

"Why? So you can sit on a stage and listen to politicians give speeches for a couple hours?" Shepard asked, with a playful glow in her eyes. "I mean, if that's really what you want I'll write up the commendation…"

"Though, you'd have to shave," Kaidan reminded him, and Shepard sent a grin his way.

"On second thought, I'll pass. It took me seven weeks to perfect this baby," He said as he stroked his beard. Shepard and Kaidan shared an amused glance. Kaidan's eyes moved to Ashley and she shook her head at him with a smirk. His eyes flicked back to Shepard and he found her looking at him. As soon as their eyes met, her eyebrow arched slightly but she kept her eyes on his. Kaidan felt the urge to look away, but didn't and the longer she held his gaze, the less he wanted to. The teasing glint in her eyes was enticing. It became almost a battle of wills.

"Shepard, I never truly thanked you for saving me from the geth," Liara spoke and, much to Kaidan's frustration, Shepard's eyes turned to her. Liara's cheeks tinted purple in a blush at the sudden attention.

Shepard stared at her, her gaze intense and unyielding. It was as if she were still making her mind up about the Asari. This surprised Kaidan, she had seemed to take to Garrus, Tali and even Wrex fairly quickly, he wondered what it was about Liara that concerned her, "I'm glad we got there in time."

"Also, I wanted to thank you for bringing me along. I know you have taken a risk. I want to take this moment to promise you and your crew that I am not like Benezia. I know you do not trust me, yet, but I will do whatever I can to help you stop her," The table was quiet while she spoke, the Asari's eyes were down, and they didn't lift until she has stopped speaking. Kaidan had shifted in his chair so he could see her. He had the sense she was being honest, and that she truly had no idea what Benezia had been up to. Kaidan turned to watch Shepard who still hadn't responded.

There was no doubt in anyone's mind that the Commander was appraising the Asari, she was not one to hide it. Her eyes held Liara's for a long, silent moment before she spoke, "I appreciate you saying that. Though, promises are easy to make and hard to keep."

Liara's eyes moved over the whole table this time, making eye contact with each person, "I understand your suspicions and cannot begrudge you them, know that in time I will earn your trust." Kaidan noticed a small smile tug at the corner of Shepard's mouth as she watched Liara.

"Why don't you tell us about yourself, Liara? That seems like a good place to start," Shepard suggested. Liara shifted in her seat, clearly uncomfortable with being the center of attention.

"There is not much exciting about me. I am an archaeologist so I spend most of my time alone with my work," She said as others at the table returned to their meals, while listening to her speak. "I have always been fascinated by the Protheans and started studying them as soon as I was on my own. I feel as though more was expected of me, being a Matriarch's daughter, most believed I would follow in Benezia's footsteps and play a more important role in galactic society. Sometimes, I wonder if I became an archaeologist simply to spite her," Liara's tone took on a distant, almost sad quality as she spoke of her mother.

"All children rebel against their parents in some way. It is part of growing up," Shepard intoned as she finished her meal. Liara laughed softly, it was a pleasing sound.

"So, Shepard," Joker started, before swallowing a mouthful of food, then he continued, "how did you rebel against Mom and Dad?" Kaidan could have kicked him, but Shepard laughed and raised an eyebrow.

"I learned to shoot," She answered, and it was her turn to sound distant. "Mom and Dad were not fans of guns, but I insisted that someone should learn to handle a weapon, just in case. Michael, my little brother, was so jealous." Kaidan watched the grin spread across her face as she spoke of her family. "Of course, looking back on it now, I think my parents were more upset over my choice of tutor," She added, as if to stop herself from being bogged down by sad memories and pushed some food around her plate with her fork. Ashley asked who she chose. "He was the son of the farmer down the road. He was a bit older than me."

"A _bit_ older?" Ashley asked, a doubtful smirk playing on her full lips.

Shepard chuckled warmly, "Okay, he was four years older than me, which doesn't seem like a lot but I was 15 and he had already enlisted. He was home on leave," She paused for a heartbeat. "I guess my parents were right in the end. It didn't end up doing much good," The table was silent at the unintended reminder of her family's fate. Kaidan shot a look at Joker, who had the decency to look abashed, as he shrugged. Thankfully, Liara took the silence as an opening and continued speaking, oblivious to the tension.

"You, Shepard," Liara started and Shepard looked up at the asari, "share the wisdom of the Matriarchs," She was smiling, and Shepard cocked an eyebrow at her, "That is exactly what Benezia said when I told her of my decision. There was more to it than that, though. As I said, I have always felt drawn to the Protheans, these wondrous, mysterious creatures. I wanted to know everything about them. It is why I find you so … fascinating," Liara's eyes were full of wonder as she gazed at Shepard while she spoke. An awkward silence fell like a cloud on the group.

"I'm fascinating?" Shepard asked, her face twisted in an uncomfortable grimace and Kaidan heard Ashley sniggering to the other side of him.

"You were marked by the beacon on Eden Prime. You were touched by actual working, Prothean technology," Liara gushed, her meal forgotten. Kaidan couldn't help but be reminded of his own words when face to face with the beacon.

"You sound like you want to dissect her in a lab," Kaidan commented and, much to Liara's discomfort, Shepard grinned and the table let out a laugh.

"What? No! I did not mean to insinuate. I meant no offense, Shepard!" Liara was stammering, trying to backpedal from her statement. "I only mean that you would be an interesting specimen for an in-depth study," She paused and shook her head, "No, that is even worse…"

"Relax, Liara, Alenko was only joking," Shepard offered her through a chuckle while making quick eye contact with Kaidan.

"Joking…" Liara said, sitting back in her chair. "Now you know why I prefer to spend my time alone in ruins. I always seem to say something embarrassing when I am with other people. Goddess, you must think I am an utter fool. Please, let us pretend this conversation never happened." Liara sat forward and resumed her meal. Most of the table had finished but the relaxed, family like atmosphere of the group made it difficult to walk away from.

"Liara," Garrus started and she looked at him, "Do you have any idea why Benezia would have joined up with Saren?" Her eyes dropped again, shame seemed to seep from her at the reminder of her mother's actions.

She was quiet for a moment, while the table looked at her. When she looked up, it wasn't at Garrus, it was at Shepard. "I do not understand it. Benezia was always outspoken about the need for the Asari to play a greater role in the shaping of galactic events. It is possible she believed allying herself with Saren would be for the greater good in the long run," She stopped then, and looked down to her meal where she toyed with her food with her fork instead of eating it.

"We'll figure it out," Shepard promised, with a sigh as she leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. Kaidan failed in not watching Shepard as the conversation continued around her. Her attention was clearly elsewhere, but she still laughed when it was called or offered a comment when she had one. She even admonished Wrex for not mentioning he had known Saren before joining the crew. He had been hired by him, albeit not directly, to raid some merchant ships. Wrex's voice rumbled when he spoke of leaving his employ just in time, every other merc who had been hired by Saren had been killed. To this day he wasn't sure what they had been looking for. Still, Shepard seemed only half involved in their conversation, and Kaidan wondered where the rest of her was.

"Tali? You alright? You seem down," Garrus asked her, bringing everyone's attention to the young Quarian, including Shepard who now seemed fully vested. Kaidan was ashamed to admit he didn't even know Tali had joined them at the table, she had been so quiet. She had kept to herself since they left the Citadel, choosing to spend her time in Engineering with the Chief Engineer.

She sighed, "I'm fine, just adjusting. You know, trying to find my place," Her admission was timid, and Kaidan imagined she'd be blushing if they could see her face. Shepard's concern was plain on her features.

"Adams adores you," Shepard offered her, "I think he'd throw the rest of the engineers out the airlock, whether we were docked or not, if it meant keeping you with him," Kaidan knew she was saying it to be kind, but he believed her and knew Tali would too.

"Engineer Adams has been fantastic and this ship is a marvel. I understand now why humans have advanced so quickly," Tali complimented, her voice rising with excitement as she spoke of the ship.

"Well, this ship is a prototype. She's one of a kind," Joker added, his voice teeming with pride.

"Regardless, I've never been on a ship like this before. The drive core alone is astonishing," It was clear Tali had a thing for ships. Granted, her whole life had been spent on a ship so it's understandable she'd have an expansive knowledge and appreciation. "It's just too quiet. It's been difficult to sleep," Tali confessed, sounding ashamed.

"You can't sleep because it's too _quiet_?" Garrus asked, his mandibles flaring in what Kaidan supposed was a Turian version of a smirk.

"Right, well, on the flotilla, silence is bad. It usually means an engine has died or an air filter shut down," Tali explained, and Kaidan had to admit there was something pleasant about the soft trill of her voice. "Plus, the Normandy feels empty all the time, like there's not enough people. Before I left, I couldn't wait to get away from the crowds, our ships are always teeming with people. Now, I – I kind of miss it," Tali explained, and Shepard offered her a compassionate smile.

"You're homesick," Shepard offered an explanation. Tali's head tilted at the commander, "I mean, you don't always appreciate the things you have until you don't have them anymore. Maybe that's part of the lessons learned with your Pilgrimage."

"I am gaining a new perspective on things. There are pilgrims who leave, and never return. I always assumed something bad had happened to them. I could never understood why some would not return. Maybe they decided they wanted a different life," She said, sounding almost sad.

"Will you be going back?" Garrus asked her, and Tali looked over to him again.

"Of course," She said, her voice sounding more sure on this than it had anything else. "I could never imagine turning my back on my people." Kaidan was intrigued when Shepard opened her omni'tool and started rooting around in her files.

"I think I have some audio…" Shepard spoke and the attention moved to her, "Ah, there it is," She played it for the table. It was ambient noise, the noises you'd hear on an older ship or a space station. Tali gasped and Shepard's face lit up beautifully at the young woman's excitement. "I could send them to you-…"

"Oh, yes! Please do!" Tali asked as she opened her own 'tool and both women turned their attention to their wrists. "This is fantastic! Thank you, Shepard!"

Shepard was grinning when Joker asked what she could possibly have needed those audio files for. "After Mindoir, when I first moved to Arcturus, it was hard for me to get used to the noises. Colonies have their own sounds. A friend gave them to me to help me get acquainted." They were interrupted by XO Pressly's disembodied voice, letting Shepard know Anderson was available for her in the comm room. "Speak of the devil," She mumbled before speaking to the table, "On that note, I'm going to take my leave," Shepard stood and wished them a pleasant evening before heading to the stairs.

Kaidan turned and found Liara watching Shepard's retreating form, and swallowed the bitter heat in his throat before turning his attention to a smirking Ashley and Joker. Liara excused herself and made her way back to the med-bay. She had taken up residence in the back stock room after telling Shepard all she would need is an extranet terminal. Once Liara was out of earshot, and Joker had made his way to the stairs, Ashley spoke as she started clearing the table, "Careful, LT, that pretty blue devil's gonna give you a run for your money."

Kaidan said nothing, until Tali stood and started assisting Ashley, "No, Tali, Ashley is responsible for meal clean up this week," Kaidan informed her and Tali stopped and set the dishes back down. Ashley squinted at him and he maintained eye contact with a smug smirk. "It is part of her penance for back talking her Commanding Officer on the Citadel."

"Cute, L.T. Adorable, really," Ashley responded dryly. Tali bid them a good evening before walking away, knowing she had missed out on something, and not sure she wanted to know what it was. Kaidan shook his head and lifted a couple of the plates from his side of the table and took them to the kitchen area for cleaning. Ashley met him there, "I'm not trying to start trouble, I'm just trying to help."

"There is nothing to 'help' with," He argued as he turned and leaned against the sink as she stood next to him for a moment before going back to the table for more dishes. She smiled at the mess sargeant as she finished clearing the table. Kaidan and she made their way towards his station. Once they were out of earshot, he spoke again. There was no use in arguing with her, she had already picked up on the fact that he was attracted to Shepard. He let out a deep sigh as he moved to stand in front of his station and logged on. She rested against it, facing him as he spoke again, "She's my CO, even if she were interested, there are rules. It can't go anywhere."

"I'm not saying you should throw yourself at her, but I learned the hard way that you never know what's going to happen tomorrow," She said, her voice trembling slightly, and she dropped her eyes and crossed her arms over her midsection. Her voice was soft when she continued, "She won't always be your CO. There won't always be regs in the way. Don't count yourself out of the race before it's even started," She lifted her eyes to him, and he had to admit her words made sense. She smirked, any traces of sadness or regret had slid away. She knew he had heard her and taken her message to heart. She bumped him with her hip, "Now, I believe I have some vid-mails to answer."

He laughed softly and she gave him a sincere smile as she left him to his work. His shift was over, but he had started some search programs before dinner to check for information on the different types of geth they had encountered. Unfortunately, they had not returned any results. He decided he would check in with Tali, their resident geth expert, to see if she could offer any insight.

He was pleased to notice the migraine that had been building had dissipated on its own. He attributed it to the relaxed, easy company he'd been in for the last hour that had eased the tension and killed the headache before it could reach its full potential. Anytime he could beat a migraine without meds was a win in his book. He was so involved with his program, he didn't know anyone was standing with him at his station until he felt a cool hand on his arm. He jumped a little and turned to find a warm, amused smile on his COs face. He laughed at himself, "Sorry, I didn't realize you were there." He turned to face her fully, and she apologized for startling him. "Was there something I could do for you Commander? Ah- Shepard," He corrected himself with a chuckle, and was pleased when she grinned at him.

"Just wanted to pick your brain for a minute, if you're not busy," She said gesturing towards his terminal.

"Not at all," he said and motioned to the seats at the wall behind his console. "Just seeing what kind of information I can get my hands on regarding the geth we've seen."

"Any luck?" She asked as they sat.

"None. I think I might seek out Tali, and see if she can offer any insight. She has to know more than the little I'm finding," He answered, his disappointment at the lack of information was plain in his tone.

"I think she would like that, a chance to contribute outside of Engineering," Shepard agreed, and Kaidan nodded. "Any edge we can get, even a small one, could make a big difference later," She looked up at him and then chuckled at herself, "But I don't have to tell you that." She looked away from him then, and was silent for a minute.

"Did you need something, Shepard?" He asked her and she looked up at him.

"Yeah, sorry, wanted to check in and get your opinion on our new crew member. I feel like most of the crew is still wary of her," Shepard admitted, turning in the chair and tucking a leg up under her.

"Liara?" He asked and she nodded. "She seems nice enough, I guess, if you like the bookish sort," He commented, attempting to gauge her interest in the Asari.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, "Any intentions there, Lieutenant? I know how much you appreciated the uh, 'view' at Chora's Den." She replied, sardonically. Her question, and her tone, surprised him.

"Uh, no, Shepard. No intentions. Chora's Den… that was just art appreciation. I prefer more … adventurous women," He answered, and their eye contact deepened for a second until she nodded and looked away. "I do think she's genuine when she says she doesn't know what her mother has been up to," He admitted and watched the relief fall over her face.

"Me too," She confessed, her breathy tone was like a release of pent up concern. "For a moment, I thought she might have been pulling the wool over my eyes. I feel a little better knowing you're seeing what I am. At least, if she's fooling me I'm not alone," A smirk tugged at her lips.

"She seems so young, almost naïve, it's hard to remember sometimes that she's older than both of us combined," He remarked as she lifted a hand and toyed with a loose piece of hair, twirling it around her fingers. "I guess, though, considering our life spans, we have to do a lot more living in a shorter amount of time."

"That's an interesting way of looking at it, I hadn't considered it like that. She's over one hundred years old and hasn't even considered children. I'm almost 30 and on a colony I'd be expected to have at least three by now," She admitted distantly, as she tucked the stray hair back into her bun.

"With your shooting tutor?" Kaidan asked with a smirk. When she laughed, it sent a rush of pleasure to his core.

"No, he … the raid," She said shaking her head, amazingly still grinning. Silence fell on them then but, surprisingly, it wasn't uncomfortable. "Convenient, though, that she's an expert in the Protheans," Shepard commented, then as if she was still working through the pieces of the puzzle, she added before Kaidan could, "However, I'm sure that's why the Saren sent the geth after her."

Kaidan nodded and noticed the stray hair had fallen out of the bun again, his fingers itched to reach up and push it back. If she weren't his CO, he would have done it already, "Maybe she'll be able to help you with the visions from the beacon," He said, hating the guilt that built up immediately as she winced.

"I'll tell you one thing, after talking to her, I'm definitely glad I was able to get you out of the way in time," She commented absently as she reached up and pulled the pins out of her hair, letting it fall.

"What do you mean?" He asked, as he ignored the pleasantly familiar scent he was beginning to associate with her as it seemed to spill from her hair as she combed it with her fingers.

"Well, from what she said, it sounds like I was lucky to have survived the beacon's imprint. Who knows what would have happened to you if I hadn't gotten to you in time. I guess, I'm glad it was me," She answered, as their eyes connected again. He could see the sincerity there, and felt warmed by it.

"If we're looking for a silver lining, we can go with that. I just wish I had known better than to get near to it in the first place," He said with a shrug. "I have to imagine it's not comfortable."

"Shit in one hand, wish in the other and see which one fills up first," Shepard said, a distant look in her eyes and Kaidan felt his face break into a smile.

"Where did that come from?" He asked and her eyes turned to him, and nostalgic smile gracing her features.

"Something my grandmother used to say. Seriously though, I've been through worse. My gram's point was you shouldn't make wishes about things you can't change yourself. Like I said before, you had no idea what would happen and all you did was walk towards it," She softly reprimanded him, "Besides, now we know what Saren knows and I'm grateful for that," She eased his concerns. "And stop making me repeat myself," She scolded with mock annoyance.

"Yes, Ma'am," He teased, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

"Goddamn it, Alenko," They laughed again. Kaidan noticed as they spoke that she seemed a little more open when it was one on one than when they were in a group. He was grateful that she would seek him out and was glad that he'd been able to ease some of her concerns, and maybe even help her work through her own thoughts. She pinned her hair back up. It was a simple act, pinning up her hair, but it distracted him momentarily. Kaidan was amazed by it. She had a lot of hair, and was able to get it all back and up with just four small pins and without seeing what she was doing. "You know, I did some digging into Jump Zero," She said, and Kaidan grinned, there was no way she would find anything, no matter who she spoke to.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, "Find anything?" He was still grinning,

"Not yet," She admitted, "It's pretty well classified."

"That's cause, as far as the Alliance is concerned, it never happened," Kaidan answered with a shrug.

"Well, I'm not done looking," She said, and Kaidan could sense the determination in her voice and in the firm set of her brow, even if she was grinning spectacularly. He wished her luck, and she stood. "I should go plot out our next stop." Kaidan nodded, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his thighs, his hands clasped as his eyes followed her. He asked her where they were headed. "Feros. There's been some geth activity there, and the colony has dropped out of contact," She answered, and he nodded.

She wished him a good night and turned on her heel. He sat for another moment and watched her walk away. He entertained the thought that maybe he didn't need Ashley's help. His terminal sounded then, bringing his attention back to the program. He stood, and checked the results: still nothing. He sent a message to Tali, asking her to let him know when she had some time free to go over what he had picked up. The response was almost immediate, he smiled at her eagerness and transferred the information to his omni'tool before powering down his terminal and heading down to Engineering. He would like to be able to provide Shepard with some more information on the geth the next time she sought him out. He hoped it would be sooner rather than later.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** I want to say thank you to anyone who added this to their favorites or follow lists. I also have to send a special thank you to Jules Hawk for all the feedback you've given.

Please feel free to leave me a review after you read, I would love to know what you think. **- TLC**

* * *

Chapter Twelve

As a colony, Zhu's Hope left a lot to be desired and Kaidan had the impression it hadn't been this depressing before the geth attack. He was on the Normandy, gathering supplies from their med bay to try to assist with some of the injuries resulting from the events of the day. They had arrived much earlier, and it appeared they would be spending the night docked before attempting to finish the rest of their mission. When they first arrived, Shepard had chosen Kaidan and Garrus to join her. She seemed to appreciate the well-rounded levels of talent in tech, biotics and military training this trio offered. They had been greeted by a colonist, who had directed them to speak to Fai Dan, the head of the colony. Almost before he finished speaking, the geth attacked killing the man and startling the trio into action. They made quick work of the handful of machines. The attack set them on high alert as they made their way into the colony.

Kaidan watched as Shepard's face fell at the state of the colony. It was in shambles, granted it had been built off the Prothean ruins found here, it still felt less like a colony and more like the slums back on Earth. They were directed to Fai Dan who explained that even before the geth attack, the colony had been struggling. Their water supply had been cut off, they were running low on meat supplies and the power cells needed for their generator had blown leaving them powerless. If this wasn't an example of a failing colony Kaidan didn't know what was. He wondered why ExoGeni, the company who founded the colony, hadn't shut it down. They must have expected to find something in the ruins. Then the geth arrived. Even their conversation with Fai Dan had been interrupted by geth gunfire.

"They just keep coming!" A colonist fitted with a weapon he had never been trained on exclaimed as he popped from cover to try to defend his home. Shepard looked to Kaidan and Garrus and no words needed to be spoken. They moved forward into the tunnels taking out the geth in their path and searching for whatever it was that was drawing them to this area. Thankfully, as they made their way through the pathways, they founds deactivated water valves. Upon reactivating the third valve, they heard the water start to flow, and Shepard grinned in satisfaction.

They met a man in the tunnels, who seemed ill and spoke in riddles. Shepard offered to help him, but he had insisted there was no help to be had. Reluctantly, they left him there but Kaidan knew Shepard would be speaking to Fai Dan about it when they returned to the colony. They found a collapsed section of highway, and were able to take down the ill, near rabid Alpha Varren to allow the colonists to hunt safely for the remaining pack to supplement their food supply. As they rummaged through the debris in the area, Garrus was able to pull functional power cells from a damaged vehicle left abandoned. They stowed them in their bag and continued their way through the tunnels.

They found a geth transmitter and destroyed it with great gratification before turning and making their way back to the colony, eager to find out what exactly was going on here. The behavior of the colonists seemed odd, aside from the attacks. No one would speak of the colony itself, only directed them to Fai Dan who deflected their questions with the talk of the geth. The geth drop ship had left the tower, but had only moved and latched on to the side of the ExoGeni Headquarters on the other side of the Prothean highway. The trio went to the highway, and took a Mako across the way to the headquarters. They were quiet in the vehicle, paying attention to the geth in their path. Garrus worked the gun and Shepard drove while Kaidan used the thrusters to avoid the energy pulses the geth shot at them.

They were picking up some radio chatter on their way, which seemed to be ExoGeni staff assessing the damage and their odds. As they neared the building, the talk mentioned they could hear a vehicle coming and that it wasn't the geth. It was assumed that it was them in their Mako. They stopped and found some ExoGeni refugees awaiting rescue. Apparently, the daughter of one of the refugees was still at headquarters, Kaidan and Shepard exchanged a glance. The place was overrun with geth, if she hadn't found some place to hide, the odds of her being alive were slim. Still, they promised to look for her as they searched for the reason Saren had sent his geth here.

They went back to the Mako and went further into the tower. Kaidan could sense Shepard's frustration growing when the Mako was blocked from continuing. They were forced to proceed on foot, without the added protection of the vehicle. Unfortunately, as they searched for a path into the tower, they found their way forward blocked by an energy field that none of the weapons would have been powerful enough to break through. With a resigned sigh, Shepard ordered them down through a broken section of floor in an attempt to get around the barrier. As soon as their feet touched the ground, a shot rebounded off Shepard's shields and ricocheted into the darkness. They had found Lisbeth Baynham, the daughter of the refugee.

Shepard eased her concerns about being shot at and made sure Lisbeth was okay. She had stayed behind to protect data when the rest of the building had evacuated, then she was stuck and had to hide. Shepard asked if she had any idea what the geth were after, and that was the first time they had heard anything about the Thorian. Unfortunately, Lisbeth didn't have any specific information. She did, however, hand over her ID badge to grant them access to other areas. They made their way deeper into the tower, looking for a way to dislodge the geth drop ship to disable the energy fields and get communication back up.

During their search, the encountered a Krogan attempting to access information from the company's VI. Due to the security protocols, he was not given any of the information he requested and the VI asked him to step aside to allow the queue forming behind him access. Thankfully, Shepard had her rifle out and Kaidan was ready with a lift before the Krogan had a chance to draw his weapon. They moved up to the terminal, and Shepard pulled out Lisbeth's ID card. The VI greeted Lisbeth, and proceeded to inform them that there was no new information on the Thorian because the observation sensors at Zhu's Hope had been inactive for several cycles. Kaidan and Garrus exchanged a worried glance at the heated tone in Shepard's voice when she asked the VI what Zhu's Hope had to do with the Thorian. Kaidan could feel her biotics reacting to the anger raging through her.

The VI informed them that the Thorian was located within the colony. It is a species of plant that exhibits a sentient behavior like no one had seen before. Through the dispersion and eventual inhalation of spores it is able to control other species, including humans. ExoGeni established the colony of Zhu's Hope as a control group, to study the affect of the Thorian on humans. Shepard cursed, "We've got to get the fuckin geth out of here and get back to the colony."

Garrus and Kaidan nodded their assent and followed Shepard further into the building. Eventually, they found where the drop ship had attached itself to the wall and they moved to the controls for the gate. Kaidan played with the settings, allowing it to snap closed with enough force to break off the leg and cause the ship to fall from the building clearing communications and disabling the barriers. Shepard radioed to Joker who informed them the colonists had gone berserk and were attacking the ship. She ordered the remaining crew to bunker down inside the Normandy and not to injure a colonist until she was back to assess the situation and make the call then.

They found Lisbeth and the barriers were clear. Shepard reamed into her for not being more upfront on the Thorian and ExoGeni's intentions. She apologized and explained that she had been sidelined and taken off the project because she disagreed with the company's goals and methods. Shepard let out a deep breath, and ordered her to accompany them back to the base. They made their way, silently, along the highway back towards the colony. The tension was coming off Shepard in waves and Kaidan had the feeling it was because this was a colony. She had said before, she had a weakness when it came to colonies.

They reunited Lisbeth with her mother and the rest of the ExoGeni refugees. Shepard turned to Ethan Jeong, an ExoGeni employee who had informed her that the company wanted the colony purged. "This is a human colony, you can't just wipe them out and start over!" Ethan drew his pistol and Shepard informed him there would be no purge, except for her purging the Thorian. "You'd better be ready to use that weapon, or put it away," She said in warning, her voice held a deadly calm. His hand shook, and he swore as he moved to pull the trigger. Shepard was faster, and drew her pistol and before he could get a shot off, Shepard fired a round into the center of his chest, effectively ending any discussion. Shepard turned her attention back to the Baynhams. "I don't want to hurt any of the colonists, but my crew tells me they've attacked our ship. Do you have any suggestions?"

It was decided they would lace Shepard's grenades with an anti-nerve gas that would work as a sedative to the colonists who already had weakened nervous systems while not affecting Shepard and her team. She agreed to give it a try. They completed the necessary modifications before getting back into the Mako to head back to Zhu's Hope. "Shepard, are you-…" Kaidan had started but Shepard cut him off.

"Not now, Alenko," Her answer was short and abrupt but not angry, not towards him. He swallowed as they checked their weapons and she drove them back across the highway. Upon reaching the colony, they found not only the colonists but another type of husk that looked almost organic. They moaned pitifully, and lumbered towards you. When shot, or essentially "killed" they would rupture and green ooze would erupt from their disintegrating forms. Before they entered the garage, Shepard ordered them to put on their helmets. "I don't want to risk us inhaling any spores while we're here. What's done is done, but there's no point in tempting fate," She said as she secured the fastenings. She turned her back to Kaidan when she was done, and looked at him over her shoulder. He took a step closer and double checked the closures. He tapped her shoulder guard twice and she turned, and with a gesture ordered him to turn so she could check his. Once they were sure their helmets were secure, their eyes locked for a moment, it was brief but heavy.

She turned her head from him and signaled for Garrus to open the garage door. The battle was messy and fast. The Thorian Creepers were everywhere, seeming to grow from the ground. They reached the first group of colonists and Shepard tossed a grenade at their feet before turning and lifting the Creepers that had surrounded Kaidan which allowed Garrus to take them out with his rifle. The grenade went off, releasing the gas and the colonists fell unconscious. Kaidan could sense Shepard's relief that the grenade worked as the last of the creepers erupted. She looked to the two of them, and squared her shoulders before signaling for them to continue to the colony.

A shot from a colonist ricocheted off Kaidan's armor and Shepard tossed another grenade at the grouping, cursing when only half the colonists fell under its effects. She left Kaidan and Garrus to deal with the Creepers. She braced herself and ran into the colonist's gunfire. With a heavy fist she threw a couple left hooks, knocking them out the old fashioned way, in an effort to save the grenades for larger groups. When this area was clear of gunfire, they slowly moved further into the colony. Shepard let out a yell as a round bypassed her shields and struck her armor knocking her back a step.

Kaidan moved forward this time and, following Shepard's lead, knocked out the colonist with a quick jab. They made eye contact as briefly she moved back to take point. They were at the entrance to the colony, and Shepard only had a few grenades left. Again, she left Kaidan and Garrus to the Creepers as she moved in and tossed two grenades into a rather large group of colonists. He heard her let out a deep breath over the helmet comms as all the colonists in the area dropped, but she only had one grenade left. So far, they had yet to kill a colonist.

They reached the open area at the colony, and the last of the colonists were there, behind cover, waiting for them. "Alenko!" She called out as she surveyed the area, "I'm going to center ground, I'll pull those on the left to me, you throw those on the right then I'll set off the final grenade," She ordered. His heart pounded in his chest at the order, hoping the gas in the grenade would be enough to knock out the whole group, if not, she would be overwhelmed.

"Aye, aye," He was forced to obey, despite his reservations.

"Garrus, get to higher ground and focus on the creepers," She ordered and he climbed onto some nearby crates and pulled out his sniper rifle to take them out. "On my order, Alenko," She said and he nodded. She took a breath and ran to the center of the clearing, "Now!" She shouted as she pulled half the colonists to her and Kaidan released the pent up energy to corral the rest of them to her. The grenade went off seconds later, and the colonists around her fell, and the force of the grenade sent her hard to her side a few feet away.

Kaidan cursed under his breath as he and Garrus finished off the remaining creepers before he ran over to her. He opened his omni'tool and ran a medical scan over her. There were no spinal injuries, just the gunshot to her shoulder and an injury to her leg. He rolled her to her back and framed her helmet with his gloved hands looking through her visor at her face. The sudden silence of the area was stunning as Garrus walked over to check on them. "Is she-?" Garrus asked, as her eyes twitched and opened, immediately finding his. He could feel the relief wash over him and he released her.

She propped herself up on her elbows and was silent for a second as she assessed herself. "I wasn't expecting the force of the grenade," She admitted sounding sheepish. "Is everyone alright?" She asked.

"All colonists are alive and accounted for, except Fai Dan," Kaidan answered as she sat up. He stood and reached out a hand which she accepted and allowed him to pull her to her feet. As if mentioning his name summoned him, they heard dragging footsteps behind them. They turned and found Fai Dan headed their way with a pistol pointed at Shepard.

"I tried to fight it, but it gets in your head. You can't imagine the pain. I was supposed to be their leader. It wants me to-to stop you, but… I… won't," Speaking was a struggle for the man as he fought the Thorian's control, reluctantly, Shepard pulled out her own pistol and waited, "I won't!" He shouted as he put the pistol to his own temple.

Shepard's anguished cry ripped from her throat at the same moment he pulled the trigger. He slumped to his knees, and then finally fell. Shepard dropped to her own knee, her head fell forward. She looked defeated, but in the aftermath, the battle was clearly a success. She sat back and let herself lean against a pillar. He could hear her deep ragged breaths over the comm. "Get medical supplies from the Normandy. I want to be prepared to help them when they wake. Get the others to help bring the colonists to this area. Bring Dr. Chakwas. Make sure everyone has breather helmets on. I'm going to need a minute," She said, her voice sounded exhausted and tender. He looked to her, and could see where bullets had broken through her armor as she sat with her left knee up and her right leg, her injured leg, stretched out in front of her. A sickening mix of medi-gel and blood oozed from her shoulder. There was a gash in her thigh, most likely from that final grenade. Garrus and Kaidan nodded their assent and went to the Normandy. Kaidan looked over his shoulder and he watched her head fall back and rest on the pillar with a deep sigh heard over the comm, before she shut hers off.

Kaidan left the Normandy with a bag full of supplies and found Shepard where he had left her, as the others worked around her setting the colonists up on cots while Dr. Chakwas ran scans over them. He went to her, and dropped to his knee in front of her. "Alenko, go help-…" She had started to order but he shook his head.

"No, they've got in under control. I want to look at your shoulder and your leg," He said as he opened his bag. She sighed her consent, and shifted slightly, allowing him better access to her wounded side. He removed his own gloves as she removed hers and started on her gauntlet, but he moved her hand out of the way and took over removing the armor from her arm and shoulder. She sighed, and dropped her head back against the pillar. The bullet had broken through the weaving of the armor and tore the skin, but it was just a flesh wound. Medi-gel and been released by her suit, but the system had been damaged which had caused the leak. Gingerly, he cleaned the wound and noticed she didn't even wince at the sting of the antiseptic. He applied a liberal amount of medi-gel directly to the wound before covering it.

"Humans did this to these people," She said, after a quiet moment. "They came to this colony full of hope and wanting something new, something that was their own. This wasn't an alien act. This was humanity," Her voice was sad, and full of disgust. He sat back on his heels and she looked to him, making eye contact through their visors.

"And a human is going to save them," He reminded her, and she chuckled softly.

"Damn straight," She said, though she still sounded tired. "I thought maybe we could wait until the morning to head down for the Thorian, but I'm thinking we should take care of it tonight. The sooner we end that thing, the sooner we can free these people."

"Aye, aye, but I need to look at your leg first," He said and she nodded. She reached down to unhook her greave, and he helped her pull it away. Though the material of her underarmor was ruined, he still apologized before ripping it further, fully exposing the wound. It ran from the center of her thigh up to just under her hip. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. He swallowed and tried not to think about how much of her naked thigh was exposed to him. He focused on his medic training and pulled out a clean cloth to wash the wound. A violent hiss left her as he poured the antiseptic over the gash, and he clenched his jaw. He dried it, and applied the medi-gel. The skin of her leg was soft and warm as his hand tenderly spread the gel. He glanced up, and found her eyes on him as he mended her wounds. He stopped his ministrations and locked eyes with her, his fingers curled around her leg while his thumb slowly ran over the end of the wound. He could see the hurt that she was reliving for these colonists, the anger at ExoGeni, the disgust in humanity, and something else. Something just as heated that bubbled under the surface, and drew him in.

"Lieutenant," Dr. Chakwas spoke, breaking their moment, and Shepard's head fell back again as he turned to look at the doctor, glad he was still in his armor. This way, no one would notice the blush rising from his collar. "Did you bring more medi-gel from the ship? I'm out," She asked him and he nodded. He looked back to Shepard, but she had closed her eyes to rest and he made quick work of the bandage and took the Doctor the rest of the supplies he had brought. He turned back to glance at Shepard and she was securing her greave back on her leg, her armor already back on her arm and shoulder, before she stood and stretched. She moved passed them, handing him his gloves as she went.

"Alenko," She called and pointed at the controls for the crane that would lift the part of the ship off the entrance to the Thorian's, what?, lair? He went to it immediately and opened the code to hack the system as she gave the orders. Garrus, Kaidan and she would be heading down to end the Thorian. The rest of the squad were charged with protecting the colonists from any remaining geth and from themselves. With a loud creaking noise, the section of ship lifted. Shepard gave the order for them to move out, and she dropped first followed by Kaidan and Garrus.

The trio made their way down the hallways looking for the Thorian. They weren't quite sure exactly what it was they were looking for. That is, until they saw it, "Holy fuck, that doesn't look like any plant I've ever seen," Shepard sighed as they drew their weapons and took a couple steps closer. It was a large, organic mass suspended within the structure of the building. Its tendrils extended from the main body of the being and stretched into the decrepit hallways. It looked like a cancerous growth. Shepard shuddered as they stepped closer. It pulsed, and throbbed as it leaked. The whole area smelled like rotting compost. Most of the walls or railings along the stair cases and hallways surrounding the Thorian were long gone. This left large sections of open floor with a drop off beneath the Thorian that went down further down then the eye could see.

As the being throbbed, something was dropped from inside. What appeared to be a green tinted Asari stood and locked eyes with Shepard. It spoke, "Invaders! Your every step is a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meat, good only to dig or decompose. I speak for the Old Growth, as I did for Saren. You are within and before the Thorian. It commands that you be in awe!"

Shepard signaled for them to drop their weapons, and they did but they did not holster them. "You gave something to Saren. Something I need," She replied taking a small step closer to the Asari.

"Saren sought knowledge of those who are gone. The Old Growth listened to flesh for the first time in the Long Cycle. Trades were made. Then cold ones began killing the flesh that would tend the next cycle. Flesh fairly given! The Old Growth sees the air you push as lies! It will listen no more!"

Anger radiated from Shepard, and she glowed blue as she stepped closer still, "I won't let you keep your thralls! Release them. Now!"

"No more will the Thorian listen to those that scurry. Your lives are short, but have gone on too long!" With those words, the Asari attacked. Luckily, their weapons were already drawn and they made quick work of her before turning towards the moaning sounds of the Creepers.

As Kaidan made his way down the hall, he found a node where the Thorian was attached to what was left of the wall, "Shepard! Over here!" He called to her and she came up behind him, shotgun drawn and with a few quick raps it released from the wall and the tendril fell to hang with the main body of the Thorian. "I bet there's more of these, maybe if we release enough it will fall." She nodded and they continued down the hall. As soon as they left the stairway they were met by another green tinted asari clone.

Her biotics were formidable, but the combination of Shepard and Kaidan's talents made it a fair match. This continued relentlessly as they descended lower and lower searching out the nodes. With the destruction of each node, a new asari clone would appear. It was exhausting between the Asari and the never ending supply of the Creepers. After what felt like an eternity, the main portion of the Thorian seemed to sway with its own weight as it ejected another clone, "I think we've almost got it, Shepard," Kaidan offered and Shepard turned to look at him in the same moment a Creeper came round a corner and knocked into her. She was standing too close to the edge of the level and though she struggled to catch her balance she fell. Without thinking, Kaidan reached out with a biotic pull and retrieved her while Garrus took out the Creeper. She came flying back over the ledge, and when he released her she slid across the floor until she was lying just under the node. Without speaking a word she lifted her shotgun, and blasted it showering herself with its rotting fluids.

With a great groan that echoed throughout the decaying structure, the Thorian fell to its death. Shepard let her arms fall to her sides and stayed lying on the ground, staring at the ceiling of the ruins. Kaidan and Garrus rushed over to her, Garrus got there first and extended a hand to her. She reached out and took it and he pulled her to her feet, "Commander, are you alright?" Garrus asked her, concern playing in his two-toned voice.

"I'm fine. Nice grab, Alenko," She commented by way of thanks and nodded at him. He returned the nod, grateful, not for the first time, that she had convinced him to use his biotics more; if she hadn't he may not have thought to do it in time. Before he could speak he noticed one of the Thorian's flesh pods on the wall rupture and an Asari fell to the floor on all fours. She coughed and spit out a mouthful of the Thorian's essence before breathing deeply. All three pointed their weapons at her. She stood and held her hands out at them.

"I'm… I'm free," the Asari spoke and Shepard lowered her weapon, just slightly. "I suppose I should thank you for releasing me."

"Who are you? Why are you here?" Shepard asked, her voice tense and still angry.

"My name is Shiala, I serve—I served Matriarch Benezia. When she allied herself with Saren, so did I. I came to this world in search of the Thorian. Saren needed its knowledge. He needed my biotic abilities to communicate with it," Shepard decided she posed no immediate threat, and holstered her weapon. Kaidan and Garrus followed suit. Yet, Kaidan could feel Shepard's biotics on a hair trigger, so he had himself just as ready as they continued to listen to Shiala. "Saren offered me in trade. I was sacrificed to secure an alliance between Saren and the Thorian."

"Saren's pretty quick to betray his own people," Shepard commented, crossing her arms over her chest and shifting her weight.

"He was quick to betray the Thorian, too. After he had what he wanted, he ordered the geth to destroy all evidence of its existence," Shepard glanced to Kaidan and Garrus, that seemed to be Saren's MO. Shiala continued, "Saren knows you are searching for the Conduit. He knows you are following his steps. He attacked the Thorian so you could not gain the Cipher."

"What is the Cipher and why did Saren need it?" Kaidan asked and Shepard looked to him momentarily before looking back to Shiala as she spoke.

"The beacon on Eden Prime gave you visions, but the visions are unclear, confusing. This is because they were meant for a Prothean mind. To truly comprehend them, you must think like a Prothean. You must understand their culture, their history, their very existence. The Thorian was here long before the Protheans built this city. It watched and studied them. When they died, it consumed them. They became a part of it."

Shepard sounded disbelieving as she spoke, "So the Thorian taught Saren to think like a Prothean?" She glanced over the edge at where they had sent the Thorian to its death, "How?"

"The Cipher is the very essence of being a Prothean. It cannot be described or explained. It would be like describing color to a creature without eyes. To understand, you must have access to endemic ancestral memory. A viewpoint spanning thousands of Prothean generations. I sensed this ancestral memory – the Cipher – when I melded with the Thorian. Our identities merged, our minds intertwined. Such knowledge cannot be taught; it simply exists," Shiala spoke almost reverently about the Thorian, and it sent chills down Kaidan's spine.

"I need it to stop Saren," Shepard answered simply.

"Well," Shiala started, "There is a way. I can transfer the knowledge from my mind to yours, as I did with Saren," She took a step closer to Shepard, who planted her feet firmly. "Try to relax, Commander. Slow, deep breaths. Let go of your physical shell. Reach out to grasp the threads that bind us, one to another," Shiala moved closer to Shepard and Kaidan took a step forward, instinctually, protectively, but Shepard signaled for him to stay where he was as she removed her helmet. She returned her eyes to the Asari. He had a bad feeling in his gut about this, and looked to Garrus who seemed just as concerned. "Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Every idea must touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another's spirit. We are all connected. Every living being in a single, glorious existence. Open yourself to the universe, Commander," Shiala's head fell back and her eyes closed, "Embrace eternity!" She spoke loud and firm as she lifted her head and opened her eyes which had gone black like the night.

Shepard's body tensed, and her hands formed fists at her sides. Her eyes were pinched closed and her mouth twisted in a painful grimace. Kaidan's heart pounded as they sat, frozen and waiting for it to be over. After a brief eternity, Shepard's body relaxed and the pair opened their eyes. Shepard was silent as she looked around. Her clouded eyes found Kaidan's and locked on.

"I have given you the Cipher, just as it was given to Saren. The ancestral memories of the Protheans are a part of you now," Shepard turned her haunted eyes back to Shiala as the asari started speaking and scrubbed her hands over her face in an effort to pay attention to what she was saying.

"Shepard, are you alright?" Kaidan asked, the concern plain in his voice and he didn't care who heard it. She looked to him and confessed she saw something but it was still confusing. She sounded disappointed.

"You have been given a great gift: the experience of an entire people. It will take time for your mind to process this information," Shiala insisted, sounding desperate.

"We should get you to the ship, Shepard. You're looking kind of rough," Kaidan suggested taking a step closer to her as she swayed on her feet for a second.

"You sure know how to sweet talk the ladies, Alenko," She joked, and Kaidan was glad she was feeling well enough to tease him as he took her elbow to steady her, her eyes lifted to his at the contact. Her pupils were dilated and her face pale. He clenched his jaw.

Shiala continued speaking, "I am sorry if you suffered, but there was no other way. You needed the Cipher. In time, it will help you understand the vision from the beacon." They started making their way back to the colony, and Kaidan was surprised Shepard allowed him to maintain his hold on her arm. It was decided as they walked that Shiala would stay on at the colony and serve almost a penance for her part in their suffering.

When they made it back to the colony, they found the colonists awake and grateful for the Normandy's assistance. Shepard covered his hand on her arm without looking at him as her eyes moved over the make shift triage area. She pulled away from Kaidan then and made quick rounds. Kaidan watched as she stopped and spoke with each colonist, allowing them to shake her hand and thank her. Kaidan had a feeling this small action would do a lot to alleviate any sadness she had over what happened here.

As she finished making her way around to the cots, Kaidan noticed the rest of her crew had gone to the ship already, leaving him looking after her. When she said goodbye to the last colonist, she turned and found him waiting for her. She let a sad smile tug at her face as she made her way over to him. "I suppose it could have ended worse," She said softly as they walked side by side to the Normandy.

"Yeah, it could have," He replied, thinking of the moment she'd set off that last grenade and hadn't stood up. He thought of the way she flailed as she fell over the edge in the Thorian's lair. He thought of the intense pain on her face as Shiala forced the Cipher into her head. He looked at her as they walked, she still seemed pale but was more sure footed. Her brow was creased, and her eyes were down. They reached the Normandy and started the decontamination sequence, 'It could have ended a lot worse,' he thought.


End file.
